Dr. Gross said that Dr. Cox is 40. However, in "My Growing Pains" (which happened 4 years after), Dr. Cox said that he's 47.
In the scene where JD and the Janitor are in the elevator, the Janitor pulls the end of the duct tape with his right hand but when the elevetor door opens, he is holding the end of the duct tape with his left hand.
"The Stripper" by David Rose
"Question" by Old 97's
When Jenny is going to sit besides Turk we can see her lips aren't moving, although we hear her asking him a question.
In the scene where the Janitor asks J.D. to stop the elevator, we can clearly see twice that it's the fourth floor, but after the Janitor races to get the elevator in another floor, the elevator light shows it's still the fourth floor.
Girl Names for J.D.: Betsy, Katie and Lily
This was the first appearance of Johnny the Tackling Alzheimer patient who appears throughout the show and another time when the point of view is from JD's new intern in Season 5. He asks "Who am I?" while jumping on J.D.
Elliot: Oh, please. You all wish you could bag a nurse.
Dr. Zeltzer: She's right.
Dr. Kelso: Shut up, Zeltzer!
Dr. Zeltzer: You shut up.
Elliot: Paul. I know that I've been acting like an insecure idiot, but... if you'll forgive me, I'd love to take you for dinner tonight.
Paul: Screw that. I'll cook for you. I've only got one apron, though, so bring your own if you want to wear one.
Dr. Cox's Narration: Oh, what the hell, he's a decent kid. Be a man and apologize to him, from the heart for once.
Dr. Cox: Oh, for God's sake, Lilly, stop being such a complete wuss and come back to work with me!
Janitor: How you doing.
J.D.: Did you just climb down an elevator shaft to torment me?
Janitor: Well, sometimes in life you gotta do what you gotta do.
Turk: Nothing, it's just-it's just weird seeing you out in the real world, you know, I feel kind of guilty. 'Cause you're so nice to me and my buddy, and we've never even had a real conversation. Instead, we act like school kids and argue over who we think you got a crush on.
Jenny: Oh, it's totally you.
Jenny: Vanilla over chocolate? Please.
Jenny: Are you talking to your chili dog!?
Turk: What? Hey! Uh, yeah, well, I find that they don't repeat on me as much if I'm real friendly to 'em.
Janitor: Bat Cave.
J.D.: Hi, yeah, I'm stuck in the elevator?
Janitor: Yeah... I'm afraid it might be a little while.
J.D.: Because you did this!
Janitor: Aw, now, I think we both know you did this to yourself.
Dr. Cox: Boy, I gotta say, your wife is hotter than I ever imagined. Arrrrrrrrrrr... me-ow!
Dr. Gross: Hello, Perry. You're obviously trying to bully me, but you can't bully me because I don't fear you. Now, I'm leaving.
Dr. Cox: Kelso asked me to give him a physical, I did it, he said "thank you" and told me he owed me one.
Dr. Gross: You actually made a decision that benefited your life personally and professionally?
Dr. Cox: Well, a resident kinda talked me into it.
Dr. Gross: Yeah, come on, you're telling me that you took the advice of another human being? This is a great moment for me.
Dr. Cox: Congratulations.
Elliot: Great. Why did you do that?
Paul: You know, Elliot, what I do for a living, it doesn't make me feel like I'm any less of a man. Neither does my love of baking... or gardening... or the fact that I occasionally menstruate.
Elliot: Nurse, I need... clean sheets right away to room one... thousand.
Paul: Uh, she's covering because she's embarrassed that she likes a nurse. And I really can't figure out why.
Dr. Kelso: Well, that's because you're doing a woman's job, son. Have a good one.
Paul: I'll bet you never made out in there before.
Elliot cracks up laughing.
Elliot: No, never!
Dr. Cox: What is it, there, Bobbo.
Dr. Kelso: I'm sorry.
Dr. Cox: What did you say?
Dr. Kelso: I spoke to my cardiologist, and he said if you hadn't caught my high blood-pressure, and it had continued unchecked, it, uh, might have resulted in a mild case of... death.
Dr. Cox: Keep it together, there, pee-pants. You now have six seconds to find that soda you were holding for me.
Doug: Has anyone seen a soda? Oh, for the love of God!
J.D.: Ahhh, eight strips of bacon! That girl is all about the J.Dizzle.
Turk: Oh, yeah?
J.D.: Oh, my God, it's pancake man.
Turk: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.
Paul: Okay, wait, wait, wait. Now, are you kissing me because you actually want this to go somewhere, or because you feel bad about blowing me off yesterday? Actually, I don't care either way.
Elliot: Cheer-up hug?
Elliot: Well, when I was little, and something made me sad, my mom would always have the maid give me a cheer-up hug.
Carla: Ahhh, further explaining your love of the Latino people.
Doug: Uh, Dr. Cox. I was the one who switched with J.D.
Dr. Cox: Nervous Guy... How you feeling?
Doug: A little nervous.
Dr. Cox: Oh, that's okay. Don't worry about a thing, 'cause I'm gonna ease you in. Here's the deal: You have exactly eight seconds to find this patient's chart or you're through here.
Doug: God! Chart? Chart? Anyone?
Laverne: You want me to look for it?
Doug: Did anyone see a chart?!
Dr. Cox: Nah, I got the chart right here.
J.D.: I've been doing some thinking, about how you're always blaming me for everything, and how you just send a constant stream of crap my way... and I decided I need a break.
Dr. Cox: So, what'd you come by to tell me you're a complete wuss?
J.D.: No. I... came over here to tell you that I traded with another resident and switched off your service for a while.
Dr. Cox: Well, tears-&-hugs, there, Katie. But, unless you want to come inside, here, and give one of the fellas a lap-dance, I'm afraid I gotta say Sayonara, 'cause I got twenty guys in here and it's about to get nutty! All the best, baby.
Dr. Cox: If it isn't my favorite career counselor. You wouldn't happen to have any more tips on how to climb down the ladder, would ya?
Dr. Gross: Fine. You want to know what I really think? Your problem isn't that you make bad choices, it's that you identify the good choice and then intentionally do the opposite. You see, behind this boorish bravado of yours is a paralyzing fear of letting anyone into your life. And it isn't because you weren't loved when you were a kid, it's because you're so ego-centered that the love wasn't enough. So, you pulled pig-tails and you pushed the fat kids into the dirt so no one could ignore little Perry. Well "little Perry" is now forty years old. And you're so invested in this neurotic, narcissistic notion of yourself as "loner" that you can't quit. And you'll just keep dumping on everyone around you, until eventually - and please, trust me on this - there won't be anyone left.
Dr. Cox's Narration: There's a million reasons a relationship can crash and burn...
Dr. Cox: Boo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo. Gimme a break.
Dr. Gross: I got very drunk last night... And I decided that I'm not giving up on you. So... how'd you do with my counting exercise?
Dr. Cox: Honestly, I tried it once and I thought it was stupid.
Dr. Gross: That's it - we're done.
Dr. Cox: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're dumping me?
Dr. Gross: I hope we can remain friends!
Paul: Whoa, Doctor! Hey, I'm not that type of gal.
Elliot: Shut up, Paul! You are a man! And I am a woman!
Todd: Hey, Elliot, I heard you got your nursing degree in the 'male'... nurse!
Carla: It's not The Todd.
Turk: It's gotta be The Todd.
Carla: Turk, will you stop? Yes, I've never been a big fan of surgeons. And, yes, I worry about your maturity sometimes - I'm a worrier, it's what I do. But you have got to stop trying to pinpoint what the reason is.
Turk: 'Cause there's so many of them, right? I mean, you don't like who I am... you don't like what I do...
Carla: Come on. I like the way I have to stand up on my tippy-toes to kiss you.
Turk: It's not enough.
Turk: Baby, I figured it out. This is what you're afraid of: The typical surgeon - a dumb, arrogant frat-boy whose behavior is so disgusting, it is embarrassing for a woman to be seen with him. No offense, buddy.
Todd: None taken. Hey, I gotta run. They're doing a breast reduction on three, and I want to get up there and try and stop it! You know what I'm talking about!
Dr. Kelso: You! And your damn physical! Thanks to the high blood pressure you found, my insurance premium is gonna cost me an extra six grand this year! That's six grand my wife already spent on a new chin! If I were you, I would be planning to work every holiday from now until a few months after you're dead!
Dr. Cox: So, I'll see you fellas tonight, what, around 7:30? Don't be late, or you won't get a seat!
J.D.: I'll bring the Fluffer Nutters!
Dr. Cox: Newbie, I'd invite you, unfortunately it's guys only.
Laverne: Dr. Reid... Nurse Paul... dating.
Dr. Cox: Giant "Who cares?"
Elliot: It's no big deal - you guys are the only ones who know... And Nurse Roberts... She's not that much of a gossip. Is she?
Janitor: Morning, ma'am.
Patient: I can't move my head.
Janitor: So what?
J.D.: How's it going?
Patient: I just got my vertebrae fused.
J.D.: I got nothing.
Dr. Cox: You're not suggesting that I rubber-stamp your insurance physical, are you, there, Bobbo?
Dr. Kelso: Just... sign the damn form!
Dr. Cox: Or... you could take your shirt off right now and be done with all this in the next five minutes. I am not going to make this uncomfortable for you, come on, I'm a professional.
Dr. Kelso: Okay.
Dr. Cox(humming "The Stripper"): Buh-duh-na-duhhh...ooh... ba-duh-duh-duhhh... da-bow! Had to be done, Bob. Continue, handsome.
Dr. Cox: All right, so here's the deal: I want to see all you guys at my place tonight - even you, Zeltzer. Get there around 7:30, it's gonna be great; we're gonna have food, booze, the whole nine yards.
Dr. Zeltzer: Uh, will there be prostitutes?
Dr. Cox: Noo!
Dr. Zeltzer: Oh, uh, good.
Turk: Marry me.
Carla: Still thinking.
Turk: Okay. Baby, I have finally figured out what's bothering you, though.
Turk: Yep. You think I haven't played the field enough.
Turk: Well, I just want you to know that I have had a long, productive playing career, over which time I have slept with many, many women... And by "many, many women" I mean... three.
Turk: Take away two, equals one, and that's you. Marry me?
Paul: Dr. Reid!
Elliot: Hey! Uh, Nurse... um... Paul.
Paul: It's Paul Flowers, actually.
Elliot: Oh, Laverne, I am so excited about this doctor that I just met. He's nice... and humble... I just hate it how so many doctors are so self-centered, you know?
Laverne: Mm. I know exactly what you mean, girl. Just yesterday, I was-
Elliot: Oh, and he's so cute, too!
Laverne: Mm-hmm. Well, just run one of the other nurses down here with some bedpans, please.
Nurse: Laverne, why can't you do it?
Laverne: 'Cause I've been here for twenty-three years and my feet hurt, that's why.
J.D.: You should just do it.
Dr. Cox: Really?
J.D.: Well, it'd only take fifteen minutes of your life, and it wouldn't hurt to be in good with him for once.
Dr. Cox: You're giving me advice?
Shrink: Okay, the next time you feel the anger welling up in your meaty chest-
Dr. Cox: Oh, give it to me.
Shrink: ...I want you to take a deep breath and count to ten before you react. Do you think you could do that, Perry?
Dr. Cox: For the record, I'm not a child. Okay?
Dr. Cox: Anyway, I have invited a couple of my friends over to the apartment while she's gonna to be gone - we're gonna have some beers, watch the game, it's gonna be great - and I was wondering if you-
Shrink: I'm not your friend!
Dr. Cox: They're not, either.
Dr. Cox: Listen, Doctor, while we're on me, just for a second, uh, my very pregnant ex-wife would like me to take a couple of days off and travel to her mother's house so that we can reconnect as a family.
Shrink: And I assume that you told her to blow it out her ass.
Dr. Cox: You get me! Darn it, you do!
Shrink: Yes... We're like two peas in a horrible, horrible pod.
Dr. Cox's Narration: See, I have an appointment to see my shrink, and it feels like there's a little friction between us.
Dr. Gross: You will not beat me.
J.D.'s Narration: Yep, everything is just great. I feel like, for the first time since I started here, I have no stories to tell.
Dr. Cox's Narration: Sometimes you know it's gonna be a crappy day from the moment you wake up. Today was one of those days.
J.D.'s Narration: I've gotta say, life is pretty good. I've hit my stride as a doctor, all my patients are doing well, and I've finally figured out that, even though they're horribly uncomfortable, my medium scrubs have a large effect on the ladies.
Turk: Come on, citizens! Let me hear ya! Honk in the name of love!
J.D.: Honk for love! Honk for love!
Elliot: I had so much fun tonight. I hope I didn't talk about myself too much.
Paul: Hey, Elliot, I said I wanted to know everything about you... and now I do.
Jenny: And here are your shakes.
J.D.: Thank you, Jenny. Hey, wait, Jenny. Uh, what flavor do you usually go for: Do you like chocolate or vanilla?
Jenny: I'm a vanilla girl.
Jenny: I'll go get you some more towels.
Turk: Go ahead and say it.
J.D.: She got Jungle Fever! She got Jungle Fever!
Jenny: Here you go, fellas.
J.D. and Turk: Thank you, Jenny.
J.D.: Yoooooooo! Check out these fries! That girl is so in to me.
Turk: Please, she's totally crushing on the brother.
J.D.: Why, because you're black?
Turk: 'Kay, let's get one thing straight: This has nothing to do with me being black - this has something to do with me being smoother...
The bottle of ketchup he's smacking suddenly splats on his face
Paul: Don't you hate it when people yap away on their cell phones.
Elliot: She is my friend... But she is so rude.
Paul: Hey, don't you work at the hospital, too?
Elliot: Yeah. Um... I actually just got off a double shift, that's... why I look so gross.
Paul: You don't look gross. And you know what? You don't even think you look gross. I'm guessing you're one of those girls who uses the self-deprecating thing as a defense mechanism; even though, without looking, you can tell right now how many guys are checking you out.
Elliot: Okay, five.
Paul: No, no. Actually, it's four - the guy in the mullet, he's checking me out. I let him buy my last two drinks.
Turk: Woo-hoo! You said yes! We're getting married! We're getting married!
Carla: Turk. Stop celebrating - that's just how I answer the phone... Honey, it's only been ten minutes since we last talked...
Turk: The point is, I have figured out why you're not ready to marry me yet. You think I'm too immature.
Carla: It's not about that.
Turk: Is it my sleep toots? 'Cause, Baby, I will stop having dairy after six.
Turk: Baby, you know how much I care about you, right?
Carla: I'm dizzy.
Turk: Yeah, you're fine. Honey, I know it looked really bad last night, with me and Kevin coming home all liquored up with a really hot chick, but Kevin was freaking out about his divorce and I was just trying to be supportive.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, by dragging home some random bar skank.
Turk: Yeah, dude, you're not helping.
Dr. Cox: Not trying to help.
J.D.'s Narration: Turk's relationship is so messed up right now that I decided to lighten his mood. And nothing cracks him up more than the old block-the-door-with-my-foot gag.
J.D.'s foot blocks the automatic door and Carla bashes into it
Carla: Ooh! Ow! Oh, oh, okay.
J.D.'s Narration: Oops. Wrong person.
Dr. Cox's Narration: I decided to then swallow my pride and ask Dr. Gross to take me back.
(Cuts away to Cox in Dr. Gross' office)
Dr. Gross: I have a hammer in my desk.
(Cuts back to Cox in hospital)
Dr. Cox's Narration: It did not go well.
J.D.: So you're just going to keep asking her until she says yes?
Turk: If you love someone you have to be willing to break their spirit.
Elliot: Listen up everybody! I appreciate solidarity, but I did not blow off Paul because he's a nurse; so, please stop leaving bedpans in my locker - it makes me cry. Paul and I are just...different, okay.
Carla: Please, Elliot, this is not about Paul... This is about you! This is about you not being able to commit, because committing means saying goodbye to whatever unfulfilled fantasy of love you've concocted after seeing too many Meg Ryan movies. But men don't come and make everything all better - they're only human. And you shouldn't punish him because you were forced to grow up so fast you never learned how to let someone else take care of you. He's not your father, okay, he's not necessarily gonna disappear at the first sign of trouble. And, as scary as it is to consider letting yourself be truly vulnerable with another human being, what's even scarier is that deep down inside you know you picked this man...and if you run away from him now, you'll be running away from being the kind of person you always wanted to be.
Elliot: Carla, I...just met the guy!
Dr. Cox's Narration: Must... fight urge... to rub it... in his face!
Dr. Kelso: Anyway, I owe you one.
Dr. Cox's Narration: Must... rub something... in... someone's... face!
Dr. Cox: How's that coma going for ya, there, pal?
Dr. Cox's Narration: Much better!
Elliot: I'm dating a murse.
J.D.: Better than a 'mecretary'. Or a 'manicurist'. No, that works.
Paul: Hey, fresh bedpans, here. Get 'em before they're hot.
J.D.: Morning, Dr. Cox!
Dr. Cox's Narration: Gladys! Ginger! Tiffany! No, Cheryl! Betsy... Betsy! Mm! That's new!
Dr. Cox: Betsy, good morning. Let's make with the chop-chop.
J.D.: You know, you already used Betsy, like, six months ago.
Dr. Cox: I don't care!
Dr. Cox's Narration: Dammit!
Carla: So, he just said he was gonna keep asking until I said yes.
Elliot: That was exactly how I lost my virginity. Except, I'm guessing Turk didn't propose in Jim Vilicetti's crawl-space.
Doug: Aaah Doctor Cox? Umm I just wanted to tell you... umm...
Dr. Cox's Narration: One... two... ten!
Dr. Cox: Finish the sentence in the next two seconds or start running. Oh dear God, you're actually frozen with fear. Alright, don't worry about a thing, I'm going to talk you through this - I want you to relax, take a big breath and now... get out of here! You go, go, go, go, go!
Dr. Kelso: Perry! Hi. How are you, etcetera. The wife and I just took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.
Dr. Cox: Bob, the day I willingly cradle your dusty old twig and berries and get a whiff of your chronic halitosis while you turn your head and cough, is the day you can look for me up on the roof singing "I Believe I Can Fly."
Dr. Kelso: Great stuff. See you about twoish.
Dr. Cox: No matter where you go in life, always keep an eye out for Johnny the Tackling Alzheimer's Patient.
J.D.: What's that supposed to mean?
Johnny the Tackling Alzheimer's Patient: (tackles J.D.) Who am I??!!
Dr. Cox: What do you say there Bob? How 'bout we do just like you do with Enid. Close our eyes, pretend we're with someone else and be done before Leno starts.
Dr. Kelso: Save the racket for the tennis court big guy. I have taken the liberty of filling out the form. All you have to do is sign below where it says "fit as a twenty-six year old."
Dr. Cox: Oh now, please don't take away the privilage of letting me pay you two hundred dollars an hour so that I can drag my ass in here and watch you nod. God knows the only other place I can get that on the planet is from my Brett Favre bobble-head doll.
Original International Airdates:
Czech Republic: February 18, 2013 on Prima COOL
This is the only episode in season two with a title not beginning with "My". This episode is also one of the only seven episodes with a title not beginning with "My" in all the seasons. There is one episode without "My" as the beginning word in every season, except for season one.
Eric Bogosian (Dr. Cox's psychiatrist Dr. Gross) also starred in the movie "Talk Radio" with John C. McGinley (Dr. Cox).
Paul, Elliot's affair, is the first male nurse to appear in the show.
The title is a reference to it being from Dr. Cox's point of view rather than J.D.'s point of view. All the others start with "My..."
This is the second episode in which the narration is done by someone else. Todd and Turk both had a short narrating snippet in My Hero. This episode is narrated by Dr. Cox.
The song playing when Carla accepts the proposal is 'Question by 0ld 97's'. The same song plays in an episode of the TV show 'Ed', when the title character proposes to his girlfriend. Thomas Cavanagh aka Ed is a recurring guest in Scrubs as Dan Dorian, J.D.'s older brother.
Batcave is Batman's hideout, a secret headquarter made of a series of subterranean caves beneath the Wayne Manor.