Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Marigold: Where's Emil? Amanda: Hair clog emergency somewhere?

Salem: I'm too young to be a chew toy!

Emil: I can't believe I didn't bring any pictures of my boys. Oh they're great. I mean they are a handful but I wouldn't trade them... I'd sell them!

Marigold: Oh don't worry, they'll be little angels if I ask them to be. Sabrina: How come you never asked them before?

Mr. Kraft: I'll have the fourteen ounce sirloin. Carlton: And I'll have the sixteen ounce sirloin. Mr. Kraft: You didn't let me finish. To start... Now tell me about your hams.

Hilda: Carlton, this is my sister Zelda and this is her geezer, I mean boyfriend, Willard. Carlton: Well, nice to meet you Zellie, and I had no idea that this old sack belonged to you. Hey, no hard feelings, eh Wilbur? Mr. Kraft: It's Willard. Carlton: Course it is.

Sabrina: There's nothing I like to do more on Valentine's day than spend it cooking a gourmet meal for distant relatives and the people who fix our house!

Robby: Dad! Emil: Right! He's so small, I'm always losing him.

Marigold: You girls are not gonna believe this, but your mother actually did manual labour. Amanda: No!

Emil: Well, the bathroom is all fixed, just don't use the toilet. Ever.

Emil: You know, this would go a lot easier if you gave me a hand. Marigold (Laughs): Oh! You weren't kidding. No. No, I don't do tools. Emil: Come on, it'll be something you can tell your grandchildren.

Amanda: Last one to zap him into a snowman is a rotten egg! Sabrina: New game, all the kids are playing it. Gotta go.

Sabrina: You guys can't leave me alone with cousin Marigold! She's like a repressed memory waiting to happen!

Sabrina: Oh no! Cousin Marigold and her kids are coming by to discuss the family secret! Hilda: Better hurry before... Paris closes! Zelda: I'd stay but... I don't like them.

Zelda: Salem, this hair growth tonic you ordered is actually corn bread batter. Salem: They wouldn't sell it if it didn't work. Keep stirring.

Sabrina: Those two would make a cute couple. Harvey: Isn't there a rule about lunch ladies dating students?

Zelda: Cupid may wear a diaper but he's no fool.

Zelda: It looks like somebody has made Cupid angry. Sabrina: Well, he is a lonely, bitter man. (Reading) "Sabrina, because you meddled in the laws of love and tried to break up your aunt Zelda and Mr. Kraft..." How does he know that? Zelda: It's Cupid's job to know those things... and I might have mentioned it to him at a cocktail party. Sabrina (Reading): "You must help two people fall in love by Valentine's day or spend weekends picking up trash along the Other Realm Interstate." Eww! I don't want to spend my time chained to a bunch of drunks in orange jump suits! Zelda: Well they're not all drunks... Some are murderers.

Sabrina: Do you think Harvey and I might be soulmates? Salem: Depends, would you still love him if he was bald? Sabrina: Of course, unless he did that weird comb-over thing.

Sabrina (reading): "Roses are red, violets are blue. You remind me of primordial goo." And they said I couldn't find a card for Libby!

Amanda: Plunger boy is going down! Ally: Way down!

Ally (about Robby): Please, let me turn him into a salamander. Sabrina: No, not until you're old enough to use vindictive magic responsibly.