Saturday Night Live

Season 35 Episode 9

Taylor Lautner/Bon Jovi

Aired Saturday 11:30 PM Dec 12, 2009 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
56 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Live from New York, it's... Jason Sudeikis! Sketches include "Gov. Sanford, Sen. Ensign, and Sen. Edwards," "Rose Bowl Shoot," "Sue and the Baby," "A Message from the PGA Tour" (three parts), "Middle School Jingle Jam," "Twilight Science Partners," "Yogurt Shop Flirting," and "Doorbells and More." Bon Jovi performed "Superman Tonight" and "When We Were Beautiful."moreless

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  • A Little Late

    Ok, this is going to be short and sweet. I'm two reviews behind, so, Taylor Lautner.... I wasn't all that excited when I heard he was hosting, but I'm sure he was going to do better than the other guy from New Moon... that guy seemed very "I'm better than most", so I would pick Taylor Lautner over the other one. I haven't seen New Moon, so I don't know how good Taylr Lautner's skills are.

    Our musical guest is Bon Jovi. ...Yeah.

    Adulterers Press Conerence: This was a pretty funny sketch opener due to the recent (at the time) Tiger Woods news, but it was somewhat drawn out.

    Monologue: I can already see Taylor isn't going to be bad as a host. He was very good in this monologue, and Kenan as Reba made me laugh pretty hard. I loved the missed kick, by the way.

    Rose Bowl Promo: This wasn't a good way to start off the show. I didn't laugh much at this, even though some parts made me chuckle.

    Sue: This is long overused ever since the first time they did this and they've only done this three times. This was better than the Josh Brolin one, though.

    PGA Tour: This was a good introduction to the 3-part stint.

    Show Choir: This was such a bizarre sketch, that I laughed. I just laughed at how obnoxious Andy was and it was just such a simple, yet not out-done premise.

    PGA Tour Part Dos: I loved the sponsors in the back, and Jason really pulled this off.

    Musical Performance: Bon Jovi performed "Superman Tonight"... yay..

    Weekend Update: The jokes were okay, and Nasim's commentary wasn't all too funny. Fred made me laugh as Billy Smith, though.

    Lab Partners: A Twilight fan would probably have a field day with this sketch in celebration, but to me, it wasn't all that funny. I chuckled at a few parts of this, but, yeah.

    PGA Tour Part 3: I laughed so hard at the letter "Q" being a sponsor. This was a really good way to tie this up.

    Eternal Sparks of Love: This was probably the funniest sketch of the night. It was so weird, but I laughed so hard at Kenan's performance.

    Musical Performance: Bon Jovi performed "When We Were Beautiful".

    Doorbells: This was a pretty funny sketch, and I'm glad to see Jenny having a successful sketch to herself.

    Tonight's show was a pretty above average show, and Taylor was actually a decent enough host. Bon Jovi was toned down, so big points for that! Jon didn't even have a line tonight, so tonight was a huge improvement from the October 2007 episode.

    I'm glad to see Jenny had a break-out episode. She seems like a wonderful character actress, and I'm excited to see what else comes from her.

    Next week (Yeah, I'm 3 weeks behind): James Franco hosts with musical guest MUSE!!!moreless
  • "Ding Dong. Like, uh, Happy Hanukkah"

    "Twilight" star Taylor Lautner hosts and the last relic of 80s hair metal still standing, Bon Jovi, performs Cold Open- Mark Sanford (Jason), John Edwards (Will) and John Ensign (Bill) question why the media is doing extensive coverage of the Tiger Woods affair scandal and not theirs. Well, the media did mention all their scandals, months ago. Two, seemed to be not much more than an excuse for fill time and have everyone do their worst political impression. Monologue- Lautner gives a creepy shout out to "Reba MacEntire" (Kenan, if anyone remembers the digital short from 11/21) then mentions what he would've done to help his love interest Taylor Swift at the VMA's when Kanye comes onstage; Then does something where he shows off his karate skills and attempts to kick, and misses twice, a dummy Kanye West. Resurrecting celebrity gossip from 3 months ago, that no one even remembers now, is tired. Also, the Kanye thing was already discussed and put to rest by Taylor Swift last month.

    Rose Bowl promos- a quarterback (Lautner) showcases his unnatural smile and awkward gestures for the camera during the shoot. One-joke and it wasn't even a good one. Bill's expression, "Ohh, boy" sums it up.

    Sue and the pregnancy announcement- Sue (Kristin) becomes overtly excited at the news of a couple's (Abby, Lautner) pregnancy. You've seen one you've seen them all.

    A Message from the PGA Tour (3 parts) – Ladies and gentlemen, the first funny sketch of the night, the PGA spokesman (Jason) increasingly becomes irratic and crazy as the PGA tour loses sponsors, is reduced to no name golfers all the result of Tiger Woods scandal; perfect way to handle the topic. Also, the lower quality sponsors are a hoot: Bernie Madoff investments, the letter Q and the movie "Old Dogs".

    Middle School Choir- Choir performs Christmas medly for audience only for it be insulted by one (Andy). Good premise, weak execution; though, I enjoyed Andy and Will's characters, just not enough to like the sketch

    Jon Bongiovi, Jr and his band perform their insipidly mediocre rocker, "Superman Tonight"

    Weekend Update with Seth Meyers- Mistress #15 (Nasim) talks about her relationship with Tiger Woods; after a five year absence, Native American comedian Billy Smith (Fred) performs another comedy routine instead of talking about the recent payment of monies to the U.S.'s indigenous people; and Seth hits a high notes with a few jokes (the gecko joke comes to mind); Solid edition.

    Twilight Debate- During science class, two girls (Lautner, Jenny) refuse to partner up because their own opposite views in the Edward vs Jacob debate. I guess if I was a teen girl I would get what they were debating, since I'm not, I don't care; and the sloppy technical errors throughout the sketch didn't help either.

    Yogurt Connections- teens (Lautner, Abby) bond over yogurt, with interspersed commentary by some type of Isaac Hayes-like fellow (Kenan) on a conveyor belt. I think the execution of this bizarre sketch suceeds, just barely. Also, seeing Kenan nearly fall off the conveyor belt had me in stitches.

    Jon Bongiovi, Jr and crew return to perform the syrupy ballad "When We Were Beautiful"

    Doorbells and More- A perky Latina (Jenny) showcases her doorbell selection that features her deadpan voice on every selection giving a blunt explanation of the theme. The 10-to-1 sketches have been great lately and this one is another entry into that category. With exceptions for PGA, Yogurt, and Doorbells, this show was mediocre. Lautner, while not terrible, was not fantastic either. He was…..just there. 5/10moreless
  • The losing streak continues without much hope for a turnaround.

    Politico Infidelity cold open - I guess somebody felt the need to do the requisite political cold open and somehow tie it in with the Tiger scandal. Not a bad idea, but a terribly poor execution. The "twist" joke is introduced in the first 30 seconds and then riffed upon for the next 3 minutes. Supposedly these guys are incensed that they are no longer receiving any media coverage because of Tiger. This might have been funnier if they actually HAD been receiving media coverage within the past few months. These jackasses were old news long before Tiger lost his stripes. And having Forte as Edwards repeat "I had a love child" ad infinitum does not make a weak line any funnier. Sour opening. Grade: D

    Monologue - The "I don't have a clue who this is" parade of hosts continues with some teen heartthrob. I picked up that he was a werewolf in Twilight from his intro. Still, what else has he done? Is any flash-in-the-pan allowed to host these days? Anyway, the monologue was surprisingly funny with Taylor exhibiting an extraordinary degree of athleticism and some nice karate moves. His attacks on Kanye were a great idea and well done. Knocking Kanye's head off was the icing on the cake. Like Joseph Gordon Levitt, Taylor's monologue implied that he would do well with some physical comedy. Alas, this was not to be the case. Grade: A

    Rose Bowl Promo Shoot - A simple enough concept that started off funny but got old very quickly. Taylor showed some nice robot moves, but there wasn't much else there. I'm glad they ended it before Andy could start mugging. Grade: C

    Sue's Baby Scare - Another Wiig character that does the same thing every time. I personally never found Sue to be very funny and there was nothing this time to change my mind. Grade: D

    PGA Tour (three parts) - It started off OK but got less funny with each appearance. By the third time, Suds was supposed to be completely drunk and depressed at the prospect of a PGA Tour without Tiger. Not a bad idea, it just seemed like a thrown together series of sketches. Grade: C-

    Middle School Jingle Jam - Lame holiday singing and dancing heckled by the reliably unfunny Andy. This actually would have been funnier without Andy's role. As it was, the constant interruptions added nothing and lessened whatever little momentum the singers were generating. Grade: C-

    Weekend Update - A lot of good jokes by Seth and a terrible appearance by Nassim as mistress number 15. She used the same voice as she did for Kim Kardashian. Nice range. It was kind of weird to see Fred's Native American comedian return after all of these years. I liked him a long time ago when Fallon used to host WU, but it just wasn't as good this time around. Still, the jokes kept WU afloat. Grade: B+

    Twilight Science Partners - A really terrible sketch unless, I guess, you are 15 years old and female. Very poor writing and acting. Grade: F

    Yogurt Shop Flirting - Here we have Kenan introducing a new character: a cross between Barry White and Issac Hayes. He comments on Taylor's lame attempts to pick up the girl, but it just doesn't go anywhere. The sketch lacks the bite and raunch of The Ladies Man and Kenan's constant interjections become tedious rather than increasingly humorous. A dud. Grade: D

    Doorbells and More - Ding Dong. Jenny Slate's first solo shot heads straight for the ocean floor. She may be talented. Who knows? But this sketch did nothing to increase her standing. Ding Dong. Grade: D

    Overall - It is only hope and habit that have kept me watching this long into such a bad season. I suspect there the writing staff is populated by some very clueless people. There have been some absolutely mind-boggling things going on that SNL refuses to comment on. Like Obama refusing to return the $200 billions surplus TARP money, cash for clunkers (unions), the endless propaganda on swine flu and climate change (not saying these aren't a problem, just that some companies, including GE, will make $$$ off of this), Geithner's acknowledgment that he paid 100 cents on the dollar to bail out AIG when many of the counterparties were willing to take significantly less. Maybe some of these topics are too complex, but the writers did a decent job of covering the car bailouts and congressional hearings over the economic calamity last year. This year the humor seems to be aimed at tweens and brainless adults. Grade: D+moreless
  • Taylor Lautner hosts.

    Taylor Lautner becomes the latest teen icon to host, after Blake Lively and Taylor Swift did it recently. You know him from the canceled NBC drama My Own Worst Enemy. I think that's all he's done, no big movies or anything, but I'll check IMDB to confirm that.

    No Bon Jovi sketches kind of annoyed me, as did the lack of a digital short.

    --- Cold Opening: SNL has shown some political bias in the past, but to suggest that Tiger Woods' affairs are somehow excusable because political figures have done it is really low, even for this show. Forgettable segment.

    Monologue: Not much here, although at least it wasn't January Jones.

    Football Photo Session: The crowd is really into Lautner, but this sketch was pretty stupid as a whole, contingent on a football player's inability to smile or act naturally during a photoshoot.

    Sue: Another Sue sketch, but this was a little better than the previous ones. This show has not begun with a lot of momentum and this certainly did not help the show gain any at all.

    PGA Tour: Nice, fast-moving sketch, that appeared in three parts, about the possible struggle of the PGA Tour with Tiger Woods gone.

    Middle School Choir: Nice sketch, but it lasted about two long. Would have been better as a 2-3 minute one. Taylor Lautner is not really very funny, but he's trying his best out there and has certainly done better than some recent hosts.

    Weekend Update: Fairly poor effort from Seth, and the guests seemed phoned in. Billy Smith, Native american comedian was not too different from Fred Armisen's other comedian characters, and Tiger Woods' 15th mistress was pretty much the same as Nasim's Kim Kardashian impression.

    Team Jacob vs. Team Edward: A lot of youth-oriented sketches tonight, but I guess that was to be expected given who the host was. Lautner showed some personality here, and I liked the breaking the fourth wall with Lautner admitting his abs were CGI. Making Connections: Our first Kenan-centric sketch of the night, and it was kind of funny, revolving around a charismatic "speaker" discussing two teens connecting at a frozen yogurt store in the mall. About your typical late show sketch. Doorbells: Stupid sketch involving various doorbells designed for people featuring the voice of a stereotypical Hispanic woman. This is what 12:52 AM was created for.moreless

Featured Episode Clip

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (0)

  • QUOTES (0)

  • NOTES (3)

    • Sketches/segments not shown in the 60 minute version: the Tiger Woods' mistress segment on Weekend Update, Bon Jovi's performance of "When We Were Beautiful," the second "PGA" ad, "School Choir," "Twilight Debate," "Eternal Spark of Love," and "Doorbells & More."

    • Sketches cut after dress rehearsal: Bladdivan (rerun from Megan Fox/U2); following a radioactive bite, a man (Taylor Lautner) changes into various animal species; a guy (Fred Armisen) wants to nurture the development of famous fathers; a son (Taylor Lautner) is embarassed by his family's overly affectionate habits; an actor (Taylor Lautner) is frightened while working with violent primates; and on Weekend Update, Jon Bovi (Jason Sudiekis, Will Forte) sing more opposite songs.

    • This broadcast was dedicated to the memory of former SNL technical director Heino Ripp, who passed away on December 10th, 2009.