Mr. Trild: Are you calling me a crook, Mr. Sanford?
Fred: If the shoe fits, shove it up your nose!
Lamont: This the last straw!
Fred (drinking with a straw): It is? Well, I'll wash it out for you!
Fred: You're in good hands with Fred G. Sanford. And the G is for Gibraltar. And if they don't hurry up and settle my claim, (shakes fist) I'm gonna give them a piece of the rock!
Esther: Just remember the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away--H'OH GLORY!
Fred: And you just remember the Lord gave you that face and you stuck with it--H'OH GLORY!!
Fred (to Esther): Into to each life some ugly must fall!
Lamont: I thought you said you liked Rollo.
Fred: Yes I did. And that was today's "Bicentennial Minute!"
Fred Sanford Monster Movie of the Week:
"The Incredible Shrinking Fungus"