Season 3 Episode 6

My Advice to You

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Nov 13, 2003 on NBC
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Episode Summary

A chance meeting in the elevator sparks a new friendship between J.D. and the mysterious Danni whose ongoing dialogue about her ex-boyfriend forces J.D. to talk about his feelings for Elliot. Carla's brother Marco comes to visit, but he still hasn't forgiven Turk for mistaking him for a valet at their mother's funeral. Unfortunately, Turk can't even apologize because Marco can't speak anything but Spanish. At the hospital, Dr. Cox relishes his new job promotion but is surprised when J.D. doesn't follow his lead in contradicting Dr. Kelso's orders.moreless

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Donald Faison

Donald Faison

Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk

John C. McGinley

John C. McGinley

Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox

Judy Reyes

Judy Reyes

Nurse Carla Espinosa

Ken Jenkins

Ken Jenkins

Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso

Neil Flynn

Neil Flynn

The Janitor

Sarah Chalke

Sarah Chalke

Dr. Elliot Reid

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (11)

    • After Marco punches Turk in the face, his black eye is on the right side. However, when Marco punches him, he actually makes contact with his left eye.

    • J.D. reveals that his mother's maiden name is Hobbs.

    • In this episode Carla talks about "when they moved away from the Dominican Republic." However, in a later episode, when Turk can't remember what ethnicity Carla is, he says that she has never been to the "homeland" and that she is from Chicago.

    • In the last scene, J.D. wonders if Danni was ever real, or if she was a figment of his imagination. Originally, in "My Last Day" (first season finale), a scene would've been shown where J.D. comes to the conclusion that the Janitor was a figment of his imagination.

    • In the scene where J.D. meets Danni in the cafeteria as they're talking and it which between shots of the two, you can notice Danni's hair continuously changing each time the camera turns to her.

    • In the end of the episode when Carla said "(translated) So when I was in High school, you heard me talking to my friends about going on the pill?" Carla uses the word "High School" instead of the correct Spanish translation which would be "colegio".

    • Carla tells Marco that Turk can say "yes", "no", and "cheese" in Spanish. But earlier in the episode, there's a flashback where Carla, J.D., Turk and Marco are at Mrs. Espinosa's funeral. Turk tells Marco there "I've got all the mileage all right in here, so no joy rides, comprende?" Comprende is Spanish for "comprehend", so Turk must've known more Spanish than "si", "no" and "queso".

    • Donald Faison and Freddy Rodriguez also appeared together in "Can't Hardly Wait".

    • Featured Music:
      "Bad Day" by R.E.M.

    • When Turk is putting on his chilled underwear, the thermos moves from left to right throughout the scene.

    • In this episode Carla introduces her brother to J.D. as if they have never met before. This is not the case. J.D. came with Carla to the funeral in the episode "My Drama Queen" of season 2. They should have met there.

  • QUOTES (37)

    • Carla: And Turk, you don't mind if every now and then Marco and I speak Spanish to each other, right?
      Turk: Baby, fo'shizzle-dizzle. Do your thizzle, 'cause I'm up out this pizzle. Chach! See, we got our own secret language, too. Eh-ha!
      Marco(translated): What did he say?
      Carla(translated): I have no idea.
      Marco(translated): Jackass!

    • Carla(translated): So when I was a senior in high school, you heard me talking to my friends in English about going on the pill?
      Marco(translated): No, I just learned English a few years ago.
      Carla(translated): Well, good, because I wasn't on the pill, and I'm not now. I've never had sex. I hope it's fun.

    • J.D.'s Narration: I wasn't sure what I was hoping for... That somehow Danni had decided not to leave... that she'd snapped her leg in the parking lot...
      J.D.: DANNI!?
      Guy: Yo.

    • Dr. Cox: Newbie, maybe I wasn't clear enough with you on Miss Bartow over there.
      J.D.: Here it comes. I'm incompetent. I'm a girl. I'm a little girl. I'm a little girl with pigtails that rides a tricycle.
      Dr. Cox: No. Well, yes...

    • Turk: Hey, baby. Gimme some of that minty breath.
      Carla: Noooooo, not in front of my brother - that stuff always makes him uncomfortable.
      Turk: Oh, really? I just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting by loving you up and down, and all around!
      Carla: Turk!
      Turk: Baby, he can't understand you! Now let's go put some more of your footprints on the ceiling!
      Marco: That's it, you son of a bitch!
      Turk: I told ya!

    • Elliot: Oh, first I've gotta discharge Mr. Hale, then get a extropolenscopy on Mrs. Peterson, and then, to be perfectly frank, perform a thong extrication on Ms. Reid.
      Doug: Hey, your last name is Reid!
      Elliot: Doug. I have underwear in my butt.

    • Danni: Well, I just wanted to say goodbye. I was gonna stick around for a few more days, but I don't really feel like that there's a reason to... Is there?
      J.D.: Probably not.
      Danni: I'm gonna miss you.
      J.D.: I'm gonna miss you, too.
      Danni: Dude, we just met - I was kidding.

    • Elliot: Well, you know the picture of us at the beach, where I actually look good and you think that you look like Bjork?
      J.D.: Yeah.
      Elliot: Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I cut you out of it, and used it in a collage that I'm making for Sean?
      J.D.: No problem!
      Elliot: Thanks!
      J.D.: Whoa.
      Danni: How's the whole moving on thing going?
      J.D.: It's going great, Danni! In opposite world!

    • Elliot: J.D.! You know all those pictures of us from when we were going out? Do you still have those?
      J.D.'s Narration: Filed alphabetically in my "Elliot Cabinet".
      J.D.: I don't know... I might... Why?

    • Turk: Baby! There you are. He speaks English!
      Carla: Who?
      Turk: Your brother; he speaks English. Yo, tell her you speak English!
      Marco: Que?
      Turk: Don't "que" my- "Que," my ass! "Que," my ass!... You were there, and you saw the whole thing. Now you tell her.
      Janitor: I don't know what you're talking about.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Of course, if the dynamic does change, it's never as simple as you'd hope.
      Dr. Cox: Hey, Newbie, listen, I got dinner plans with Jordan, and seeing as you're on-call, whatta you say you pull up a chair, here, in front of Miss Bartow?
      J.D.'s Narration: ...Especially when it involves someone who's used to you following their lead.
      J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, I'll take care of her, and I'll have my interns help, but you gotta know I have other patients, too, so...
      Dr. Cox: Maybe you didn't understand me, there, Violet. I don't want you leaving her side, even if someone thinks they saw Justin Timberlake downstairs.

    • Turk: Queso?
      Marco(translated): Man, I am so sick of you.
      Turk: I'm sorry, but I... can't... understand... you!
      Marco: Yeah? Well, that talking slower and louder thing is not as helpful as you might think. Geez! Can you believe this guy?
      Janitor(translated from spanish): Don't get me started.

    • J.D.: Oh! Hey, how are you?
      Danni: Good. So, I did it - I talked to my ex.
      J.D.: And...?
      Danni: And I said, "Congratulations on the wedding, and I hope you two stay happy, and, by the way, size does matter."

    • Marco(translated): I bet he's whining about how I don't speak English even though he's never bothered to learn Spanish... For the woman he supposedly loves.
      Carla(translated): He's trying to learn. He's already got 'yes', 'no', and 'cheese'.
      Turk: Hey! Somebody say something about cheese? 'Cause if you gonna make a cheese run, holla at me, dawg!
      Carla: Baby, when we left the Dominican Republic, Marco never wanted to learn English. He even went to boarding school in Puerto Rico. Imagine what it's like to constantly feel like an outsider just because you're proud of your heritage.
      Turk: But did you or did you not say something about cheese?

    • Carla: Oh, hey Turk, why don't you play the next game with Marco?
      Turk: Baby, I-I hate PacMan.
      Carla: Really? Because you have bed-sheets that indicate otherwise.

    • Danni: I don't mind it at the movies, sitting alone. But eating alone is sad and pathetic.
      J.D.: Are you stalking me?
      Danni: Nooo. My sister just had a baby, so I'm doing the whole aunt thing. Plus, it's a really great excuse to run away from a relationship. My boyfriend just dumped me, so of course now I love him more than ever.
      J.D.: So, is there any chance of you guys getting back together?
      Danni: Well, he's engaged, and he's getting married in two weeks... but, yeah, I think so.

    • Dr. Cox: We are moving on!
      J.D.: You heard him, people! We're moving on!
      Dr. Cox: Oh, God help me.
      J.D.: ...God help him!

    • Dr. Cox: Miss Bartow is thirty-six, she is septic, and she is in respiratory failure. Dr. Weiss, I want you to draw three sets of surveillance cultures. Mr. Murphy-
      Doug: Dr. Murphy?
      Dr. Cox: Eh... Just go ahead and get a steady BG. We are going to try to wean her off of the vent today, so I want all of you people to give her most of your attention.
      J.D.: I say we listen to Dr. Cox, and do exactly what he says.
      Dr. Cox: That's unbelievable.

    • Dr. Kelso: Now, complaints are just a stone's throw away from lawsuits, so from this point on, I don't care how bleak a patient's prognosis is - you are going to give each and every one of them the same amount of your time.
      J.D.'s Narration: Unfortunately, our new residency director felt a little differently.
      Dr. Cox: Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. And, oh my goodness, if we don't have somebody here that we might be able to help.

    • Elliot: What'd I miss?
      Dr. Kelso: It's come to my attention...
      J.D.: Something's come to his attention.
      Dr. Kelso: ...that some family members of our critically ill patients have been complaining because of the relatively small amount of time you all spend with their loved ones. 'Course, in Dr. Murphy's case that's probably a good thing.
      Doug: Sir, if I could just take this chance to explain my disturbingly high mortality rate?
      Dr. Kelso: Why don't I do that for you? You're a bad doctor.

    • Dr. Cox: Say, Angela...
      J.D.: Oh, I think he means me, Angela.
      J.D.'s Narration: I wonder what I did now.
      Dr. Cox: Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity for me, and I-I want it to go well. And, for some reason, all these other bobble-heads seem to look up to you, so it would make my life one hell of a lot easier if you got in line behind me.

    • Dr. Cox: All right, I'm sure you're wondering why I accepted the position of residency director considering my disdain for, well... all of you. Is it the extra four dollars a week in my paycheck? Or is it the fact that I finally have a chance to make a difference in this God-forsaken hell-hole.
      Elliot: Hm!
      Dr. Cox: It's all about the four dollars, trust me. And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs, I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly. GO!

    • Doctors: Awww.
      Dr. Cox: Fine. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you how it ends: Dr. Phil says, "And how... is that working out... for you?" And the big fat lady cries, "Wah."

    • J.D.: What are you doing?
      Elliot: All the beds are taken. Scoot.
      J.D.: Bunk with The Todd!
      Elliot: J.D., you know that he is a sleep humper.
      Todd: Sometimes when I'm banging this mattress, I'm thinking about banging that one!

    • J.D.'s narration: Is there a sexier woman alive?
      Elliot: Oh, I gotta go. My chinhair's back.
      J.D.'s narration: Oh, I wish she'd cut it off and give it to me.

    • Dr. Kelso: Oh, don't get me wrong, you had me worried there was gonna be a bunch of young Dr. Coxes roaming the halls, calling me "Bobbo", shaving my genitals when I pass out at the Christmas party...
      Dr. Cox: Tradition is tradition, Bob.
      Dr. Kelso: Yeah... Then I remembered that you've been here over ten years, and there's not a single disciple of yours to be found. And you know why?
      Dr. Cox: You told 'em this exact same story and bored 'em to death?

    • Dr. Kelso: And guess what, Dr. Cox knows it, too. Although damned if he doesn't disagree with me just because I said it.
      J.D.: Sir, I don't think that's true.
      Dr. Kelso: Perry! It's hotter than hell in here!
      Dr. Cox: Freezing!
      Dr. Kelso: Great coffee, though!
      Dr. Cox: Rat piss!
      Dr. Kelso: Dr. Murphy is an incompetent suck-up.
      Dr. Cox: No, Bob. In fact, he's one of the finest young doctors I've ever had the good fortune of working with.
      Dr. Kelso: Your witness.
      J.D.: What are you doing?
      Doug: I'm calling my dad!

    • Dr. Kelso: Perry, the fact that these residents are spending most of their time buzzing around that one patient makes me think that you told them to disobey a direct order from me.
      Dr. Cox: Bob Kelso, that's just not true. Here, I told them to disregard all direct orders from you.

    • J.D.: Hi. Danni, we need to move on, okay? No more thinking about our exes; no more waiting for the phone to ring; no more stealing her purse just so you can return it later in the hopes that she'll be so grateful, she'll use the money recovered to buy you a drink and maybe have sex with you after.
      Danni: Did that work?
      J.D.: I stole the wrong purse... And, yes!

    • Elliot: But, Dr. Cox, earlier today Dr. Kelso was telling us that he wants -
      Dr. Cox: Ugssshhhhh. I don't ever want to hear anything that's come out of that man's mouth; unless, of course, it's "Oh, my God! I'm dying. Now I'm moving towards the light. But wait a minute, there's been a mistake! This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? That's weird!" Don't you see, Barbie, I would rather listen to you go on and on about the joys of dolphin sex.
      Elliot: Dolphin trainer sex. My boyfriend is a dolphin trainer.
      Dr. Cox: Here that's a shame, because the whole dolphin thing used to make you so interesting. Too bad.

    • Danni: We'd still die.
      J.D.: We'd still what?
      Danni: If the elevator cable snapped, even if we timed it out perfectly and jumped up right before impact, we'd still be crushed to death. I wish I'd taken the stairs.
      J.D.: Me too.
      Danni: Sorry, sometimes I just have this inner monologue running through my head.
      J.D.'s Narration: Inner monologue? Weirdo!
      J.D.: That's my floor.
      Danni: Lucky bastard.

    • Jordan: I'm having second thoughts about our giant nanny. She's lovely and all, but every time the fridge is empty, she looks at our son like he's a plate of ribs.
      Dr. Cox: Well, you shoulda let me hire the really skinny model. At least if she ate Jack, she'd throw him up right after.

    • Carla: Now, I want you to try and get along with him this time? If you do, I promise to fulfill that fantasy of yours - but not with the weird outfit, and none of those crazy toys.
      Turk: So we'd just have normal sex...
      Carla: If I'm not sleepy!
      Turk: Deal.

    • Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
      Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?

    • J.D.'s Narration: No one knew her last name, no one even remembered seeing her. I started to wonder if Danni was even real. I guess that's the thing about life. You don't really-
      Danni: Hey, J.D.
      J.D.: Excuse me!
      J.D.'s Narration: -You don't really get many second chances.
      J.D.: Oh! Danni! Hi! I'm sorry, sometimes I have this inner monologue running through my head.
      Danni: Oh.
      Danni's Narration: Weirdo!
      Danni: I'm having dinner with my sister tonight, but I swear I'm leaving after that.
      J.D.: Don't. Stay here with me, we'll get that cup of coffee.
      Danni: I'm not gonna stick around for one cup of coffee.
      J.D.: Okay, two cups... and some pie.
      J.D.'s Narration: Finally, I found a girl with no complications.
      Jordan: Oh, I see you've met my sister!
      J.D.'s Narration: Oh, come on!

    • J.D.: So black people can get black eyes too, huh? Who knew?
      Turk: I haven't have one this bad since your Nanny Hobbes threw that rock at me.
      J.D.: She thought you were robbing the house.

    • Dr. Kelso: If your grandmother were here wouldn't you want her doctor spend as much time with her as he does with anyone else?
      J.D.: Grandma Dorian, or Nana Hobbes? Because Nana Hobbes can be an eensy bit racist.
      Dr. Kelso: Grandma Dorian.
      J.D.: She's dead.

  • NOTES (1)