A Message From The Cheneys: Dick and Lynne Cheney show us their Valentine Day Cards they got from various "admirers."
Forest Whitaker's Monologue: Forest and Maya sing a medley "People Get Ready" and "Get Ready".
BRONX BEAT: Jodi and Betty whine about their families again. Their guests are blood-drive coordinators Drs. Cora Reynolds and Joseph Humpkins.
Andy Pops In Frame (Digital Short): Andy pops in random places around the world.
ASSAGIO'S: A singer keeps on singing by bumping up each pitch, and annoys the dinner guests at the restaurant.
URIGRO: A man shows us that if you take Urigro, your pee will have a harder, stronger flow.
Man vs. Beast- The Road to the Final Four: ESPN-like coverage of a man fighting a lion, with a distubing "post-game" interview.
Musical Performance: Keith Urban performs "Stupid Boy".
Weekend Update: Amy and Seth co-anchor. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton guest star. Bill Oefelein also guest stars.
LOVE, WHITNEY: Whitney Houston hosts a special for Valentines Day. Bobby Brown's Uncle Tommy stops by to wish Whitney a Happy Valentine's Day.
Am I A Crazy Street Person?!: The game show features either men who are successful, or men who say they're successful, but are actually crazy.
Musical Performance: Keith Urban performs "Once in a Lifetime".
A Message From the Staten Island Zoo: A zookeeper shows us a video about sloths, which actually is a goofy rap song.