Hilda Antoinette Spellman
Harvey Dwight Kinkle (recurring in season 5-7)
For the second time this season, Mr. Kraft discusses his liking for the series of Billy Jack movies.
In this episode it is seen that Jerry Springer is a witch. It's proved when he says: "Now, we as witches..."
Zelda (to Mr. Kraft): Well, let me tell you something. I... I got you cable in that garage. What am I doing? I'm groveling... I'm debasing myself for a man. I sound like Hilda!
Sabrina (to Harvey): If it's any consolation at this difficult time, you lost!
(On the Jerry Springer show)
Hilda: Oh, would everybody just- (bleep blocks her out)
Sabrina (to Jerry): She's not swearing...
Jerry: I know, but this way it sounds like she did!
Salem: I hope you've learned your lesson. You claimed you and Sabrina were helping Zelda, when in fact, you were just helping you and Sabrina.
Hilda: You did the same thing with Silky. You weren't training him to help Silky. It was all for Salem.
Salem (surrounded by meat): I guess we were both being selfish. Of course, in my case, it worked out!
Hilda: You know, everyone laughs at that show but when you're on it something just takes over.
Salem: Silky boy! Dumb dog, he should be back by now. If he ran across a tennis ball I'm doomed.
Sabrina: Aunt Hilda and I brought her back. We had to! He did yoga in a uni-tard!
Mr. Kraft: Shall I carry you, dear?
Lucy: No, not this time.
Zelda: You know he calls me Zoo-Zoo.
Mr. Kraft: I do?
Zelda: Yes, and I call you Monkey.
Lucy: Like some godless hairy primate?
Zelda: No, like a cute little monkey with big eyes... and now he answers to Poo. There's a trade-up...
Hilda: This break up was bound to happen sooner or later and let's face it, the sooner the break up, the less pain. For us!
Lucy: Well, if you'll excuse us I think a certain Willy-poo has a dinner to make.
Lucy: Is it just me or are men getting less obedient than they used to be?
Harvey: Hey Valerie, I made an appointment at a portrait studio and I've the perfect way to get Sabrina there and keep it a surprise. I'll tell her a war has broken out and I have to take her to a secret bomb shelter.
Valerie: Or you could just blindfold her and tell her it's a surprise.
Harvey: Ok... So much for the sound-effect tapes I've been making.
Mr. Kraft: Ooh, whoo-hoo. Boy, I shouldn't wait a week to irrigate my ears.
Sabrina: So, why did you two split up?
Lucy: Why does any relationship go bad? Maybe I shouldn't have turned him into a beast of burden or made out with his best friend Dexter.
Sabrina: So we'd just be getting Mr. Kraft out of here for aunt Zelda's own good.
Hilda: Absolutely, someday she'll thank us. Should we poison him?
Sabrina: Don't you think that's a little harsh?
Hilda: Love lifts them up where they belong?
Sabrina: I knew he was bothering you!
Hilda: Just breath and let it go Sabrina.
Mr. Kraft: Oh, you can call me uncle Willard too, Hilda. (He leaves.)
Hilda: He must be destroyed!
Sabrina: I can't take it anymore! Our house has become the Smithsonian of his toenail clippings. Ugh! Isn't he driving you crazy?
Hilda: I have made a personal choice not to be affected by Willard Kraft.
Sabrina: He used your tooth brush.
Hilda (fighting back her anger): Deep cleansing breath...
Sabrina: Shame on you, Salem! Silky thinks he's your friend and you're just using him for your own pleasure.
Salem: I thought that was the point of dogs?
Sabrina: Salem, I have a few questions about carbon monoxide, garage apartments and making something look like an accident.
Harvey: Do you think Sabrina would like some car mats?
Valerie: That's not the greatest gift idea when you don't have a car. You know what? It's not the greatest gift idea when you do have a car.
Mr. Kraft: I warned you to roll up your windows when we hit school property.
Sabrina: But you didn't say it was because students pelt you with garbage!
Mr. Kraft: I thought that was implied.
Valerie (about Sabrina): So what surprise are you gonna get her?
Harvey: I thought the biggest surprise might be no surprise.
Valerie: So what you're saying is you need my help?
Hilda: Oh sure, I had issues with my sister dating a man who is still hopelessly in love with me, but then I just decided to let it go.
Sabrina: I'm really glad aunt Zelda has found a boyfriend, but couldn't it have been a mammal?
Salem: Right where you're sitting, Zelda was making goo-goo eyes with the Casanova of the hall-pass, Willard Kraft.
Harvey: Is Mr. Kraft still dating your aunt Zelda?
Sabrina: No. See? I'm in denial about it.
Jennifer Paige - "Crush"
Mr.Kraft: Zelda, you complete me.
Reference to the movie Jerry Maguire, where the line "you complete me" was first heard. The phrase was spoken by Renée Zellweger's character, Dorothy Boyd.
Mr. Kraft: That is if you think you can handle the bittersweet anarchy of Billy Jack Goes to Washington...
Billy Jack Goes to Washington is a 1977 film starring Tom Laughlin. It is the fourth and last film in the Billy Jack series. The film only saw limited screenings upon its release and never saw a general theatrical release, but has since become widely available on DVD. It is often cited in lists of the worst films of all time.
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