Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Season 3 Episode 1

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad Season Opener

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Sep 25, 1998 on ABC
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Episode Summary

As Sabrina has a hard time choosing between Harvey and Dashiell, her aunts tell her that she finally received her Witch's License. Ecstatic at finding this out, Sabrina thinks that she can use it to help her decide which guy she wants to continue dating. However, when she goes to the Other Realm License Bureau to get her license, Sabrina gets annoyed when she finds out that she can't use it until she solves her family secret. Meanwhile, after Salem insults an online friend while playing chess, he gets an unexpected visit from the man, looking to do bodily harm to the cat.moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • Which one should she choose?

    Sabrina finally earns her witch's license, which will grant her all the knowlege in the world. Sabrina hopes to use it to choose between the boys. However, it has a spell, so Sabrina can't use it until she finds out her family secret. Her family members will visit to help her uncover it. Meanwhile, her romantic dilemma continues as Sabrina has to choose between Harvey and Dashiell. She casts a spell to reveal who her heart wants. As always, it takes a turn for the worst when the two boys start fighting in the middle of the high school. When Sabrina's cousin Doris shows up to help her with the family secret, Sabrina makes her mad and she starts spreading slime. Sabrina only has time to save one of the boys...moreless
Melissa Joan Hart

Melissa Joan Hart

Sabrina J. Spellman

Caroline Rhea

Caroline Rhea

Hilda Antoinette Spellman

Beth Broderick

Beth Broderick

Zelda Spellman

Martin Mull

Martin Mull

Willard Kraft

Lindsay Sloane

Lindsay Sloane

Valerie Birkhead

Nate Richert

Nate Richert

Harvey Dwight Kinkle (recurring in season 5-7)

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (4)

    • In the beginning of season two, it is mentioned that Sabrina won't get her full license for a year, but since season three is the same school year as the last season, she shouldn't have gotten her license until season four.

    • In this episode, Sabrina meets her cousin Doris. Her name tag says that her whole name is "Doris West".

    • In this episode we learn that Salem can talk, read, and write, but he can not type though he can play computer chess.

    • Sabrina is supposed to turn 18 in this episode and start her senior year, but nothing is mentioned of how old she is and she remains a junior.

  • QUOTES (9)

    • Sabrina: Valerie, has anything been weird in the cafeteria?
      Valerie: The milk is fresh today...

    • Salem: My dear sweet, if not simple, Sabrina. Haven't you learned anything from years being under my tutelage?
      Sabrina: That squirrels are meaner than they look?

    • Sabrina: I can't believe this. You're telling me I can't use my license at all? That means I have to decide between Harvey and Dashiell on my own? Like a normal teenager???

    • Salem: Sabrina, an Albanian potato farmer's wopping me in chess. You gotta help me. I hate to lose.
      Sabrina: Sorry Salem, I don't know how to play chess, so I guess you're just gonna have to accept your fate and learn to lose with some dignity.
      Salem: Would you at least help me type in my response? "Dear Yuri, you have a big nose."
      Sabrina: Salem, I'm not typing that!
      Salem: You didn't let me finish. I was gonna say "You have a big nose, for an ignorant monkey."

    • Zelda: That was Mr. Kraft. He wants us to chaperone the dance with him friday night. I told him we'd love to.
      Hilda: Oh no... Me and Willard Kraft at a dimly-lit dance together? Uh... You know what that means...
      Salem: A stolen moment in the janitor's closet?
      Hilda: No! Means I'll have to spend my whole evening avoiding him. Which means no time to make fun of how the awkward kids dance.
      Zelda: I may have the answer to your troubles. What if I asked him to be my date?
      Hilda: I couldn't ask you to do that...
      Zelda: Well, actually I... find him attractive...
      Hilda: Oh no! Salem, Zelda has a brain lesion!

    • Salem (to frozen Harvey and Dashiell): You two remind me of first wife on our honeymoon...

    • Sabrina: I'm a little nervous about getting my Witch's Licence. I wish you guys could go with me.
      Hilda: I know, but parents and guardians have been banned ever since the invention of the cam-corder.

    • Harvey: Right! You're just making excuses because you missed an easy shot.
      Sabrina: I chose not to hit the golf-ball in the giant clown's mouth because I didn't want to cause internal injuries.

    • Doris: Are you saying you don't like my workmanship?
      Zelda: Doris, calm down. Sabrina didn't mean...
      Doris: Because when people don't like my woekmanship I get angry and when I get angry I... (a spurt of slime comes out her fingers and squirts a man)

  • NOTES (3)


    • Mr. Kraft tells Sabrina to choose Billy Jack as the movie theme for the ball.

      Billy Jack is the second, and highest grossing, in a series of motion pictures centering on a fictional character of the same name, played by Tom Laughlin.

    • The episode title alludes to the 1963 movie, "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World."