Samantha Who?

Todd: So, all the crying was about a bad haircut. Samantha: Obviously you haven't had a bad haircut. Todd: Sure. I just put on a hat. Samantha: We're not even the same species.

Howard: (to Samantha) I'm not a talker, okay? That's why I married your mother. She does enough talking for the both of us.

Samantha: The only reason that I came hunting is so that we could talk. Howard: That's why I go hunting, because nobody talks.

Regina: You've never been hunting in your whole life. You'll shoot your leg off. Good luck getting married. Samantha: No but I've been practising. And I bought this pretty new rifle. And I went to the gun range and then last night I watched this movie called 'The Deer Hunter'. Which really wasn't very helpful at all.

Samantha: How do you eyeball a thousand feet? Dena: Fourteen telegraph poles.

Samantha: The thing about amnesia is that you learn something new every day. Like just last week I learned that it's really a bad idea to sit behind me on a rollercoaster. So anyway a couple of days ago I was trying to learn my favorite ice cream.

Samantha: Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Todd, and second of all, I'm not chasing him, I just tracked him down to tell him, that I'm not stalking him. Regina: I'm never getting grand kids, am I?

Sam: There is not an amnesia strong enough to erase the memory of last week's Tai Chi exercises. Regina: I told you, I thought it was supposed to be done naked. How long do I have to keep apologizing?

Dena: Speed it up, old man! I'm driving a piece of crap, what's your excuse?!

Sam: I can't believe you, Andrea. How could you not tell about this? I mean, you call me at midnight to tell me to get my eyebrows waxed, but my restraining order just, like, slips your mind?!

Sam: Is it our song? Todd: No. We, we didn't have a song. Every time I suggested one, you laughed at me and asked me if I was on my period.