Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

(Thinking of a way to get Salem home) Sabrina: Can we focus? Okay we have five witches and a newt, we should be able to do something? Hilda: I've got it. We all hide inside a giant wooden horse. Zelda: Hmm, that worked so well the last time. Sabrina: What if I use my magic to pop into the house and grab Salem? Zelda: Too risky, if the little boy sees you you're caught. How will you explain it? Sabrina: I wouldn't, I'd just knock him down and run out of there as fast as I could. Hilda: Oh good plan! (after Zelda pokes her in her ribs) Bad plan.

Zelda: Stop it you two. It's Christmas eve and I don't want anymore arguing. Salem, you owe Sabrina an apology. Now! Salem: I'm thinking of how to word it. Hilda: Try 'I'm sorry' Salem: Somehow that just doesn't feel right. Sabrina: Forget it, I don't have time for this. I've gotta meet Harvey at The Slicery but now I've gotta change thanks to you. Salem: Er, since you thanked me, can I ask a favor? Sabrina Excuse me cat? You want a favor? Salem: Yeah. Can I tag along to The Slicery? I've got a touch of cabin fever and I'd really like to.... Sabrina (Interrupting) Are you insane? I wouldn't bring you to The Slicery if you were the last person slash cat on Earth. Salem: Man, what's her problem? Hilda: You are so self centred, even for a cat.

Salem: What's the big deal? There was a mouse, I chased it. End of story. Sabrina: Not end of story. You got me kicked out of The Slicery, the one place I had a little privacy. Salem: Don't talk to me about privacy! I'm the one who has to relieve himself in a box in the middle of the kitchen. Do you know how hard it is to get that far away stare going?

Sabrina: Salem, were you in my closet again? Salem: Yeah, so? Sabrina: You ruined my favorite Christmas sweater! Salem: Yeah, so? Sabrina: It meant a lot to me. Salem: Then you shouldn't have hidden your diary under it. Sabrina: You were reading my diary again? Salem: Yes and it's duller than dish water.

Salem: I'll take some more egg nog and this time don't skimp on the Christmas cheer. Zelda: Oh, no liquor for you Salem. Your little kitty liver can't handle it. Salem: Gimme a break. You know I always get depressed this time of year. Hilda: Why? Salem: Well for one thing, I'M A CAT!