Saturday Night Live

Season 30 Episode 7

Colin Farrell/Scissor Sisters

Aired Saturday 11:30 PM Dec 11, 2004 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
33 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Live from New York, it's... Darrell Hammond! Sketches include "Rumsfeld Speaks To The Troops," "Turlington's Lower Back Tattoo Remover" (rerun), "Big Roach Problem," "Horny Customs Officer," "Show Biz Grande Explosion," "Key Party," "Aging Window Cleaner," and "Merv The Perv." Scissor Sisters performed "Take Your Mama" and a cover of Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb."moreless

Who was the Episode MVP ?

  • "Popcorn!"

    A Review by the Former "Heystu," Amateur Critic and Macedonian Warmonger

    I know I've beat this topic into the ground, but I have to admit that I'm proud to officially announce that we will never have to worry about Ashlee Simpson phoning it in on SNL anymore. Apparently, she has refused an alleged invitation to caterwaul on the show again, citing some sort of phony-baloney emotional distress and the usual acid reflux. Being a man with manners, chivalry, and a low threshold for news stories that are over-reported by the media, I would be very willing to put this final nail in this coffin and move on.

    While that one particular chapter in SNL's history is now past us, we can now look towards the future, which also happens to provide little favor. As some of you may have already learned, legendary actor and noted cue-card reader Robert DeNiro will be hosting next week. Whether or not he has learned his lesson has yet to be determined, but given the show's current winning streak I can't really imagine him as that much of a hamper.

    As for this week, the British invasion continues with Irish party animal and semi-serious actor Colin Farrell hosting, with one of my favorite bands of late, the hyper-flamboyant UK-via-NYC sextet known as Scissor Sisters on the ballot for tonight's music. While Farrell does have that notorious edge, it does come as a surprise that according to various sources he was a team player the whole week and worked well with the cast.

    And now, the sketch-by-sketch analysis:

    COLD OPENING: Live on CNN, it's that town hall meeting with Donald Rumsfeld (DH) from earlier this week. As you might expect, soldiers start asking questions about low supplies and missing articles of clothing, with one combatant (RR) nagging Rummy for the "borrowing" of this much-needed equipment. While this was only somewhat amusing for your typical hastily-written current events sketch, as least Riggle is finally utilizing some of his "Straight Plan for the Gay Man" clout.

    MONOLOGUE: Why the monologue continues to be the weakest part of nearly each and every show remains a mystery to me, but the fact that Colin Farrell was essentially reading dating advice off a cue card really strained for laughs. On the bright side, Lindsay Lohan didn't come off as insipid eye-candy during what could've been a pointless cameo, and Fred Armisen's quick reference to those emerging gay rumors was also worth a chuckle.

    "Turlington's Back Tattoo Remover": A repeat from last year. "Pretty Sad" indeed.

    "The Roach Problem": After meeting cute, a woman (AP) is quickly distressed by the insect infestation inside the pad of her new beau (Farrell). What started off as yet another bad date sketch makes a sad metamorphosis into a shameless gross-out exercise.

    "Showbiz Grande Explosion!": Boy, Armisen is sure getting a lot of mileage out of his Ferecito character. In this third installment of the semi-popular recurring sketch, the poor man's Tito Puente makes a few dull jabs at the ongoing BALCO scandal, and then plays percussions as Bono (Farrell) explains his mastery of the Spanish language before singing "Vertigo."

    "Airport Customs": An assumed INS officer (AP) fondles an unwilling traveler (Farrell) mostly for her own pleasure before getting busted. Clever, but no laugh-out-loud moments.

    MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: England's latest gender-bender trendsetters perform their only hit the US so far, "Take Mama Out." Boy, does Del Marquis know how to make a great pop-rock guitar riff.

    WEEKEND UPDATE: After six weeks of gems, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hit their first overall clunker since the departure of Jimmy Fallon. Fey shows the obligatory clip of the night (Rumsfeld in Iraq), Amy celebrates "Chanugah," Phoenix Coyotes winger Brett Hull drops by to discuss the NHL lockout with a economic amount of charm and charisma, Tina and Amy play mentor to Lindsay Lohan but fail to avoid making a reference to fandango, followed by a series of bad hip-hop puns, all before the host comments on the homoerotic overtones of his flop movie "Alexander" with forced double entendres. What a bloated experience this has become.

    "The Key Party": A portly young woman (HS) becomes overexcited by her participation at a swingers' party, repeatedly asking for the names of the partygoers and their respective code words, not to mention making her husband (Farrell) increasingly uncomfortable. While I appreciated Tina Fey's first sketch appearance of the season (and her childlike repeating of the word "popcorn"), this whole bit constantly ran in circles and really didn't go anywhere.

    "Action News 4": A height-fearing reporter (Farrell) finds interviewing a retiring window-washer (KT) outside the 65th floor of a skyscraper more difficult than it has to be, but his producer (MR) and cameraman (WF) keep egging him on. While this officially proves that Farrell is somewhat capable of doing physical comedy, this was the latest swing and a miss in what has been thus far an off night for everyone involved.

    "Pat N' Patti's Slacks, Snacks, & Knick-knacks Shack": Oh dear god- first we have puns, now we have tongue twisters. In a partial rewrite of a deservedly forgotten sketch from Year 29, husband-and-wife entrepreneurs (MR, HS) hawk the wares of their latest franchise, which awkwardly meshes sweatpants, Snickers, and key chains. But it's the wordplay that keeps the sketch going, but even that's running on fumes.

    MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: The Sisters come back to perform "Comfortably Numb." Never before has a Pink Floyd song about tranquilizers been so funky.

    "Merv The Perv": Literally bringing up the rear on tonight's show is yet another recurring character, this time being Chris Parnell's seemingly annual excursion into his insipid hunger for sexual gratification as well as attention. This time around, Mervin continues to alienate women at a office Christmas party while his British cousin "Steve the Skeev" (Farrell) does essentially the same thing and wows them over.

    Well, I guess that winning streak is over. Farrell was stiff yet overall decent host, though nothing seemed to go right tonight; heck, even the band wasn't playing to their fullest capacity. On the bright side, Rob Riggle finally received a respectable amount of screen time, though Finesse Mitchell's short appearance in the CNN sketch felt more like a step backwards. At least they didn't let the show rest upon celebrity cameos- Lindsay Lohan dropped by twice but knew exactly when the joke was over. Perhaps she was hesitant for attention following her nude appearance on the cover of this week's Entertainment Weekly.

    Sketches That Will Probably Be Removed For Repeats: "Turlington's," "The Roach Problem," most of Update, "Key Party," and "Pat n' Patti's (do I really have to bother writing that whole thing again?) Shack."

    Next Week: As mentioned before, Bobby DeNiro may or may not redeem himself the second time around, with musical guest Destiny's Child also making a repeat appearance.

    Writer, college sophomore, and sometime comedian "HelloStuart" currently resides in Downers Grove, Illinois. Contact him at sma17kc@netscape.netmoreless

Featured Episode Clip

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • In the "Big Roach Problem" sketch, when one of the roaches sneaks into the bathroom, the whole wall shakes due to SNL's famously poor set construction.

    • During the opening credits, Don Pardo announces the musical guest as "Scissor Sister" rather than "Scissor Sisters".

    • Colin Farrell slips-up his monologue and says that even though its live TV, he is going to say the line again.

  • QUOTES (7)

    • Amy Poehler: The Supreme Court ruled Monday that members of the Ku Klux Klan cannot protest in New York City wearing their hoods and they must show their faces, because New Yorkers like to see who they're punching.

    • Tina Fey: In preparation for his child molestation trial, investigators took a DNA sample by swabbing Michael Jackson's mouth on Saturday. Then, out of habit, Jackson gave the investigators twelve million dollars in hush money.

    • Tina Fey: Now, you've been wearing a lot of low-cut blouses...
      Lindsay Lohan: Tina, nobody says "blouses."
      Tina Fey: Fine, low-cut tops. Whatever the kids say. So now I'm gonna ask you one more time. Are those things real?
      Lindsay Lohan: Oh my god, yes!
      Tina Fey: Because when people ask me if they're real, I always tell them yes, and I would hate for you to be making a liar out of me, Lindsay.

    • Amy Poehler: This week, Jay-Z was named President of the Def Jam recording label. Sorry, John Kerry.

    • Tina Fey: According to his own Grand Jury testimony, New York Yankees player Jason Giambi injected himself with Human Growth Hormone in 2003, and also used steroids for at least three seasons. Although apparently, not the kind that make you good at baseball.

    • Tina Fey: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have pledged to help stop abuses at overseas sweatshops producing their clothing line, although the twins say they know from personal experience that three-year-olds have more than enough energy to work an 18-hour day.

    • Tina Fey: It was reported that Mel Gibson is buying a private 5000-acre island in Fiji for fifteen million dollars. Not having any Jews around: priceless.

  • NOTES (9)

    • Sketches cut in the 60 minute version of this episode: "Merv the Perv", Lindsay Lohan's appearance on Weekend Update, Scissor Sisters' performance of "Comfortably Numb", "Human Interest Story", "Airport Security", and the "Turlington's Back Tattoo Remover " ad from 5/1/04.

    • Amy Poehler wrote the "Horny Airport Security Officer" sketch. Tina Fey wrote the "Key Party" sketch.

    • The "Merv the Perv" sketch originally appeared in the Jude Law/Ashlee Simpson dress rehearsal. It took place at a Halloween party instead of a Christmas party and Jude Law played Merv's cousin.

    • During the goodnights, Colin Farrell says, "I shit you not" (although closed-captioning says, "I kid you not").

    • Colin Farrell is the 4th European to host this season, and the second to be Irish.

    • The tabloids later said that Colin Farrell slept with both Lindsay Lohan and longtime SNL photographer Edie Baskin, and not necessarily at the same time.

    • A "Tom Brokaw Enjoying Retirement" sketch was cut after dress rehearsal. It featured Chris Parnell as Tom Brokaw, Amy Poehler as his wife, Colin Farrell as their mailman, and Seth Meyers as Brian Williams. The premise was Brokaw reading his newspaper and mail and calling Brian Williams, all in his news voice.

    • Lindsay Lohan made her cameo appearance the same week as appeared nude on the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

    • The NBC rerun of this episode bleeps out Colin Farrell's use of the s-word at the end of the show.