The Flying Fickle Of Fate Award went to members of the New York Police Department who sleep while on duty.
Goldie: Miss Lollobrigida, could you help me with my Italian?
Gina: Oh, I'll be glad, Goldie. What's his name?
Arte: Believe me, never argue with a barber. All they want to do is split hairs.
Ruth: The Society for the Advancement of Athiesm will meet this Tuesday...God willing.
Tiny Tim: If it wern't for this show, I wouldn't be where I am. But I don't hold that against them.
Goldie: Tiny, which one of us is the opposite sex?
Tiny Tim: How am I supposed to know, Miss Goldie? I've never been out with one.
Goldie: I had a terrible time last night. I took a sleeping pill and i dozed off before i could enjoy it.
The short bits included Dan and Dick as prisoners chained to a wall, the cast in a lifeboat as shipwreck survivors, Ruth as a stripper in a burlesque show, Henry as a plasterer, Trampas and The Virginian at the saloon and scenes at a laundromat.