Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

(after the personalities have been switched) Libby: Hi guys! I'm gonna go get some dessert, anybody wants some? My treat... Valerie: Sure, that's so nice of you, thanks. Sabrina (to Valerie): Oh, why don't you just marry her?

Zelda: Don't worry, we'll both be charming and they will love you for who you are. Hilda: Like that's ever worked before...

Witch Judge: Any last words? Sabrina: Nanny nanny boo boo?

Witch Judge: You have anything to say before sentence is passed? Sabrina: Your wig looks silly!

Libby: Are we playing a game? Sabrina (laughs): What a dweeb!

Harvey: I'm confused. Zelda: Take it from someone older and wiser. You're going to spend most of your life confused.

Salem: Why did I talk her into it? I want my old Sabrina back. The one who used to make me feel all safe and loved. (Sobs) Maybe that Libby girl is downstairs. She's got a gentle touch and it... Wait a minute! (Thinks of a caring Libby stroking him.) Libby? (Remembers Sabrina plotting and scheming to rule the world.) Sabrina? But that's not right! (The image of Libby dissolves and reforms as a loving image of Sabrina gently stroking him and smiling.) Sabrina? (The image of the plotting Sabrina dissolves into an image of Libby laughing maniacally.) Libby! That's it! Sunspots! All of Sabrina's goodness has somehow gotten into Libby and vice-versa! I have to get to that trial. But how? I can't open the door. (Sobs) Maybe I can use molecular instability to crash my way through it.

Sabrina: All right! If there's opposition, we crush it! Revolutionaries: Yeah! Sabrina: If there's resistance, we demolish it! Revolutionaries: Yeah! Salem: If there's fish, we eat it! Zelda (Off Screen): Sabrina! You've got visitors! Sabrina (to Salem): See who it is and get rid of them. Salem: Right! How? I'm a house cat. Sabrina: You have teeth, don't you? Salem: Wow! I love a woman who can take charge.

Salem: Whoa! Halt! Alto! You're stuffing my salmon into your book bag? That red, flaky sauker is all I have to live for! Sabrina: Sorry Salem, all the clubs at school are collecting canned goods for the food drive. Salem: You know Sabrina, charity begins at home. In fact, in my mind it begins in the cat-dish. (Sabrina zaps him a whole fish) A whole fish! Oh you're a good witch, Sabrina. If there were another cat in the house, I'd share it. Sabrina: Well, there's always Fluffy next door. Salem (With his mouth full): Hm! Yeah! Yeah! I'll get right on it.

Valerie: So what are you gonna do to Libby? Yell at her? Insult her in front of the whole school? Sabrina: No. I'm just gonna talk to her nice and explain to her that competition is not in the spirit of charity. Valerie: And then whack her with a can?

Salem (Eating his pizza): Aww, double cheese, double toppings, what was I thinking?

(When Zelda begins to say a spell) Hilda: No spells in front of the m-o-r-t-a-l-s. Zelda: Right! Then we'll just have to do it the old-fashioned way. (bumps Sabrina and Libby into one another)

Zelda: I object! Witch Judge: On what grounds? Hilda: On the grounds that you're mean!

Zelda: Sabrina, I don't understand. What's gotten into you? Sabrina: I want a lawyer!

Sabrina: Anything for two wonderful aunts. (Walks away) Sabrina: Suckers! Zelda: I'm glad to see molecular instability hasn't affected her.

Sabrina (Mocking Libby): What matters is what's in your heart. Put it on a sampler!