Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Sabrina: Hi Harvey, how's your cake? Harvey: Good; and you know, I didn't just take Home-Ec because Coach told me to, I like to cook. I like it a lot.

(Sabrina has gone to the Slicery to confront Jenny about going on a date with Harvey, but the two have a heart-to-heart where Jenny admits she and Harvey are not a match) Harvey: Are you guys talking about me? Both: Yes Harvey: Come talk about me over here!

Hilda (to Sabrina): Oh no, you look unhappy... Tell Zelda, I can't let you bring me down.

(After eating the truth sprinkles) Teacher (eating): I think I'll skip class. Truth is, I don't wanna be here any more than the kids do.

Sabrina (reading the truth sprinkles recipe): Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Salem: I don't think so, check again. Sabrina: Preheat oven to... 5,000??

Zelda: Every time he makes a date with Hilda, he breaks it. Hilda: He did that once or twice, or maybe a thousand times but may I remind you that every time that Drell has cancelled he has always sent me a lovely token of his affection. Zelda: Yeah, he always sends a pot-roast. Sabrina: A pot-roast? Hilda: Flowers wilt, say it with beef.

Zelda: So why are you home? Sabrina: Because Jenny told me she wanted to be alone with Harvey tonight and I said it was ok. Zelda: And is it, ok? Sabrina: Yeah, I guess... No! No, it's not ok! You know, Harvey and Jenny are alone together. It should be Harvey and me or Jenny and me, but it shouldn't be Harvey and Jenny alone without me. Zelda: So what are you going to do? Sabrina: I'm gonna tell Jenny just what I told you. If I can remember it. Thanks aunt Zelda. Zelda: You're welcome, dear. Sabrina: Oh, and by the way... that dress is really ugly.

Salem: Oh, I wish my fur had an elastic waist band.

Sabrina: Hey, it worked! I pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Rabbit: Hey, put me back! My wife Renée is about to give birth. Sabrina: Oh sorry. Hilda: Relax, that happens a lot with rabbits.

Principal Larue: Attention students, this is the real principal Larue. Last Friday some prankster broke into my office and impersonated me. I, of course, was at the district office all day working to make your school a better place. Thank you.(Sabrina closes her locker not believing a word as feedback whistles for a second, then still on the PA.) Principal Larue: Do you think they bought that? Huh? Oh-no!

Principal Larue: Attention students, this is Principal Larue. I just wanted to announce that as soon as I finish this yummy bundt cake... I'm going to the movie's, like I do every Friday afternoon and I'm payin' for my popcorn with petty cash. Thank you.

Sabrina: Morning Salem. Salem: Maybe for you, I'm having a bad fur day. Sabrina: Poor kitty, what's wrong? Salem: Couldn't sleep last night. I tried reading the most boring thing I could find but not even your diary could do the trick. Sabrina: How'd you read my diary, it's locked? Salem: I picked it with my dew claw. So, who's Harvey?

Mrs. Bozigian: (To the class) Smell your bundts. Smell your neighbor's bundts.

Zelda: Huh! Witchcraft in an MTV world, it's all quick cuts and funny angles. Now we keep our potions regarding openness and truth in a secret cabinet. This is a very special moment. Sabrina: The moment I get to see the secret cabinet? Zelda: Well if you're going to make fun, I wont show it to you. Louisa: Psst! The cabinet's over here. Sabrina: Who said that? Louisa: Me, Louisa, over here Sabrina: Wow, these walls really can talk. Salem: Sometimes they never shut up. Louisa: Don't start with me, cat. I've seen what you do when they're out of the house.

Guidance Counselor: Let me give you the truth Ricky. You kids come in here and talk about your futures, your dreams but what about me? You think I wanted to be a guidance counselor? Heck no, I was born to play the blues. (He pulls a mouth organ from his top pocket and accompanies himself.) Guidance Counselor: (singing the blues) I got no future, and neither do you, your SAT score is 432! Welcome to Loserville!