Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Margie: I got us tickets to the circus. You love the circus, right? Miles: Actually, clowns terrify me. Margie: Don't be ridiculous, you'll have a great time. Trust me.

Sabrina: He's just pretending to feel good so I don't feel bad. Well I'm not going to rest until she admits that she feels bad so I can start feeling good! Or something like that.

Zelda: Hilda, not only did I not get the award, I got fired. Hilda: Well that puts a dampener on the rest of the party.

Zelda: I can't think of a more wonderful honor! Hilda: You said the same thing when you won Rum Runner of the Year during prohibition.

Miles: You're saying that you can set me up with my dream girl? Hilda: Yes siree Bob! It's one of the perks of being a nosey, intrusive yenta.

Hilda: If you ever want to land a girlfriend, you're going to need professional help. Miles: The psychiatrists have washed their hands of me. They say I'm a downer.

Miles: I've been staring at her long enough. The faster I ask her out, the faster I get rejected and begin the healing process. Sabrina: It's that air of confidence that women find so irresistible.

Sabrina: Professor Beltran is the head of the nominating committee for Professor of the Year award. Roxie: You're kind of a long shot, not being a teacher and all. Sabrina: Not for me! For my aunt Zelda. She's the best teacher at this college, and I'm not just saying that because my name's plastered all over her will.

Professor Beltran: And so the guy says 'That's no gross national product, that's my wife!' Sabrina: Now that's funny! There is nothing I like more than a good supply side economics joke!