Lose the award of awards and throw your guitar outta spite. Yes, once again, it's that time of Saturday night.
6.5
"Fair"
This week on Saturday Night Live, we see screen star and Oscar nominee Matt Dillon with newbie musical artist Arctic Monkeys. Unlike last week's show, I am not a fan of either. But, like always, I had an open mind. And, I do look forward to SNL more now. And that reason was on the show a bit tonight. So, time to start the analysis.
HOST:
This week's host is, like I said, Oscar nominated Matt Dillon, who might not have won Best Supporting, but was in the winning movie. His monologue was a take-off of said movie, "Crash," (also the name of my fav Gwen Stefani song), in which he stereotyped every race imaginable. He apologized for not being able to tell the Asians apart, was amazed with the Hispanics work-effort, thanked Terrence Howard, and apologized for not seeing the "pimp movie," congratulated Ludacris for playing a gansta, which was such a stretch for him, and thanked his mom, who drinks and has 16 kids. Also he thanked the Arab family, who were really very nice. Plus, he thanked the Jews, who ran mostly all of the business. That was his best bit of the night. As a host, he was easily described as average. He was okay in his skits. I don't recall him missing any of his lines. I do not see him returning. But the monologue was great! C+
MUSICAL GUEST:
The musical guest this week is British rock group Arctic Monkeys. They are a smash hit in the good ol' UK, but here, they are just starting out here. They have sold better, over there that is, than Coldplay. In fact, they are the best selling new band over there. But like I said, that doesn't mean anything here. The first song they did, "I Bet You Look Good On the Dance Floor," was pretty good. I could kind of, in a way, get into it. The second one, "A Certain Romance," was pretty boring. I was just waiting for the lyrics to start up. Apparently, at the end of the song, some dude in the audience yawned, causing the singer, whatever his name is, to say in fact, "That guy just yawned." So the guitarist threw his guitar, and they just walked off stage, which left me puzzled, until I discovered the reason why. I thought it was rude at first, considering that they should bow. Then I thought that after finding out why, the guy in the audience could have been tired. It was almost 1 AM. Actually, when the guy threw his guitar, I thought it was just copying Petey of FOB throwing his bass into the drums last week. Guess now. Arctic Monkeys are an okay band I guess. They aren't what I listen too, and they can't touch the performance from FOB last week. C-
The SKITS:
Cold Opening: Spring Break '06 This is the pretty clever skit about college girls who get all naughty on Spring Break. I liked the ending of it when we discovered that the middle aged adults are really Maya's parents. And she is getting all dirty with friends Amy, Rachel and Kristen in front of them. The skit ended with Finesse announcing the flight to Cancun. Glad he was in. B-
prisonmate.net Need help finding a man, ladies? Well, here is the service for you. Sure, they might be convicted criminals, but they will be available in 5 10. And maybe some aren't even guilty. Well, maybe that guy in the Hannibal mask was. That was funny. I was glad to see Finesse in the skit. It was very funny. A-
SportsCenter Ooh, Finesse again, as Stuart Scott. And I know that name from the I Love the . . . series. In this Barry Bonds, his manager, and the mascot deny steroids use. I was a bit upset that they put Andy in that costume. I wouldn't mind seeing him, ya know. It was pretty good. B-
Short Film: Lookalikes So, here, is 2 guys, Seth, Andy, and Will, trying to find their doppelgangers. They find success, until it comes to Andy, and they say he looks like a loser homeless guy, played by Horatio. Now, I thought it was rude to say that Andy looks like HIM. But the worse of it was when they shot Andy for Horatio, and then later realized they were wrong. Oh My GOD, THEY KILLED ANDY!!! My reaction, No, not Andy!!! How dare they kill him!!! (It's a joke, not taking it seriously. But I was mad they killed him, especially for Ho) It wasn't as good as last week's, "The Real Natalie," but I enjoyed it, until the end. A-
Two A-Holes At A Travel Agency I liked it better than the first time, which on Jack Black's episode, they tried to find a X-mas tree. Here, they try to go on a trip, but can't deicide. Kristen is willing to take a trip to an air plane. She then decided she wants to head to Europe. It was funny at parts. B+
How To Order Sushi Like A CEO - What restuarant was this, because the a-hole ordering got his food right after he ordered, even with the annoyed waitress. Dillon plays some CEO I guess teaching people how to "properly" order sushi. I loved when he spit the uni out. Maya was the waitress, BTW. Not a bad skit. It had funny parts. B+
JJ Casuals Last time I had no idea what it was about. I didn't remember it. Well, I got it now. Andy plays Jack Johnson, selling shoes that look like feet. So, I realized where the JJ came from. Andy looked strange with the short hair. I prefer him with the shaggy hair. More becoming. I was glad I could see this again. B+
Joplin: Alive Podcast Nerd who have a show on the Internet. How original! Next they'll say nerds can form their own bands. Wait, they have already? Well, now I've heard everything! Well, nerds have their own Podcast. And that will so be a word by the end of this year, if it ain't already. Anyway, this skit has Bill and Jason have their own show, and it is at a restaurant. And Jason's girlfriend, played by Kristen, makes a few appearances. Andy plays some friend with a French accent who wants to hang with party girls, meaning he should find the chicks from the cold opening. His accent was bad, but his character was pretty goods. I think that was supposed to be played by Dillon originally. I liked the people walking in front of their camera, and how they were a bit annoyed. Everyone in this skit was a total nerd, but I guess I did like it. B-
Vincent Price's St. Patrick's Day Special Man, the original version of this skit was so f***in hilarious! That was my fav skit of the season. This time, it was good, but not as good as the Thanksgiving Special. Here, there were appearances by Katherine Hepburn, who continuously talked about her aviation skills. And this was after she dated Howard Hughes. I saw a resemblance between last time when it was Judy Garland asked, "Did you ever get the feeling your hands were made of sand?" and Price asked if that was part of the play, or if she was really asking him that, and Ms. Hepburn asking questions, and Vincent not knowing whether to respond, as if he could get a word in edgewise. We also saw an appearance from the late, great Don Knotts, Darrell, and Ron Serling, Matt, the man behind The Twilight Zone, making Vincent ask why he has not yet been on the show. Like I said, good, but not as good as the original. B-
Appalachian Emergency Room Same as always: hillbillies seeking medical attention for very strange injuries. It never really changes. Annoying. This was pry the worst skit of the night. C-
Decicco Brothers Unicornery - Well, here are two Jersey guys selling unicorns. I recall seeing a McDonald's skit, and if I am correct, Andy was playing Ronald. They cut that for this crap?! That could have been worse then this mostly. Well, I disagree. It had Andy in it, course, in a costume. He was in the costume at the good byes. Believe me, I scope the crowd for him. Did that last week for him and Patrick. Both were in the back. The unicorns were cute in this, mostly that lil one. Why are little things so adorable? The rest was a waste. C-
BEST MOMENT: Andy, Bill, and Finesse were in a lot more than usual. And I gotta love that. But the best moment was the monologue, which was the funniest moment of the night.
WORST MOMENT: Dude, they killed Andy in a skit. That ain't right. Plus, in the other skits he was in, he was in costume. Couldn't see him well. Worst moment was killing Andy. I also give mention to The hillbilly hospital, and Jersey Unicorn salesmen.
SURPRISING MOMENT: With all the hype, shouldn't the Arctic Monkeys be a bit more exciting. I was surprised to see them walk off the stage. They took the yawn hard. And throwing the guitar just wasn't right, unless it is part of your act. Get over it AM. Just cause England is crazy bout ya doesn't mean we will be too. (Remember, we are Americans. We are immature bastards. ;) Keep telling yourselves that, and it'll get better.)
SKIT AVERAGE 3 B
RATING 6.5/10 Sparkling Diamonds
Next week is the rerun with Alec Baldwin, and my favorite singer Shakira. It's either watching this rerun, or something I really wanna see on MTV. I'll record the thing on MTV, cause that way I can keep it. I'll be glad to see Shakira live, though no matter how much of a fan I might be of anyone, artists always seem to sound better on the CD. Special equipment in the studio, ya know.
Next new episode is Antonio Banderas and an unknown musical guest. I have no hopes for musical guests yet, though I wouldn't mind seeing Panic! At The Disco on SNL for some reason. The got Arctic Monkeys, they can get Panic! Good songs. Better than AM.
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