Larry: My cousin's built like Sophia Loren. Boy, is he embarrased about it.
Dick: Hey, here's something you don't hear every day...Merry Christmas!
Judy: I don't know why all the fuss about miniskirts. They're only regular skirts cut down to thighs.
Gary: The correct time is now exactly 87 degrees and rising.
Dan: Yes, it's New Talent Time, when Laugh-In offers a showcase for beginners. Dick: Starting with the band!
Dan: Now here's where we have some real fun. Dick: Ah hah! They opened the bar.
Roddy: Gen. DeGaulle, you know, has nuclear weapons pointed in every direction. Dan: Finally found out who is friends are, huh?
Eileen: I just found Adam and Eve were never married. Do you know what that makes all of us?
Flip: I gonna sock it to ya. Mmm-hmm, that's what I gon' do.
Eileen: Yes, Santa Claus, there is a Virginia.
The short bits included John Byner as a bad barber, Henry tying his shoe, Pamela and Dick on a deserted island, Eileen calling a lover trying to get him to come back, Flip yelling that the sky is falling, and Dan playing golf.
This is the first episode this season all the cast members appear together.
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