A Message From Dennis Hastert: Dennis Hastert comments on the Mark Foley scandal.
Jamie Pressly's Monologue: Jaime tries to tell dodge the redneck stereotype like she portrays on My Name Is Earl, but the cast didn't get the message.
Nancy Grace: Nancy Grace has guests on for the Mark Foley scandal, and for the mysterious scandal of her chair being moved.
New York Stories (I): Martin Scorsese and Rosie Perez talk about their memories with New York when they were kids.
JON BOVI: A clear copy cat band of Bon Jovi, goes to an executive to get discovered.
WVIR NEWS: A bi-curious news caster tries flirting with a winner of a brand new car.
New York Stories (II): Lou Reed and Patti Smith talk about how the CBGBs were closed down.
Virginica Hastings: Virginica stands up for her daughter, after her cell phone rang in school.
Musical Performance: Corrinne Bailey Rae performs "Put Your Records On".
Weekend Update: Amy and Seth co-anchor. Peter O'Toole, Fugly Betty, and Charo guest star.
The Nascarettes: The Nascarettes try to dance to a song, in the middle of the Nascar stadium.
New York Stories (III): Fran Lebowitz and Yoko One talk about their experiences with New York.
Big Wigs: Two ladies with big wigs try to get two men out of financial problems, but there are fans.
HIS KUATO: A houseguest has the "Total Recall" creature living in his stomach.
Musical Performance: Corrinne Bailey Rae performs "Like A Star".
CIDER CHAT: Two friends sitting on a porch give each other too much information.
The Out-Of-Breath-Jogger from from 1982: A jogger tries telling us something, but he is too out of breath to be understood.