Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Season 2 Episode 22

Quiz Show

Aired Friday 8:30 PM Apr 17, 1998 on ABC
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Episode Summary

When Sabrina inadvertently complains about her Quizmaster's teaching methods to a woman who turns out to be his boss, the Witches' Council rules that he be reassigned to a new pupil, the obnoxious Ralph. Sabrina, who is in the midst of cramming for her hardest magic test to date, finds herself being taught at home by her less-than-scholarly Aunt Hilda, while Zelda substitutes for her chemistry teacher at school.moreless

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Melissa Joan Hart

Melissa Joan Hart

Sabrina J. Spellman

Caroline Rhea

Caroline Rhea

Hilda Antoinette Spellman

Beth Broderick

Beth Broderick

Zelda Spellman

Nate Richert

Nate Richert

Harvey Dwight Kinkle (recurring in season 5-7)

Alimi Ballard

Alimi Ballard

Albert, the Quizmaster (recurring Season 2)

Jenna Leigh Green

Jenna Leigh Green

Libby Chessler

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (5)

  • QUOTES (17)

    • Hilda: I can't believe I finally figured out how to do it and I can't explain it!
      Salem: Might I suggest the fine art of shadow puppets.

    • Quizmaster: I'm not quizzing Ralph anymore.
      Sabrina: Why not? He was the perfect student.
      Quizmaster: I know, he was too perfect. I missed you and how you always loathed seeing me. I think maybe I got self-esteem issues.
      Sabrina: This is great! I mean, not your self-hatred.

    • Sabrina: I figured out why I need my quizmaster back!
      Judge: You know, you can't just barge in here assuming we have nothing to do. (Tumbleweed rolls through room) Proceed.

    • Hilda: I know you can do it, you're just not thinking!
      Sabrina: Of course I'm thinking! I'm talking, aren't I? Don't you have to think to be able to talk?
      Hilda: No, parrots talk.
      Sabrina: Oh, I'm a parrot, I'm as dumb as a bird, is that it?
      Hilda: That's not what I meant! And parrots aren't dumb. At the zoo they ride bicycles!

    • Hilda: To turn yourself into fire, you just have to think like fire!
      Sabrina: Well, that's helpful! I'm really enjoying vague university!

    • Hilda: I think I'm turning into wind... I feel a little breeze!
      Salem: That's just the life going out of us.

    • Sabrina: Congratulations! How does it feel to be the most brilliant person in the universe?! (Stalks away)
      Quizmaster: You'd think it'd pay more!

    • Sabrina: I'm so at peace with what's happened between me and the Quizmaster. I believe everything happens for a reason.
      Salem: That's why we call this stage denial...

    • Zelda: Hi honey, how was your tea?
      Sabrina: Oh, pretty average, you know. There was music, little sandwiches, tea, of course, oh and I got my Quizmaster fired!
      Salem: What kind of sandwiches?

    • Sabrina: Who's that?
      Quizmaster: That's the Head Quizmaster. I think her official title is "the person who can fire your butt"!

    • Quizmaster: Sabrina! There was a student who turned herself into fire while drinking a glass of water! That was incredible!
      Sabrina: Darn... It's amazing the things you miss when you're desperately trying to avoid you.

    • Sabrina: I can turn myself into water...
      Quizmaster: Anybody can do that. You see that waiter there? Those aren't cocktails, that's a tray full of students!
      Sabrina: Aww! I don't even wanna know what the crab cakes were...

    • Sabrina: I gotta get away from my quizmaster, or as I like to call him "if evil had a face!"

    • Hilda: I've got it! I remember how to turn myself into fire.
      Salem: If it involves dried branches and kerosene, it's not really magic.

    • Libby: Oh dear Lord, I just hugged a teacher.
      Sabrina: Great! Well, I can never touch aunt Zelda again.

    • Hilda: I just haven't turned myself into wind in years.
      Salem: Would cabbage help?

    • Sabrina: Your name is Albert? You never told me your name was Albert!
      Quizmaster: You never asked!
      Sabrina: Well that's not fair. I just assumed your name was Quizmaster and that fact that it was also your job just was a happy accident.

  • NOTES (2)


    • The title may allude to the 1994 film Quiz Show, about the Twenty One quiz show scandal. Sabrina started quite the scandal, herself, as she got her Quizmaster in trouble.