Oh boy. I drew the short stick and was assigned to write this preview of FX's Saint George, the latest multi-cam sitcom to pay FX's bills. So let's get this over with! I watched the pilot so you don't have to, and I have advice for you on whether or not you should watch this show even though we all know what I'm going to say. So let's do this!
Saint George, so it's about an angel or otherwise saintly person named George?
No siree George. This multi-camera comedy is FX's second 10/90 sitcom (the first was Anger Management), meaning that if the first 10 episodes produced reach a certain ratings threshold, FX will order 90 more episodes. The idea is to make as much money as possible in as little time as possible by churning out episodes quickly, kind of like a soap opera. So what's it about? A fictional Mexican-American gent named George Lopez who bears a striking resemblance to the actor/standup comedian George Lopez and the lead actor/main character from the ABC sitcom George Lopez that ran from 2002 through 2007. Saint George's George is a recent divorcé with a young son who's described as an entrepreneur—he somehow made a ton of money selling an energy drink aimed at the Latin market—but even though he's loaded, he teaches night classes in history for reasons unknown. His mom, uncle, and cousin all want him to start dating again.
Who thought this show was a good idea, and who's unlucky enough to star in it?
Saint George was created by and stars George Lopez (he plays "George Lopez"). Jenn Lyon (the leggy blonde bartender Lindsey from Justified) plays George's ex-wife, Olga Merediz (multiple characters in a handful of Law & Order episodes) plays his mom, Diana-Maria Riva (¡Rob!) plays his horny coworker who won't stop pawing at his crotch, David Zayas (Dexter) plays his cousin Junior, and Danny Trejo (so many wonderful things but let's pick Machete) is making a paycheck as his uncle.
When does Saint George debut?
Saint George premieres Thursday, March 6 at 9pm on FX. Here are a few things you could (and should!) watch instead: Reign on The CW, Suits on USA, Grey's Anatomy on ABC, Project Runway on Lifetime, Pawn Stars on History, Millionaire Matchmaker on Bravo, paint drying, and yes, even Hollywood Game Night on NBC.
Who might like Saint George?
Ummm, people who like TBS's Are We There Yet? Also, George Lopez.
C'mon, there has to be something good about Saint George.
Someone gets pepper-sprayed in the pilot. Does that count? And Albert Pujols makes a cameo, so if you're a fan of overpaid athletes, that's a plus. I really liked Jenn Lyon on Justified, and she at least puts in some effort here.
What's bad about Saint George? And don't just say "Everything."
Everything! Seriously, the script is so, so bad—Saint George makes Anger Management look like Seinfeld. Here's a sampling of the humor from the pilot: The horny teacher who wants George says, "I'm wearing a thong," and then the laugh track loses its mind. Also, George dyes his hair because he thinks it's prematurely grey, and then his ex-wife says, "At your age, it's not premature." That's presumably when someone behind the scenes presses a button marked "funny." Also, there are plenty of jokes about dicks, masturbation, and racism.
So, should I—
NO! Don't. We need to band together to make sure this type of show doesn't happen again, and the only way to do that is to not put eyeballs on this type of sloppy, mind-shrinking, quick-buck television. Save the arts, save the human race, save yourself.
Let's take a look at a trailer anyway!
There's no trailer, but here's a clip. Remember, you asked for it.
Saint George premieres Thursday, March 6 at 9pm on FX.
AIRED ON 5/8/2014
Season 1 : Episode 10