This morning he ate cat poop. Right out of the litter box.
6.5
Somewhere between five and 30 years ago, a website called TVTome existed that, using an extremely rudimentary gray background, presented all the details that TV.com does about every episode of every TV series that ever existed. it also featured reviews, but they weren't user-created. For Saturday Night Live, those reviews were handled by a dude called HeyStu, and most Sundays I looked forward to his take on the previous night's episode of Saturday Night Live. When I read last week that his current incarnation, HelloStuart, was hanging up his fuzzy dice (I imagine reviewership represented by a pair of fuzzy dashboard dice) I decided that, having enjoyed his reviews for so long, I would like to take up that mantle. And since that outdated site became the multimedia marvel you now read, where any fool can add a review, I have decided, at least once, to be that fool. Among various others.
Tonight's host is Ryan Reynolds, who managed over the past decade to go from obscure sitcom star to obscure superhero sidekick to high profile antihero/villain/romantic lead. He's poised to be the American Hugh Jackman. On the musical side, he is joined by Lady Gaga, whom you might be surprised to learn took her name from a Queen song nobody but me remembers.
COLD OPEN: By way of defending himself against charges that he is turning America into Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, Obama (Fred) swears he is in fact doing nothing. It's taken a very eventful yet counterproductive summer for the SNL writers to find their comedic angle with this one (no obvious "Wouldn't be prudent" or "Don't mess with Texas") but they hit the right bittersweet note here as Barry O listed off every agenda item he has neglected so far. The key to the entire sketch was the little slouch he did at the end. Fred's impression is slowly developing into one of those iconic turns, but it isn't there yet.
MONOLOGUE: Reynolds, playing his usual affably smarmy self, outlines the similarities and differences between his superhero and romantic comedy roles. Strangely enough I know some girls who would probably rather the Wolverine movie had been a romantic comedy... the monologues often drag, but Reynolds was born to talk, and this got by on his natural ability.
"Mostly Garbage": In the second ad spoof of the season (which we will come to know better and better as weeks go on,) Jason Sudeikis preaches the virtues of a low-cost dog food product. Since I've seen a garbage bag or two with suspicious dog bite marks on it in my time, I can attest to the authenticity of the humour here. The best ad spoofs are the simple ones, so I don't think I'll mind if this one gets the heavy rotation.
"Celebrity Family Feud": I was having a problem with this skit, until I hopped on Wikipedia to see if there was something about John and Mackenzie Phillips I didn't know but the rest of the audience did. Once I did know, I thought the humour was weak, but the crowd seemed to be going along with it. More accessible was the Osmond humour, but a lot more rudimentary. Uneven but a fair try.
"Throw It On The Ground": Somewhere between a triumph like "Dick in a Box"/"MotherLovers" and nonsense like "Space Olympics" (and last week's naked Optimus Prime) is cute but forgettable fare like this. It picked up by the end, which is usually what can be said for middle-ground efforts like these.
"Mike's Fountainry": First it was Chandeliers. A year later it was "Mawble Coalumns." Now Mike (FA) is back, urging you to class up your place with "Poawcelain Fountains," and his daughter Lexie is back too (Scarlett Johanssen.) In case you weren't aware, there's rule that says if you host Saturday Night Live and your wife is a successful actress, she's invited along too. See Baldwin-Basinger and Timberlake-Biel. Also Hall-Jagger, although she was the one hosting. Hanks-Wilson need not apply, sadly. Aaaanyway, this was a cute retread that offered at least a little bit with Reynolds' character.
"Deep House Dish": Wha? It used to be we saw a Deep House Dish skit every week or so. I don't think there's been one since early last season, and I was happy, but I could smell it a mile away that they were looking to get the eccentrically-dressed Gaga on camera. Since everything building to it was just filler before the inevitable punchline -- the suspense being whether they would make it worthwhile (they didn't) -- it'd be pointless to point out Wiig and Reynolds offered at least one laugh apiece. Instead, we get Gaga and a completely out-of-left-field cameo from Madonna, who was kept at such a distance from the camera I thought it was a feeble impression from Jenny Slate. but no, it was Madonna doing a bad impression of herself. In a tremendously transparent attempt to get people talking, they stage a catfight between two people whose acting ability ranges between a stick and a piece of wet cardboard. The worst part is, it didn't even work -- Access Hollywood decided to glorify the David Letterman zinger instead.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: The best and worst thing about Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" is that the first time you hear it, it sounds like you've heard it a thousand times before. This isn't always a bad thing, as with past hits like Gnarls Barkley's Crazy and OutKast's Hey Ya, but in this case it's just... whatever. It seemed like her enthusiasm for her own performance was waning by the end of it, as she was notably outdone by her own backing track. I've always felt that, if you can't at least fake it, dance music isn't ideal for SNL. It's all well and good to record "Papa-Papa-razzi" once and loop it over for five minutes on the CD, it's another when you have to sing every verse live on TV. This was remedied in the next performance...
WEEKEND UPDATE: Seth strung together some good one-liners, but the real attractions here are the commentaries. Hammond's Schwarzenegger's riff about wishing to export fire to other states was delightfully absurd, and Kenan's Charles Barkley impression can make me forgive everything he's ever done to offend me, including the Deep House Dish sketch from ten minutes earlier, and Good Burger. But the best part was Nasim Pedrad, making a big splash in her first notable appearance as Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's wife. "Why are you smiling all the time? Nobody likes you!" They need to make a Honeymooners-style skit out of this pairing.
"So You Committed a Crime ... and You Think you Can Dance?": Basically exactly what it says on the tin. I could see where the joke was supposed to be coming from, but it didn't land, and the judges didn't do anything, which is a shame because I really thought for a second Abby Elliot was going to do something as Nancy Grace. "International Masterworks": Oh but God help me I love accent humour. I may be the only person who liked this skit, but I liked it enough for ten.
MUSICAL PERFORMANCE: I guess that when you own a gyroscope dress, you need to use every opportunity to get out in it. (/obviousjokes.) And it clearly wasn't designed for jobs where you have to sit down, like piano playing, or for that matter receptionist or social worker. (/slightlylessobvious.) The problem with this medley, as it swerved from dancepop to piano balladry (Billy Joel meets Randy Newman but female?) is that it created an appetite in me for a song I'm pretty sure Gaga didn't record, a version of her hit Pokerface that strips it down to its emotional core and underlines the complex issues embroidered in the lyrics. No, I'm kidding, but it actually did sound good and conveyed some actual singing ability. If it were at all representative of her as an artist I'd like it more, but nah, she was just being showy, and it's back to GarageBand loops for the next album.
"Bubble Dresses Backstage": So now that we have established Gaga's rather idiosyncratic fashion sense, it's time for a skit about it, effectively snipping the host Reynolds out of the last quarter hour or so of the show for a flimsy five-to-one skit someone probably wrote on their cigarette break.
Reynolds made a great host, but was pushed to the sidelines for a lot of the skits, where he often played support to the main cast rather than building a skit around himself (Donny Osmond, the Fountain skit, Felons dancing) so what we got was a cast-centric outing with a few cute cameos and greater-than-usual musical guest participation (Aerosmith she ain't.) I'd like to see Reynolds come back and make a mark, but tonight was not happening for him.
As for Gaga, well. If I had to judge (and, being a reviewer, I guess it's my job,) I'd say she's cut from that Madonna cloth where she is determined to not be a fad, and to maintain her status as long as she possibly can, to the point where she may someday become an institution. That's great news, because 20 years from now we are going to need someone to make fun of the way we make fun of Madonna. I'd rather have MIA, who is socially conscious and samples the Clash rather than Boney M, but life is unfair. I'll try to come back and do more reviews on Saturday nights when I have nothing better going on. Thank you for your time, you can catch my less-wordy reviews on Twitter @sawreviewsmoreless