Roseanne Season 1 Episode 19

Roseanne: There's more things to life than just money.
Jackie: I know, I can't afford any of them.

Jackie: (when 'somebody's' error at Wellman's causes overtime for everyone) I suppose you're going to point the finger at me.
Roseanne: Yeah, and you know which one.

Roseanne: Becky, I asked you to do one thing and you didn't do any of them.

Roseanne: Yeah, but you gotta keep swimmin,' right? 'Cuz that's what all us women do, keep swimming'.

Roseanne: Let me ask you somethun,' did you ever work overtime?
Waitress: Honey, my whole life is overtime.

Roseanne: (complaining to an overworked waitress) I gotta check in a hospital just to get a vacation.
Waitress: As long as it isn't a maternity ward.

Roseanne: You've got to learn some responsibility. You're the oldest daughter, the second in command, you're the heiress to my throne here.
Becky: All right, I'll go fold the royal underwear!

Jackie: (about overtime pay) It's gonna add up to a nice piece of change for you guys.
Roseanne: Yeah, we'll finally be able to afford that stone lion for our villa in France.

Booker: Listen up, I have an important announcement.
Roseanne: You're a woman trapped in a man's body?

Dan: I thought you were kidnapped.
Darlene: I wish I was.
Roseanne: Well, open your bedroom window and you might get lucky.

Booker: (to Roseanne, Jackie and Crystal, arguing with each other on the factory work floor) Hey, knock off the yelling in there!
Roseanne: We're just practicing the company cheer, Booker!

Roseanne: Why is it that a guy can hoist a three-ton truck to check for an oil leak but he can't lift a two-ounce toaster to clean up crumbs?

Jackie: We get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?
Crystal: There's no wrong side of the bed when there's a man in it.
Roseanne: Well, there is if he's stealin' the quilt and snoring like a big, old hog.