SATURDAY NIGHT DYING
... After ushering freshman cast member Brooks Wheelan out the door on Monday, Saturday Night Live has dropped two more players and seen a third leave on her own. The contracts of Noel Wells and Jon Milhiser have not been renewed (a.k.a. "Thanks, g'bye now!'), and Nasim Pedrad, who joined the sketch show in 2009, is leaving to appear in the upcoming Fox sitcom Mulaney. First-year cast members Beck Bennett, Kyle Mooney, Mike O'Brien, Sasheer Zamata, and Colin Jost are still employed... FOR NOW! DUN-DUN!!! (Insert .GIF of Lorne Michaels sitting menacingly in front of a fireplace.) [THR]
... FX's The Strain, which I reviewed and liked although it wasn't scary enough for some of you, drew 3 million viewers (well, technically 2.99 million) for its Sunday-night debut. That's pretty good for its first episode; FX's other recent drama premieres, Tyrant and Fargo, drew 2.1 million viewers and 2.65 million viewers, respectively. [Deadline]
... Over on Showtime, Masters of Sex and Ray Donovan returned for their respective second seasons on Sunday, and Sex didn't sell so well but Ray did okay. At 10pm, Masters of Sex picked up 825,000 pairs of eyes, down from the just-under-a-million who tuned in for the Season 1 premiere, when it had the benefit a Homeland lead-in. One hour earlier, Ray Donovan drew 1.22 million viewers at 9pm, just a hair under the 1.3 million who watched the Season 1 premiere. [The Wrap]
... Bravo has put a premiere date on its first scripted series, Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce: Tuesday, December 2! Lisa Edelstein (House) stars as a self-help author who's going through a messy divorce. So, girlfriend, just keep pretending you love your husband 'til then. [Bravo via press release]
... Spike TV is continuing its push into original programming that isn't just about pounding an energy drink and then punching something really hard. The network is developing a script for The Crusaders, an event series based on the Crusades. It will be set during the Third Crusade and follow two mismatched knights on their way to the Holy Land. [Spike TV via press release]
... ABC Family is getting into the holiday spirit and airing special episodes of six of its shows on celebratory calendar dates. Melissa & Joey and Baby Daddy will serve up Halloween installments during the network's 13 Nights of Halloween programming, and Pretty Little Liars, The Fosters, Switched at Birth, Chasing Life, Melissa & Joey, and Baby Daddy will celebrate Christmas on television during the network's 25 Days of Christmas event. Me, I only celebrate National High-Five Day... all year. [ABC Family via press release]
... Rob Lowe, Candice Bergen, and Paz Vega will star in Beautiful and Twisted, an upcoming Lifetime movie. The film tells the juicy and true story of the murder of hotel heir Ben Novack Jr. Lowe will play the victim, Vega will play Novack's wife (a former stripper!), and Bergen has signed on to play his mom. [THR]
... Kristen Connolly (House of Cards) will replace Brianna Brown in ABC's upcoming spooky-kids drama The Whispers. The show follows children who begin to act out and plot murders and stuff when invisible aliens pretend to be their friends and tell them what to do. [Deadline]
... Person of Interest is adding hottie Cara Buono (Emmy nominated for Mad Men) to Season 4 in a recurring role. She'll play a "femme fatale" who is able to walk through the new world order set in motion at the end of Season 3. [Deadline]
... Bones has cast 24 alum John Boyd in a recurring role for Season 10. Boyd, who played CTU agent Arlo Glass in the Jack Bauer drama, will recur on Bones as James Aubrey, a junior FBI agent who's described as "charming and unapologetically confident," and who Booth sets out to "tame." [TV Line]
... Ever wonder how live studio audiences can keep up the laughter even though they've seen the same joke performed over and over again? [AV Club]
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... It's my weekly Under the Dome review and photo recap, everybody!!!
... ABC has announced its fall premiere dates. You KNOW you want to found out when Last Man Standing returns.
... Friendly British person and ABC boss Paul Lee discussed ABC's upcoming season at the Television Critics Association press tour today, including why his network has shows of all colors.
... Syfy previewed two of its upcoming dramas, Ascension and 12 Monkeys, at the press tour on Monday, and it really seems like the network is committed to getting back to its sci-fi roots.
... Help me figure out who the creepiest kids on television are, would you please?