Sabrina has the words "Todd Dishes" written on the inside of her locker door.
Salem: Let's see the money. Hilda: Here. Why did you want it all in singles? Salem: So I could do this. (Starts rolling in money) I'm rich! Rich I tell you!
Zelda: Hilda, did you know you're in the newspaper? Hilda: Really? Where? Zelda: The obituary page. Have you died and not told me?
Hilda: Salem, you know, Vincent Van Gogh was a great artist and he never sold a single painting during his lifetime. Salem: Really? What a loser...
Sabrina: If Valerie's acting like me, all I have to do is start acting like she used to act before she started acting like me. Then, she'll start acting like her old self and stop acting like me. Get it? Salem: Would this be a bad time to tell you you're sitting on paint?
Salem: We'll split the commission right down the middle. 80-20...
Sabrina: Oh come on... Salem's not gonna accomplish anything in his life... Salem: I'm still way ahead of half the Kennnedy children.
Zelda: Sabrina, I want you to check this month's Enchanted By. There happen to be some edifying articles. Sabrina: "Nose Warts. How to Hide Them"... Oh good, it's got pictures...
Hilda: I don't have to tell Brock about the paintings. I'll tell him the newspaper made a mistake. Hilda Spellminski died! (Goes into living room) Hi Brock, the newspaper made a mistake... Brock: No! Aaaah! (Runs out) Hilda: Okay... That's not the way he usually greets me... Zelda: Sorry, but Brock said he needed closure, so I zapped in some pictures of you in a coffin. Hilda: I'm so pale! Zelda: You're dead...
Zelda: You'll do anything to work the fact that you're dating someone into the conversation. Hilda: That's not true... Sabrina: Has anyone seen my book bag? Hilda: The guy I'm dating has books!
Salem: You can read a magazine but you didn't have time to read my screenplay? Zelda: I got through volumes one and two, but then it seemed to drift.
Warren Birkhead (his voice is messed up): I found out the hard way, electrical circuits are not toys.
Mrs. Quick: Why, Valerie, that's another one right. Either you've been studying... (to Sabrina) Or have I been mouthing the answers again?
Mr. Birkhead: You tried to change Warren into a dingo. Valerie: I did? I am such a loser!
Sabrina: Hey Salem, when did you start painting? Salem: When no one would read my screenplay. I need a creative outlet.
Sabrina: I just know I'm gonna flunk next week's History test. I'm afraid the Science Club wants to kick me out and I'm pretty sure I'm the most unpopular girl in school. Valerie: Really? Sabrina (thinking): Great, it's working... Valerie: Well, then I have to cheer you up, because life is great and you're great! Sabrina (thinking): Jeez! Am I really that obnoxious?
Although credited, Mr. Kraft does not appear in this episode.
Valerie's family is a lot like Clarissa Darling's family in "Clarissa Explains it All", the TV show Melissa Joan Hart starred in from 1991-1994. Like Clarissa, Valerie's mom is a health food maniac, her dad is an architect, and she has an annoying younger brother.
Sabrina (reading the magic book): Wishbone spells, see Sanders, Colonel. This is a reference to Colonel Harlan Sanders, the founder of the Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food chain.
The episode title is a joke on the TV shows called My So-Called Life and Whose Line Is It Anyway?
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