Roger Abbott |
Various |
Penelope Corrin |
Various |
Don Ferguson |
Various |
Luba Goy |
Various |
Jessica Holmes |
Various |
Craig Lauzon |
Various |
George Stroumboulopoulos |
Self |
Guest Star |
Mike from Canmore: I'm thankful for leaf blowers, so I can dry my hair real quick. I'm thankful for Kraft Dinner, which is an inexpensive way to insulate my garage. I'm thankful for Sundays; it's the only day of the week I get to make pancakes in the nude. I'm thankful for the cold weather, because when Norm comes in after being outside, he doesn't smell as bad. (to Norm) Stay! I'm thankful for our educational system which allowed me to get my Grade Six . . . eventually. I'm thankful for the Canada Goose, which is delicious with Spaghetti-Os. I'm thankful for the Clapper, so I can flush the toilet without getting out of bed. I'm thankful for women who have body piercings so I've got someplace to hang my car keys. But most of all, I'm . . . Mike from Canmore.
Jack Layton: Canada needs a new kind of strong. A new stronger strong with a strongly strengthening strong strength.
News Anchor: Medical wait times have dropped on average from 18 weeks to 17 weeks. Good news, unless you have only four weeks to live.
Elizabeth May: (singing) Hockey is our national sport, and I wouldn't change a thing! Except for the fact that trees are killed to make hockey sticks, Zambonis create greenhouse gas emissions, pucks are made of toxic rubber and the Stanley Cup isn't recyclable! Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing!
Woman: Lead-covered Melamine Bits. Tasty, filling, and you can use the leftovers to make attractive kitchen utensils. They're the perfect mystery Halloween treat, that guarantees the neighbour's kids won't come back for seconds.
Tony Clement: Mr. Harper, our party has been accused of conducting a campaign of fear.
Stephen Harper: Nothing could be further from the truth. But should the Conservative party lose, who would stop the U.S. from invading us, taking our oil, and collapsing Canada into chaos and ruin?
Stephen Harper's hockey anthem contest entry is a parody of the song "Piano Man" by Billy Joel.
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Wednesday
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Thursday
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Friday
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