Saturday Night Live Season 12 Episode 3

TOMMY "LORNE" FLANAGAN: Tommy Flanagan poses as Lorne Michaels in order to make out with Rosanna Arquette. (Arquette, Hooks, Lovitz, Joe Dicso, Lorne Michaels)

MONOLOGUE: Rosanna Arquette tries to be subtle in her disappointment with the way the country has been run. (Arquette)

THE PEOPLE'S COURT: Hair stylist has contract disagreement with Mephistopheles. (Arquette, Hartman, Hooks, Lovitz, Nealon, Andy Murphy, Marc Shaiman)

CHURCH CHAT: Church Lady chastises Catholic schoolgirl Jenny Baker, host Rosanna Arquette and Cars member Ric Ocasek. (Arquette, Ocasek, Carvey, Hartman(VO), Jackson)

HELMSLEY SPOOK HOUSE: Leona Helmsley shows off her mansion of horrors. (Dunn, Hartman, Hooks)

"EMOTION IN MOTION": (Ocasek)

PORK: Athlete can take pork after good workout. (Nealon)

WEEKEND UPDATE: The Big Picture: A. Whitney Brown feels that censorship is hypocritical of the Constitution. (Brown, Miller)

EDDIE & TWO SAMMIES: Sammy and his friend Sammy watch sports, drink beer, and doubt future accomplishments. (Carvey, Dunn, Hartman, Nealon)

DOG BASEBALL: Dog lover shows how much fun a game of dog baseball can be.

MAKE JOAN BAEZ LAUGH: Comedians try once again to make the serious Joan Baez giggle in her seat. (Dunn, Hartman, Lovitz)

PORK: The heart can handle pork after exercise. (Dunn, Hartman, Jackson)

"KEEP ON LAUGHING": (Ocasek)

MISS CONNIE'S FABLE NOOK: Koko and Mishu teach Lebee an important lesson about patience. (Carvey, Hooks, Miller, Nealon)

I SAW GOD: Young singer believes that God told her to perform. (Arquette, Hartman)

COFFEE AND CIGARETTES: Steven Wright and Roberto Benigni have awkward conversation in cafe. (Roberto Benigni, Steven Wright)