Samantha Who?

Dena: Don't blame yourself. A lot of people don't like needles. Samantha Newly: (talking about Africa) It wasn't just the needles. Because when you get there, they have lions and snakes and scorpions. I mean, have you ever seen a scorpion? They're like spiders with knives.

(Samantha discusses her parent troubles with a college grad.) Samantha Newly: Just to find out who I am. Brent: Yeah, just to cut loose. Stop thinking. Have some sex. Samantha Newly: Not worry so much every single second about the future. Brent: Right, just have some sex. Samantha Newly: No, not happening Brent. Brent: Nice to meet you. (stands up and leaves)

Todd: Isn't that what you want -- a guy who sees you for who you are? Samantha Newly: No! No, I know who I am. I need someone who thinks that I'm better than I know that I am.

Samantha Newly: I thought parents wanted their children to turn out better than them. And since I am so much better than you, you should be thrilled!

Regina Newly: If you want to help, I will take you out and buy you a rubber bracelet and a red t-shirt.

Todd: Stay. It will be like old times. Samantha Newly: It's not supposed to be like old times. Ok? I'm supposed to be new and improved. And you know what? You're not helping very much mister. Todd: You weren't complaining last night. Samantha Newly: You took advantage of a drunk woman with a massive head injury. Nice work! Todd: I tried to wait until you sobered up, but you got naked and I lost my train of thought.