C-Span Press Conference: George Bush takes questions from interviewers, while he has special nicknames for all of them, and he keeps on making excuses on not doing his job.
Scarlett Johansson's Monologue: Scarlett and Sanjaya Malakar sing Bonnie Raitt's "Something to Talk About" while Sanjaya keeps on changing his hair due, and Ashley Ferl cries.
Live With Regis & Kelly: Regis is back from his triple bi-pass surgery, and Kelly tells him that Howey Mandel is ready to fill in. Ivanka Trump guest stars.
MRS. HASTINGS: Virginica Hastings and her step-daughter try to annoy and buy a prom dress off a snobby salesman.
ROY RULES! (Digital Short): Andy sings about how he wants to have sex with his brother-in-law, Roy.
MIKE'S MARBLE COLUMNS: Mike and his daughter Lexi try to get you to buy marble columns.
WIIX News: The bi-curious Michelle Dison is back to interview people in her segment, "Around the Town", after she had a relapse in her orientation months earlier.
Musical Performance: Bjork performs "Earth Intruders".
Weekend Update: Amy and Seth co-anchor. Will Forte sings a song for Earth Day, while Fred plays the guitar.
Kuatos: While houseguests are over, Danny and Susan both bring out their Kuatos, while everybody is grossed out.
Newsmakers: Jane Pauley shows us YouTube clips of commercials and embarrassing moments.
TORBOTO (Cartoon): George Bush and Dick Cheney look at the new robot who can destroy enemies, or allies.
Musical Performance: Bjork performs "Wanderlust."