In a quick synopsis of the show :
The opening monolgue by Rosie O'Donnell was stale as bread and dabbled in a few fat jokes, breast jokes and homosexual humor.
The following act was a musical number starring Rosie singing along side aged disaster Liza Minnelli. The two talentless clowns pretended to a confused audience taht they were going to sing an impromtu song and dance number starring lame hats. Liza was a complete disaster, singing off key and missing a few words in the lyrics and almost taking Rosie's face off in a hat removal. The two kept the song ging for far longer than needed and wad then mercifully ended via commercial interruption.
The following segment starred a chubby Alec Baldwin talking into Rosie's breasts and presenting Rosie with a door. The door was then opened to reveal Conan O'Brien holding a cream pie right in front of his face and tall hair. Alec then "sponaneously" pushed the pie into Conan's mug, where Conan then left his manhood and his dignity on the stage as he exited Rosie's amazing door. Alec Baldwin proceeded to hoist Rosie up and awkwardly spun her around once, with Rosie's chubby leg dangling 2 inches from the floor.
Rosie then began a short monologue commenting on her stage acting, egotistically showing a positive New York Times review of her thesbian skills to a borderline cheerless crowd. She then called out a bunch of darling children and began tap dancing with them, and was out shown by the entire 6 year old ensemble. The number ended with a confused Rosie attempting to get a few laughs by appearing even more out of sync than she already was, and doing a sloppy solo. One of the little girls then ran to Rosie to proclaim to crickets chirpping "You're getting better!" The Lumbar twins were then introduced, two icons of the tap dancing world, and delighted absolutely no one while they showed to all doubters that they ARE the premiere tap dancing twin group in all of North America and Africa. The crowd obliged the sponsors by clapping. The doorbell then rings and Rosie runs over wondering who it is. Rosie opens the door to reveal Tony award winner Jane Krakowski, who Rosie seamlessly introduces before she opens to door to see who it is. Jane then begins a musical number that shows the audience what they are all receiving for free, biting Oprah's style and trying to ride the coattails of anyone that already has a popular primetime show. The entire laundry list of giveaways is accompanied by a stripteasing Jane Krakowski, who decides on the last note to remove her brazierre, which Rosie mercifully covers up, screaming "It's a family show!" Rosie then screams her way awkwardly off stage to a commercial.
Rosie then ends the commercial break with an introduction of a long maned Clay Aiken, dressed like a knight with a big cock (rooster) on his chest. The two then go thru a list of things they have in common, the last being a long drawn out, un funny "we're both gay joke. Neo then sings a song for no reason to a picture of a girl on a big screen. Rosie then begins another monologue only to be interrupted by Nancy Grace in a news clip verbally bashing Rosie. Being the classy gal/guy Rosie is, she stops the clip short, only to be suprised by Kathy Griffin, dressed up as nancy Grace. The loud mouth then continues to badger Rosie, mimicking Nancy, showing that if you don't like Rosie, she'll get one of her friends to dress up and make fun of you in prime time, where you can't get in the last word. After the commercial Rosie's stupid door opens up and Harry Connick Jr. comes out wearing a santa hat, and gives away his new Christmas cd to a crowd that doesnt care. He then abruptly starts singing a corny rendition of "It's beginning to look alot like Christmas", where Rosie just stands there next to him and does a queer (no pun intended) dance. Rosie then introduces "Anti-Gravity" a team of talented people that spin in circles and know how to use hula hoops, lassos, and black lights and dance to an awful rendition of You Spin Me Right Round. the audience clearly has no idea what to make of this masterpiece and sit in silence till the commercial begins.
Coming back to the show we see Rosie dressed as Officer Lockstock, a cop, hanging with a little girl named Sally. The two have a painful back and forth, making fun of Donald Trumps hair (original comedy at its finest), explaining why they made this variety show, and screwing up the final joke into the entrance of Alanis Morrisette. Alanis has clearly sold out for this number, with whorish make up and bangs longer than this show will last on television. The song is half in german, the crowd is completely unfamiliar with the song, and claps 3 times throughout thinking shes done. But it seemed he never was. the song was slow and supposedly touching, with a piano and sunrises playing on the video screens behind her; not the best selection for a supposed comedic/entertaining show. More like a funeral, which this show was. Fade to commercial.
Upon the final end of commercial break we seem to find Rosie a little too early for the camera, as she's asking Gloria Estefan if her short is ok, then swinging faceward to the camera to begin another amazingly terrible monologue. Lucky for us fans, it is now a dialogue with her neighbor, Gloria. Rosie explains that Gloria sees herself as kind of a comic, so allows her to tell some Thanksgiving jokes. Bad idea. Gloria botches asking the first joke so bad that Rosie ends it with the obligatory "Ba-Dum-Bum Ladies and Gentleman!" to signify to the crowd to please laugh. Rosie, sensing the ship is going down, attempts to cut Gloria off from telling a second, clearly rehersed joke, saying "We don't need to do two" so they can do a singing number. But Gloria, ever defiant, ignores Rosie's attempt at tells it thru the opening music. Rosie then screams the punchline over the music to try and get more laughs. She should have just started the song, because the song made atleast me laugh out loud. the opening lines go "No football on tv, no parade thats not for me.....I gonna EAT tomorrow!" and grabs her gut. Nothing beats falling into stereotypes on live tv. And with Rosie's angelic voice, I'm not suprised she doesn't have her own holiday cd. The song continues as guys dressed up as cakes, cookies, and ice cream dance their way across the stage. Regardless that Thanksgiving isn't known for any of these treats, it was a visual masterpiece. She then parades out her tap dancing kids, now dressed as cupcakes, as if to say, please f*cking clap for this mess. And if that wasn't great enough, she then incorporates Rachel Ray in a lyric, who comes out from off stage holding a giant cooked turkey by the throat and proceeds to dance across the stage to meet Rosie and Gloria. The music number ends with confetti blowing on the crowd trying to get one last hurrah. Unfortunately no one gives a standing ovation.
The entire show was like watching a train wreck slowly unfold over the course of an hour. The "celebrities" were all has been starlets, obvious friends of Rosie's, trying to get any publicity they could. Think of if your mom and all her friends got drunk and were given a free hour on prime time, and were allowed to sing and dance regardless of talent level or choreography. An utter disaster, I found it hysterical in its Hiroshima-esque bomb. Truly a modern masterpiece and a perfect example of why this woman does not belong on televsion simply because she's gay and rich.