"You gotta light white right"
6.0
A Review by "HelloStuart," Amateur Critic and World's Slowest Stenographer
Was last week's MacGruber/Pepsi marketing crossover a sign of things to come? We SNL diehards can only hope it's not the case, but NBC programming head honcho Ben Silverman would say otherwise. In the wake of last week's controversial product placement, Silverman stated that is a new era for television programming and all bets are off in a tanking economy. Unfortunately, this might result in the A-Holes stumping for State Farm Insurance and the Target Lady promoting Vagisil. I doubt the original cast would've stood for any of this nonsense.
This week's host is Bradley Cooper, a diligent character actor and the latest in a string of hosts that had recognizable faces but not necessarily familiar names. (For the uninitiated, Cooper starred on the TV series "Alias" and is now appearing in the movie "He's Just Not That Into You.") The critically acclaimed funk-soul-rock quintet TV on the Radio is tonight's musical guest.
And now, the sketch-by-sketch analysis:
COLD OPENING: Live on C-SPAN, Sen. Harry Reid (FA) and Speaker Nancy Pelosi (KW) attempt to justify the huge economic stimulus package, but Reid's insistence of bipartisanship are quashed by an incredulous, smug Pelosi. With the conservative movement retreating, SNL takes a long-overdue jab at the left with their satiric rifles aimed on the Democratic Party's most polarizing member (Pelosi) and how one party's complete control of the White House and Congress can lead to massive hubris.
MONOLOGUE: The bullying fiancée from "Wedding Crashers" describes the body language that goes into playing a petulant romantic rival: slowly getting up from a chair, flaring your nostrils, crack your neck, and something called a "huff n' puff." Brad's simplified breakdown earns the adulation of his former teacher James Lipton and quite possibly an entire legion of second-tier comedians who like to poke fun at movies.
"Today": Hoda (MW) tries to play it straight while Kathie Lee (KW) is her usual belligerent self. A commentary on the Christian Bale rant somehow segues into a diatribe against reverse racism amongst TV gaffers and lighting professionals. Soon after, a fashion expert named Ms. B shows the ladies how to walk like a supermodel, resulting in anticipated pratfalls and the growing sense it's only a matter of time before Kotb and Gifford start clawing each others' eyes out.
"I'm Gonna Have Sex With Your Wife": A game show spoof where the host (Bradley) keeps having off-stage quickies with the spouses of the contestants (WF, FA, BH). The returning champion is nothing short of horrified and embarrassed; a study in slow burn that fails to carry this threadbare and unfunny skit.
DIGITAL SHORT: To further promote The Lonely Island's upcoming disc "Incredibad," Andy, Akiva, and T-Pain (but not Jorma) perform "I'm on a Boat," a hot dance track about… hanging out on a boat. Too claustrophobic in its focus to really work, it seems like they simply wanted to brag about cutting a song with T-Pain, than made a video that apparently sat on the shelf for about six months.
"To Be With You": More icky memories from four friends (Bradley, BH, JS, WF), this time at an open-bar funeral with Mr. Big blasts from the speakers. Since this bit debuted two years ago, the wacky flashbacks have gone from clever and deliberately off-putting to cheap, scatological and remarkably predictable.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: "Golden Age" is a funky, bizarre cacophony, a four-minute blast that would confuse anyone accustomed to traditional chord movements and coherent singing but mesmerizing to TV's growing fan base of avart-garde groupies.
WEEKEND UPDATE: During last weekend's nonstop Super Bowl coverage it was revealed that Seth is a diehard Steelers fan, so it really came as no surprise that there would be a commentary from almost-MVP James Harrison (KT), who's still out of breath from last week and serves no other purpose than to please Mr. Meyers. The 800-pound gorilla in the room, however was the tabloid photo of Michael Phelps smoking a bong; Olympic great Mark Spitz (AS) dropped by to comment but seemed more distracted by his sexual prowess from 35 years ago, while the first solo "Really!?!" tirade made Kellogg's appear to be hypocritical for dropping Phelps as a spokesman.
"Fort Wayne Admirals": Shy man-child Keith (BM) is thrilled to meet two players (WF, JS) from his favorite minor league hockey team but not as interested in a third Admiral (Bradley). Bobby seems to corner the market on playing precocious little boys, but his ability to raise his voice higher and lower more times than the average Pixies song couldn't save this boring sketch.
"Bad Guys, Good Conversation": Villains from beloved '80s movies (plus Buffalo Bill from "Silence of the Lambs," as played by BH) explain their motives for malevolence, what they're seeking in a significant other, and the worst thing they've ever done. I specifically mention Buffalo Bill because he steals the sketch; where baddies like Hans Gruber (AS) and Alex from "Fatal Attraction" are more grounded in reality, the sociopath is an over-the-top hoot.
"Intervention": Pat Sajak's brother Matt (BH) and his attempts to stage an intercession for drunken young Mark (AS) are thwarted by the addict's aunt and uncle (Bradley, KW) and their need to make increasingly random and annoying sounds. We don't really know what's going to happen in the sketch until about 90 seconds in, and even then the big reveal is a strangely familiar letdown.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: "Dancing Choose" is a bit more straightforward than the first song, with the guy from "Rachel Getting Married" rapping his brains out while the rest of the band jams frenetically.
"No Bruce! Let Me Finish!": A humbled Christian Bale (Bradley) plugs a DVD of other celebrities' off-screen meltdowns, all of which are directed by an unseen stagehand named Bruce. Abby's mimicry of Joan Cusack proved that she's a better celebrity impersonator that I once assumed –if only because she's been mostly stuck in ancillary roles since she joined the cast- but everything else felt flat.
Following last week's disappointing Steve Martin affair, an unproven host and a wild card musical guest combined for a fairly tolerable but imperfect show. There seemed to be a recurring theme of safety in tonight's show; the best sketches (the Reid/Pelosi cold open and the "Today" sketch) played to SNL's recent yen for topical humor and shredding public figures, but skits like "Be With You" and "Intervention" were bordering on pedestrian. It was evident that Cooper had a lot of fun and reveled in being part of the cast for one night; he may not be a household name and unlikely to be invited back, but he made the most of his 90 minutes in Studio 8H. I'll probably get some flack for saying TV on the Radio was one of the best musical guests so far this season, but I'm cutting them slack for not pretending to be radio-friendly on a show that tries to balance style and substance. Segments That Will Probably Be Removed in Repeats: "I'm Gonna Have Sex with Your Wife," "Fort Wayne Admirals," "Intervention," and "No Bruce! Let Me Finish!"
Next Week: On the heels of Steve Martin's record-breaking hosting stint, frequent flyer Alec Baldwin makes his 14th go-around with musical guest The Jonas Brothers. (No, I'm serious. The Jonas Brothers.)
"HelloStuart" is available in original flavor, sour cream and onion, garlic cheddar, and new zesty ranch. Contact him at sma17kc@aim.com.moreless