Sabrina J. Spellman
Hilda Antoinette Spellman
Harvey Dwight Kinkle (recurring in season 5-7)
Albert, the Quizmaster (recurring Season 2)
Sabrina mentions to the head Quizmaster that it wasn't her that had badmouthed her Quizmaster, it was her evil twin. This foreshadows the season 3 episode "The Good, the Bad and the Luau" when she discovers that she actually has an evil twin.
Zelda substitute teaching Sabrina's chemistry class at her highschool in this episode, foreshadows her eventually becoming a full-time chemistry teacher at her college during season 5.
The Quizmaster's official number is 72469.
In this episode the Quizmaster assigns Sabrina to turn herself into fire, wind, and water.
Sabrina finds out that her Quizmaster's name is Albert.
Hilda: I can't believe I finally figured out how to do it and I can't explain it!
Salem: Might I suggest the fine art of shadow puppets.
Quizmaster: I'm not quizzing Ralph anymore.
Sabrina: Why not? He was the perfect student.
Quizmaster: I know, he was too perfect. I missed you and how you always loathed seeing me. I think maybe I got self-esteem issues.
Sabrina: This is great! I mean, not your self-hatred.
Sabrina: I figured out why I need my quizmaster back!
Judge: You know, you can't just barge in here assuming we have nothing to do. (Tumbleweed rolls through room) Proceed.
Hilda: I know you can do it, you're just not thinking!
Sabrina: Of course I'm thinking! I'm talking, aren't I? Don't you have to think to be able to talk?
Hilda: No, parrots talk.
Sabrina: Oh, I'm a parrot, I'm as dumb as a bird, is that it?
Hilda: That's not what I meant! And parrots aren't dumb. At the zoo they ride bicycles!
Hilda: To turn yourself into fire, you just have to think like fire!
Sabrina: Well, that's helpful! I'm really enjoying vague university!
Hilda: I think I'm turning into wind... I feel a little breeze!
Salem: That's just the life going out of us.
Sabrina: Congratulations! How does it feel to be the most brilliant person in the universe?! (Stalks away)
Quizmaster: You'd think it'd pay more!
Sabrina: I'm so at peace with what's happened between me and the Quizmaster. I believe everything happens for a reason.
Salem: That's why we call this stage denial...
Zelda: Hi honey, how was your tea?
Sabrina: Oh, pretty average, you know. There was music, little sandwiches, tea, of course, oh and I got my Quizmaster fired!
Salem: What kind of sandwiches?
Sabrina: Who's that?
Quizmaster: That's the Head Quizmaster. I think her official title is "the person who can fire your butt"!
Quizmaster: Sabrina! There was a student who turned herself into fire while drinking a glass of water! That was incredible!
Sabrina: Darn... It's amazing the things you miss when you're desperately trying to avoid you.
Sabrina: I can turn myself into water...
Quizmaster: Anybody can do that. You see that waiter there? Those aren't cocktails, that's a tray full of students!
Sabrina: Aww! I don't even wanna know what the crab cakes were...
Sabrina: I gotta get away from my quizmaster, or as I like to call him "if evil had a face!"
Hilda: I've got it! I remember how to turn myself into fire.
Salem: If it involves dried branches and kerosene, it's not really magic.
Libby: Oh dear Lord, I just hugged a teacher.
Sabrina: Great! Well, I can never touch aunt Zelda again.
Hilda: I just haven't turned myself into wind in years.
Salem: Would cabbage help?
Sabrina: Your name is Albert? You never told me your name was Albert!
Quizmaster: You never asked!
Sabrina: Well that's not fair. I just assumed your name was Quizmaster and that fact that it was also your job just was a happy accident.
"The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand
Valerie and Mr. Kraft do not appear in this episode.
The title may allude to the 1994 film Quiz Show, about the Twenty One quiz show scandal. Sabrina started quite the scandal, herself, as she got her Quizmaster in trouble.
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