Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

(Everyone panics because of a tornado in the school hallway) Harvey: Come on! Aren't you gonna help? Sabrina: A tornado is just like a cold, you just have to let it ride its course!

Sabrina (reading a fan letter): "I love your show. Is it hard to drool that much while you're sleeping?" Gross!

Sabrina: I'm on TV? People are probably watching this right now! And I'm wearing a shrubbery!

Hilda: My husband says marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence! Sabrina: Husband? Zelda: It's a long story.

Sabrina: Well, I'm against teen pregnancy, but for you juggling steak knives. Salem: At least she exited with a joke.

(After hearing Sabrina speak in Japanese) Harvey: I didn't know Sabrina can speak Japanese! Mr. Kraft: Yes, it's part of every safety monitor's training.

Sabrina: Please let it be the sophomore with the glandular problem. Salem: Is it the fat kid?

Sabrina: See, except for a few cases of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, we're all going to be okay!

Sid Wolff: I haven't has this much conflict with a star since Gentle Ben!

Zelda: I paid a little visit to your TV producer. My outfit made him kinda nervous, so he made me a deal. If I didn't kill him he'd cancel Sabrina's World. Sabrina: But I thought you didn't actually kill people? Zelda: Well I don't, but I sort of mumbled his bad news and he thought I said he was going to die. Sabrina: What was the news? Zelda: He was going to get a bad piece of pie.

Bryce: Hilda, I know something's wrong. I don't think you even have laryngitis. I think it was all a bald-faced lie. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be short. Hilda: Short?! You're so short, when it rains you're the last to know! You can milk a cow standing up. And bald?! You're so bald an eagle tried to hatch your head! You know what? There's a cure for baldness, it's called hair!

Sabrina: A French dinosaur. I only wish this was the strangest thing I've ever encountered.

Mr. Kraft: If I don't make it out of here, give this to my lawyer. (hands Harvey a letter) Harvey (reading): It's a declaration of love! Mr. Kraft (snatching it back): Oh that's for Sandra Bullock.

Sid: I haven't had a hit since "Make Room for Nostradamus". Salem: I found that show very predictable.

Hilda: Zelda, there's something that I haven't told you about Bryce. He's short. Really short. Why he's so short he has to reach up to tie his shoes!

Harvey: Guess what, after school the mayor's gonna give me a medal. You wanna ride in the limo with me? Sabrina: Harvey, do you mind? We were having a conversation about jello. (to Mrs. Quick) I'm a lime girl myself.

Libby: Mrs. Quick, I can't see because of the glare from Sabrina's sash. (everyone laughs) Mrs. Quick: Class please, I don't want to hear anyone making fun of how stupid Sabrina looks.