Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Hilda: Now for the bad news. Because of the time change from Ancient Rome, it's time for you to go to school. Sabrina: What? The sleep I get in school is never as good as the sleep I get in a bed!

Sabrina: If you'll excuse me now, I think I'm gonna faint. Hilda: No, she does not need mouth to mouth...

Roland (talking to Sabrina): So let's just hope next time we meet it's not because there's a price on your head pretty lady.

Salem: This voice used to bark orders at a legion of mercenaries. Now it begs two old maids for catnip!

Harvey: I think I need a nap. Sabrina: I recommend the desks in language lab.

Mr. Kraft: I blame that carrot topped weasel, Gordie. Mother always said that freckles are the devil's fresco.

Hilda: You know, you really should thank Roland for talking you into turning yourself in. Roland: Oh, no thanks needed. I did it for the love of a good woman. Sabrina: Oh so you met someone?

Zelda: Remember Sabrina, lions can smell fear. Sabrina: Oh, so bravery will cover the smell of my tender flesh?!

Witch Judge: Sabrina, we find you guilty of releasing a witch familiar who is wreaking havoc on the world. But since this is Rome, let's do as the Romans do. Sabrina (Hopefully): Speak Latin? Witch Judge: No, throw her to the lions!

Witch Judge: Silence! The trials begin. Now who smuggled this miscreant into the mortal realm? Zelda: We didn't! Hilda: He stowed away! Witch Judge: Is this true? Caligula: Maybe, but your honour, speaking man to man... they wanted me.

Bounty Hunter #1: You let Charlie Toga-Party exit the Other Realm and his time period. Bounty Hunter #2: The last time he got loose the sixties happened.

Sabrina: Roland! Roland! Oh Mr. Leprechaun! Harvey: Ah ha! So now it's Mr. Leprechaun! Wait a minute, Mr. Leprechaun?

Harvey (about Sabrina): What did you say to her? Roland: None of your milk fed business, farm boy. (leaves) Harvey: This may not be a family I want to marry into.

Sabrina: Gordie! Gordie! Harvey: OK! I'm not imagining it. You're calling out Gordie's name in the hall. Why are you so interested in him? Sabrina: He owes me money? Oh, will you check the boys' room for me?

Roland: Is there a problem here, farm boy? I need to talk to Sabrina. Harvey: What's your cousin doing here? Sabrina: Updating me on my uncle. We'll be right back.

Zelda: Judging from the debauchery, I'd say we were in ancient Rome. Hilda: Either that or it's superbowl week.

Valerie: Sabrina, I think Gordie just hit puberty.

Mr. Kraft: Vote for Mr. Kraft... or else. I thought of that slogan myself.

Salem: This isn't just an info-mercial, it's info-truth!

Sabrina: Roland, how can I put this without hurting your feelings? You sicken me!

Roland: You know, after a lot of therapy, I've finally figured out why you and I never clicked. Sabrina: Your personality?

Sabrina: What a day! I was playing matchmaker for Valerie and Gordie, which is like the low self esteem Olympics and Libby is politicking for the known evil called Willard Kraft. Salem: And yet, you're not a cat. Sabrina: Did I mention I almost choked on a dandy?

Sabrina: Hey Gordie! Did you see that St. Patrick's day dance poster? You know Val loves to dance. In fact, she loves to be asked to dance. Gordie: Mr. Kraft needs milk!

Valerie (about Gordie): Look, I've got to know him since I started orchestra. He's sort of the Kevin Costner of the string section.

Mr. Kraft: Gordie, would you get me a few gallons of milk please? Gordie: Oh but I have violin practice. Mr. Kraft: Running my errands comes before rock and roll.

Hilda: The day is alive with the wonder of Wednesday! Salem: Urgh, to me it's just another day with eight nipples.

Sabrina: You mean I blew my last wish? What am I gonna do? Salem's not only taking over the school, I think he skipped French!

Caligula: I'm just like Dr. Pepper, so misunderstood... Zelda: Caligula, now why on Earth would you sneak home with us?

Salem (as Gordie): I'll be good, cross my gawky adolescent heart.