Sabrina J. Spellman
Hilda Antoinette Spellman
Harvey Dwight Kinkle (recurring in season 5-7)
Salem Saberhagen, the Cat (voice)
Based on this episode, Libby is allergic to cats (as her allergy is how Sabrina and Salem escape from her nose). Yet in the episode When Teens Collide, Libby likes cats and holds Salem in her arms.
(Sabrina is talking for Libby)
Libby: The alumni money really should've gone to... (Mrs. Quick stands up, Sabrina takes Libby's talk receptor out of her head)
Salem: Do it. Say it and let's go home. What are you waiting for?
Sabrina: I can't. The change has to come from inside Libby.
Salem: We ARE inside Libby!
(Hilda is on a walkie-talkie with Sabrina)
Hilda: Breaker-breaker, this is Kitchen Mama calling. Sabrina, what do you want your handle to be?
Sabrina: Aunt Hilda!
Hilda: Okay, Aunt Hilda, I found a way for you to get out.
Libby: Why is everyone looking at me like I'm a weirdo? I'm telling you the throne made me do those things. It's evil! And it's poorly upholstered. Take it away.
Zelda: You are the most annoying man I have met in my entire life. I never want to hear you, see you or in anyway sense you ever again.
Mr. Kraft: OK, I am getting the feeling that you are upset.
Harvey: My aftershave gives my mom a headache too. I got it free when I bought tires.
Salem: I'm glad we arrived in Libby's brain early. We got really good seats.
Salem: I saw a special about this on the witches Discovery Channel.
Sabrina: So witches get stuck in mortal brains a lot?
Salem: Not as much as the witch media hypes it, but it does happen.
Libby: Perfect, no Sabrina and a bug flies up my nose. As always it's been a lovely afternoon at the Spellman house.
Hilda: Next time call first. (Libby leaves) Give us a chance to move.
Hilda (on the phone): Yes, I'd like to order a one pound box of your annoyance amplifier chocolates. Yep, I'll take some "His voice makes my skin crawl" and give me four of "He dresses like a polka band leader".
Hilda: I'm trying to find a potion that will make Zelda realise how awful Willard really is. Then she'll break up with him and he can get back to the painful but necessary task of getting over me.
Mr. Kraft: Attention everybody! Your suggestions on how to spend the alumni money were surpassed in their dullness only by their lack of grammatical accuracy. In fact, the only one that had any merit was the suggestion that we buy a new throne for the Homecoming Queen, submitted by the Homecoming Queen.
Zelda: There's a sweet, kind, intellectual side to Willard that he almost never shows.
Hilda: Yeah, usually he's just a big jackass.
Sabrina: We could have famous poets come and read their work.
Harvey: Cool! So they're not all dead?
Sabrina: So have you come up with any suggestions on how to spend the money the Alumni Board donated?
Harvey: How about a candy machine in the cafeteria?
Sabrina: We already have one.
Harvey: Well I'm good then.
Zelda: I just love that new Other Realm grocery.
Hilda: Yeah, if there are more than three people in line, they just clone the cashier.
Salem: What did you bring us?
Zelda (Pulling out a box of cereal and reading the name): "Honey Frosted Fruity Coco Sugar Clumps made with real candy".
Salem: But I asked for something sweet...
Hilda (Pulling something out of the bag to give to Sabrina): And for you...
Sabrina: Bubble gum? So this is all part of a nutritious breakfast?
Salem: I don't believe it! (Reading) "Send in just five hundred box-tops and get a genuine replica of the Epsilon 3 free".
Sabrina: Will anyone join me in saying "Who cares?" (She unwraps her gum)
Zelda: The Epsilon 3 was the first spaceship ever used in an Other Realm/Earth landing.
Salem: I must have that spaceship!
Hilda: Well it'll take five hundred boxes and you're a cat without a job.
Salem: Then I'd better start crunchin'.
Sabrina: I've never had Other Realm gum before, this grape is pretty good.
Hilda: But it can be pretty loud.
(Sabrina pops the gum and a building collapses)
(Sabrina and Salem are sucked into Salem's mini ship)
Salem: We're inside the ship! We're inside the ship!
Sabrina: Get us out of the ship! Get us out of the ship!
Sabrina: Look, there's Libby's eye! It's the window to whatever she has instead of a soul.
Salem: Libby is twitching like a Central Park squirrel.
Sabrina: Salem and I are in Libby's brain!
Hilda: I would've picked Aruba but okay.
Fastball - "Sooner Or Later"
Valerie does not appear in this episode.
Mr. Kraft (to Sabrina about the poetry bash): How will you lose? Oh let me count the ways.
This is a reference to the first line of the famous poem Sonnet 43 by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."
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