Live from New York, it's Saturday Night! SNL is back after summer hiatus! And, what better way to start off the year with a good host? Marci Klein booked Michael Phelps, 8-gold medal winner, to host the show. Ugh, and it gets worse as far as guests. Lil Wayne decides to try rapping.
Over the summer hiatus, Lorne hired new cast member, Bobby Moynihan. We'll see how he progresses in time to come.
Palin/Clinton Campaign message: Fey appears as Sarah Palin, while Amy must have lost all that head weight of hers, because she looked as thin as she was back in May! (she's pregnant, and she was standing behind an appodium) This sketch soared to make me believe tonight's show would rock my world! Great start.
Opening Credits: Same thing, yet the logos and VPRs have this yellow streak after they leave. Also, if you didn't watch in high-def, you saw the show in 3:5 screen again. Just like how it was before SNL went in high definition.
Monologue: So, we were all over the place for the premiere. Amy did better at mommy Phelps than the real mommy Phelps did at mommy Phelps. Also, Price Line Negotiater spokesman decided to show up, William Shatner! Also, Phelps is starring in a new NBC show this fall! So, even though it had 15 different plots, the monologue was funny.
Quiz Bowl: Much like Common Knowledge, this show quizzes teenagers from public schools and home schools. Kristen almost reminded me of her character back in the Julia-Louis Dreyfus/Paul Simon episode during Unsolved Mysteries. Actually, she did remind me of her. The sketch was actually funny. People will disagree. But, I must ask, Don Roy King hasn't gotten used to the show? I mean, yeah, we've had 3 and a half months off, but still. Someone was sure asleep in the control room. Well, at least we know that Michael Phelps keeps character when he thinks he's not on camera.
Jar Glove: Once again, not many will find this funny, but I did. I know I'll be stating the obvious, but the whole randomness of where this commercial went was great.
Locker Room: Hey, remember that 2nd-worst Peyton Manning/Carrie Underwood sketch of the night? Well, it's back! And guess what! It's exactly the same. Yeah, Forte got some new moves, but nothing that took a giggle out of me. The only thing that made me chuckle was him moving that tape cassette and making that damning sound.
The Retards: Or whatever you want me to call them. Yes, I was really hoping they'd bring this back, but with Seth Rogen!!! Or at least save it for James Franco! Not Michael Phelps! My god! Luckily, this wasn't the exact same replica from the last time they did it. I enjoyed this sketch a little, but, nothing surprised me.
NOTE: To all writers, if you're going to do recurring characters, mix it up a little!!!
Weekend Update: I'll say, this started out very slow. Then, after the first commentary, the jokes finally got their edge. Nicholas Fehn is back. Enough of him! Enough! Fred, make something else! Cathy was somewhat enjoyable. Alaska Pete kind of got things warming up for Update. I'll give him that.
The Charles Barkley Show: Oh, I was so happy to see Kenan's Charles Barkley back. Unfortunately, this sketch went absolutely no where! But, I'll give it the fact that it did have some comedic preference.
T-Mobile's 5: A little late to be doing a commercial about T-Mobile, but ignore that. This sketch was absolutely hilarious. This was probably one of the best sketches of the night.
3022 Olympics: Jesum, the singing digital shorts have been used up. But, I will admit, Andy's hair kept on making me chuckle throughout the whole sketch.
Unos Restaurant: A sketch revolving around Bobby already? Alright. Was the sketch good? No. Not in the least. I'm sure Bobby brought this in from something he wrote earlier in his life. But, come on, it wasn't funny. I want sketches to have me get a click and be like "Oh! That's why they're doing this! That's clever! That's funny!", and throughout the whole sketch, I waited for that click. The click came when I saw the commercial break.
Michael Phelps diet: This was a good last sketch of the night. Amy's pregnancy spoof was great. How many lines did Phelps flub in this sketch alone? Subway's Jared's appearance was out of no where, but funny.
Now, I'm not gonna be a drama queen and say "Is this what our new season is going to look like?!?", because we're simply not there yet. I want to get a taste of the next 3 episode, then judge how this season will play out. I think that the writers gave Phelps these sketches, because they thought he wouldn't fall flat on his face. While we had some sketches that fell flat horribly (Unos Pizzaria, Locker Room, Charles Barkley), we had some actual funny ones (T-Mobile, Palin/Clinton).
But, tonight, I have to give it up for Michael Phelps. He has been the worst host in recent memory of the show. LeBron James and Ellen Page showed him up. He was terrible. I thought tonight would be a "cast night" meaning that the cast would carry the show, but even they couldn't carry his mistakes and bad acting. Which makes me want to give it up to Marci Klein for getting Phelps. Now, I'm not being harsh, I've rewatched the sketches over and over again. Phelps was bad.
This is the first time ever that I muted musical performances, but I did. ... I guess... some people like that.... m... music.
So, in creoble, tonight's episode was just bad writing and bad guest performances. Seriously, by the time the locker room sketch came on, I was biting my nails of how bad things were shaping out to be, as far as Michael Phelps not knowing English nor how to read, those two recurring sketches that were EXACTLY like the originals, and the technical gaffes. The random cameos were enjoyable, but made you think "If only they were hosting..." And, also, the 3:5 screen is hard to get back used to, especially on Update. The technical gaffes were just a case of bad luck tonight. It's the premiere. Don't worry. And lastly, Bobby Moynihan did not please me with that pepper sketch. If all his characters are going to not have a point, and be semi-retarded, then he will be, indeed, the next Horatio Sanz. But, the feeling with him is neutral. It's nice to see that Casey got a good amount of screen time tonight. Once again, I'm not taking this as a preview of our 34th season, yet, I'm just declaring it, as of now, rusty pencils syndrome. RPS.
Next week: James Franco, from Pineapple Express hosts, with musical guest Kings of Leon. I'm excited to see our first indie band of the season. And, trust me, as far as performance, next week will be awesome. Writing? That's not up to me.