Samantha Who? Season 1 Episode 3

Samantha: (making a wedding toast) Marriage. What is marriage? Let's break it down. Mare from the Latin, meaning sea. And edge, the edge of the sea. It's like sailing. It's like sailing over the edge of the sea, into uncharted waters. Right? You're all sailing folk. It's a new beginning. And, you know what, who among us doesn't need a new beginning? Or forgiveness. I'm getting it. Shouldn't everybody else? No matter what they've done. Whatever mistakes or indescretions or acts of just downright betrayal. As long as they just promise never to do it again.

Samantha: Hey, I'm funny. Did you know I was funny?
Todd: Yes. Yes, and like all great comics, there's a dark evil clown lurking behind the laughter.

Bridesmaid: I went through all that bridesmaid's crap so that one time I wouldn't have to sit at the loser's table. Then that one has to show up again.
Dena: Yeah, that one.
Bridesmaid: I can wait, though. It's happened before and she always lets me back in eventually.
Dena: How do you know the bride?
Bridesmaid: She's my sister.

Valerie: I came out of my tent to see Sam halfway up the trail already, with not a stitch of clothes on.
Samantha: I didn't have trouble getting a ride home.

Howard: When we built this house, the plumbing was state of the art.
Regina: Well, so was yours. Things change.

Samantha: One fact about Samantha Newly. Before my amnesia, everybody hated me, except a few people like these two. A childhood friend and, for some reason, my ex-boyfriend.

Samantha: Dena I'm not gonna stay somewhere when I'm not wanted.
Dena: It's not that hard, you get used to it.

Samantha: Disinvited? But she liked me. How can she disinvite someone she likes so much?
Andrea: Oh I don't know, it might be because you started a litte wedding pool on how long the marriage would last.
Samantha: Well that's not very likable.

Regina: You're never gonna make it sweetheart.
Samantha: No? Watch me. Somebody likes me and it's an honor to be asked and I'm not gonna let down my good friend Victoria.
Dena: Valerie.
Samantha: Whatever.

Dena: (about Samantha) She's a bridesmaid!
Regina: In a wedding?
Dena: Yeah.
Regina: You mean someone liked her?
Samantha: Yes mother, it is possible despite my upbringing.