Season 8 Episode 5

My ABC's

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jan 27, 2009 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • J.D.'s narration: And then I realized why I'd thought about Sesame Street all day. In a way, you can learn everything you need to know from watching it as a kid. Like, always play nice. Always try your hardest. And even, it's okay to cry.

    • J.D.: I think I see what the problem is. (Hangs up the radiography) You have a hand inside of you.
      Muppet: That explains SO many things.

    • Elliot: Hey, did you guys hear the story of the interviews for the new Chief of Medicine?
      Janitor: Actually, they already found someone.
      (Oscar the Grouch comes out from the Janitor's cleaning supplies)
      Oscar: That's right, knuckleheads. There's a new Chief in town.
      (J.D. laughs)
      Janitor: That was a mistake.
      Oscar: Uggh. I'll be watching you, John Dorian. And guess what? My eyes never close!

    • Elmo: Yay, she gets it! She gets it! Yeah baby! Yeah baby! Yeah baby! Thank you. (Leans on Denise's breasts)
      J.D.: Okay, easy buddy.
      Elmo: What, is she your woman?!

    • J.D.: Don't you always fantasize around with the muppets?
      Turk: No, I'm straight.

    • J.D.: I grew up on the streets. Not the hood! The Seasme Street!

    • J.D.: Chicks dig the extra fuzz.
      Grover: Tell me about it.

    • Dr. Cox: Back to this intern that I-
      Carla: -no I don't want to play your "why do I hate this intern game." It's no fun and nobody ever wins.
      Dr. Cox: Fine. I need to find somebody who's more qualified to talk about hate anyway.

    • Turk: (to Elliot) Carla dragged me to the on-call room. Stripped buck naked. Did a little belly dance and then said, "this is for Elliot." Then took a nap. What the hell did I do to you?

    • Dr. Cox: Look. You and I are alike in a lot of ways.
      Janitor: We both harbor an internal struggle between the desire to do good and the urge to become a master criminal.

    • Dr. Cox: (talking about Ed) That's it. I know why I hate him.
      Janitor: Way to go! Want to borrow my plunger? Form a perfect seal around his mouth then...three times, and his Adam's apple pops right out. (Dr. Cox grabs the plunger and walks away) Theoretically.

    • J.D.'s narration: For me, I was just hoping to figure out a way to tell Denise that the first patient we were treating together was going to die.
      J.D.: Listen, Joe, Mr. Fremont's scan came back and his lungs are covered with lesions. He doesn't have a lot of time.
      J.D.'s narration: I was glad I was there, because I knew it would be hard for her to deal with.
      Denise: Huh. Sucks to be him.
      J.D.'s narration: Or not.

    • (J.D. and Turk are looking at a photo on a cell phone)
      Elliot: Hey, what are you guys looking at? Oh my god, is that a picture of a poo?
      Turk: That's not just any poo, Elliot. That's Izzie's first poo in a potty.
      J.D.: I can't take my eyes off of it. It's gorgeous. Oh, I accidentally pressed Send.
      (Carla, the Janitor, Dr. Cox and Ed are all checking their cell phones)
      Carla: Aw.
      Janitor: They're back!
      Dr. Cox: Jack's are bigger.
      Ed: Just found my new screensaver.

    • Carla: (talking about Ed) So maybe you don't like him because he's a freaky stoner weirdo.
      Dr. Cox: No. Surprisingly, that tickles me.

    • Denise: You called me "Jo"!
      J.D.: Do you not like that as a new nickname?
      Denise: Just a little butch. I like banging dudes.
      J.D.: I've heard that's nice.

    • J.D.: Don't let those idiots in radiology hold you up.
      Denise: Dr. Dorian. If they pull any crap, I'll bust some heads.
      J.D.'s narration: Ah. She really is like having my very own "Jo" from "Facts of Life."

    • Katie: Dr. Cox. I just wanted to tell you I really enjoyed rounds this morning and I'm going to work harder so you don't just think of me as a...what was it?
      Dr. Cox: A helpless, vapid, incompetent ass-kisser.
      Katie: Actually, I don't remember the ass-kisser part.
      Dr. Cox: That's because I just added it now.
      Katie: It's great. Makes it hurt more.
      Dr. Cox: Good.

    • Dr. Cox: So, Ed, after you've placed a central line on that patient, come and find me and let me know whether or not you've killed him.

    • Denise: (to J.D.) By the way, how can you stand these scrubs. Mine are so far up my butt right now, I can taste them in my throat.

    • J.D.: I really want you to be yourself around me.
      Denise: You really mean that, sir?
      J.D.'s narration: Sir. Loving this girl's energy.
      J.D.: I mean every word, young miss.
      Denise: Well buddy, you have no idea how psyched I am to hear that. I mean, I spent four years in med school, talking like this, so I wouldn't threaten all the male teachers who pee in their pants every time they're even near a strong woman.

    • J.D.: Then I thought, why not pick a woman. Have a little feminine energy in my life.
      Elliot: Oh, you mean like the kind of energy that seeps out of every pore of your body?
      J.D.: Elliot. Why?
      Elliot: (pointing to Dr. Cox) You knew that he was going to say it. I thought it would hurt less coming from me.
      J.D.: Why, thank you.

    • Dr. Cox: (to the interns) Before we do rounds today, who watches "Deal or No Deal"?
      (An intern raises his hand)
      Dr. Cox: Get out.

  • Notes

    • This isn't the first time Scrubs and the Muppets have collided. In A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, Miss Piggy appears as an "extra" until Kermit takes her away.

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Australia: February 26, 2009 on Channel 7.
      Latin America: June 2, 2009 on Sony Entertainment Television (a.k.a. Canal Sony)
      Sweden: October 28, 2009 on TV6

  • Allusions

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