Roswell

Kyle: His mind and body are in deep conflict. When one's heart and one's mind are not in balance, one's body is the first to fail... What? Valenti: I'm very concerned that you're starting to make sense to me. Kyle: All I'm saying is that if the guy can't visualize his journey to the goal, he has no chance of taking the rock downtown.

Isabel: Max. This is, by far, the most pathetic Christmas tree I have ever seen. Did you even refer to my diagram?

Michael: Come on, Maxwell. Just pick a tree. It's freezing out here. Max: It's not so simple. This tree's got to fall within certain parameters. Michael: Parameters? Max: Height, circumference, color, density of foliage. Look at this diagram. You know how Isabel gets this time of year. Michael: The Christmas Nazi, driving everyone insane while trying to have the perfect Christmas. The worst thing you can do is play into it, Max. You've got to fight her. You've got to fight the Christmas Nazi.

Isabel: Hi, everyone. Welcome to this year's holiday pageant. I'm Isabel Evans. Some of you know me as the director of this pageant, others may know me as the president of the hunger drive, and still others might know me from the many holiday events at the nursing home, and some of you know me as...the Christmas Nazi. (she glances accusingly at Max and Michael) But enough about me. Let's feast our eyes on the cutest darn kids in America. Welcome to Roswell's 23rd annual holiday pageant.

Michael: It's a bumper. Isabel: Yes, I see that. Michael: For a Jetta. Isabel: Hmmm. How did what I said yesterday result in this? Michael: It meets all your criteria. It's personal, because I personally know what a bug she has up her ass about how much we screwed up her car. It's thoughtful, because I had to go to the junkyard and get it, and it's something she would never get herself for the obvious reason that her bumper's been hanging from a string for the past half-year. Isabel: Ok, Michael. This is what I'm gonna do. I am going to take the Christmas dog show off my calendar and take you shopping and rectify this situation. Michael: No. I'm not gonna get obsessed over this present. This is fine. I'm not gonna make everyone else around me miserable. Isabel: What are you saying? That I get obsessed and make everyone around me miserable? Michael: I didn't say that.

Tess (to Kyle & Jim Valenti): I have been cooking for 20 hours, while you two have been sitting back on the couch like 2 beached whales, not even noticing or caring that I am living here! Okay. I am here. Hello. Hello? So, since I'm living here, I should have a damn chair to sit in!

Michael: Yes mein Führer. Isabel: What? Michael: What?