Samantha Who?

Andrea: As her best friend, I think I'm more qualified to pick a man for her than you are. Regina: That's right. I forgot you'd had them all.

Samantha: What guy wants some clueless bimbo who doesn't know right from wrong in the bedroom? Andrea: You have so much to learn.

Andrea: It's like sex. Dena: It really is. Andrea: You can't describe it. Samantha: Just try, okay? I mean sometimes people describe food like it tastes like chicken. Andrea: I will tell you this. It tastes nothing like chicken. Dena: Most of the time.

Samantha: What are you guys doing? Regina: We're cleaning out the garage. We'd been saving all this stuff that was sentimental to you but now that you've forgotten why, we can throw it out.

Samantha: Is it possible that a person cannot remember having sex? Andrea: Trust me... Samantha: I'm serious. I don't remember what it's like. I don't remember how it feels. I don't remember- Andrea: Oh my god. You poor thing. You're a virgin.

Regina: Don't hitchhike. People will think you're a hooker dressed like that. Samantha: You just said that I looked nice.

Samantha: You don't realise until you lose it, but your memory is everything you are. Without it, you're a blank slate. Reborn without points of reference, experiences, even opinions. A child looking at the world with new eyes. The only problem is, you're still an adult.

Samantha: Mom, can I talk to you about something kind of personal? Regina: Oh, I knew this was going to come up sooner or later. Samantha: You did? Regina: Yes, and hunny, don't worry... you're not dying, this happens to every woman, once a month.

Samantha: So she's hum, she seems nice... She's very pretty. Todd: Oh, thanks. Samantha: I didn't say you were pretty! I said she was pretty.

Regina: I don't want you to think I'm one of those uptight mothers, I... I... I want to be supportive, so, c'mon, let's get my little girl laid. Dena: Okay! Samantha (to Andrea): This is bad, right? Andrea: Do you think?! I'm out with a dork, her mother and her stalker. Looks like I'm leading the special-needs field trip.

Andrea: Listen to me, listen to me. You are ready for this. You look fabulous, the pond is deep, the fish are biting! Dena (suddenly appearing): Well, hello! Andrea: But then a boat motors through...

Frank: And... how are you today? Samantha: How am I? I'm a virgin, that's how I am! Frank: Yes madam... and I'm a pirate! Shall I call you a cab?

Samantha: We had sex before, hadn't we? Todd: I'm sorry... what? Samantha: Sex! Todd: Well... yeah! you know... we were together for three years Samantha: I know we had... of course we had! it's just... I can't remember it Todd: Oh! that's flattering Samantha: Oh no, please! Don't take it personally... I don't remember french fries either!