Rugrats

Charlotte: (To Angelica) If you had a company and you had employees who did things like this, what would you do to them? Angelica: (Sniffles sadly) Are you gonna fire me mommy?

Jonathan: This is our fax machine, it's called "Just the Fax" You know... like the tv show? "Just the facts, ma'am" Business Woman: We think television is evil...

(Angelica has just accidentally triggered a car's alarm.) Car Alarm Voice: Stand back! You are too close to the vehicle! Angelica: Hey mommy, neat! A talking car! Charlotte: That's nice, sweetie. (To Jonathan on phone) What? Not you, Jonathan, you know I wouldn't call one of my employees "sweetie." At least not since the Clarence Thomas hearings. Car Alarm Voice: (In background) Alarm will sound in five seconds, four, three, two, one! (Main car alarm starts blaring) Angelica: Cool!

Howard: (Phil and Lil are destroying the house) If only there were one baby! One mature, responsible, somewhat cowardly baby who would set a good example and tell them it's wrong!

Angel: One day Angelica came along, booted Tommy out, and took over. Chuckie: Well, why didn't anyone stop her? Angel: She just kept yelling and yelling 'til she got her way.

Angel: I'm your gardening angel. I was sent here to make sure you don't do anything dumb. Chuckie: Then where was you the time I got my tongue stucked to that ice cube? Or the time I got my head stuck in the back of that weird-looking chair? Or the time I trapped myself in the birdcage? Angel: Gimme a break! I'm only two, you know.

Charlotte: Jonathan, take down that Maplethorpe and put up that corny Rockwell painting. Yes, the one in the janitor's closet.

Charlotte: Don't we have a day care center, here? Jonathan: Actually, you nixed it. Charlotte: Well, I'm unnixing it! How can a working mother work around here?

Charlotte: Jonathan, you're unfired. As a matter of fact, I'm promoting you. Jonathan: To what? Vice-President? Charlotte: You're the new head of our day-care department. Your first assignment is to take care of Tommy & Angelica while we're at dinner. Angelica: (To Jonathan) We're gonna have lots of fun.

Chuckie: Some men have to be brave! Some men have to be strong! But do you know what? Guardian Angel: What, Chuckie? Chuckie: I think running away's not such a good idea!

Chazz: Socky? Socky: Yeah? Chazz: I wish you were real. Socky: Me, too.

Jonathan: I thought you'd been abducted by eco-terrorists again.