Samantha Who?

Dena: Hey Frank. I was thinking how it must be gratifying, doing your job, being such an important part of all these people's lives lives, coming and going here. Frank: There's talk of replacing me with a motion sensing mat.

Andrea: Why didn't you tell me? I know fifteen euro trash partiers who could be here in five minutes. Dena: It's Samantha's birthday party, you can't fill it with strangers. Andrea: She has amneasia. Dena: Start dialing.

Samantha: Thank you for helping me find this book on tanks. Todd: No, tank you.

Samantha: No, I can't, I can't do it like this… Todd: Sure you can, just hold under the civil war and put your foot on the Korean conflict.

Samantha: (voiceover) When they write the book of my life, what section will I be in? Mystery? Horror? Romance? Or just misfiled and jammed in the back under military history?

Todd: I wanna be with you on your birthday. I wanna start clean with you. I wanna be part of your life again. Samantha: It's my birthday?!

Dena: Really? Is he gonna break up with her to be with you? Samantha: Uh-huh. Yeah. That and because she's a total loon. And emotional. And a little unstable.

Samantha: Todd, I wouldn't have been fooling with you if you weren't gonna be breaking up with her already. This was just supposed to be a little overlap. But now, the longer that you keep your girlfriend, the longer I'm just a boyfriend-stealing whore. You're making me into a whore, Todd!

Regina: (opens door and sees Andrea) Oh Andrea... (turns her head) Honey, do we need any drinking done?! (turns to Andrea) Sorry, dear. Check back next week.

Chloe: So anyway, Todd and I were just about to record an outgoing message: "Hi, it's the home of Todd and Chloe. Leave a message, whether friend or foey."