Season 3 Episode 9

My Dirty Secret

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Dec 11, 2003 on NBC

Episode Recap

Sean has come to visit Elliot (note: US air dates means he had already left for New Zealand by this time, in other countries the episode order was different and he was still around an J.D.'s narration is slightly different!) and J.D. says it doesn't bother him. Elliot is looking forward to swimming with the dolphins. She wants to know how Sean got his huge scar on his leg and he lies, saying it was from parachute pants. Carla likes that he is lying to Elliot already. Elliot gives Mrs. Cantwell a quick pelvic exam and Mrs. Cantwell has a loud orgasm while Elliot does so.

Elliot is really embarrassed but J.D. and Turk say she shouldn't be as they are professionals. J.D. also says he has never heard a woman make sounds like that and Elliot confirms that surely can be true. Around the hospital, everyone makes fun of each other, apart from Carla. The delivery guy comes in and makes fun of her chicken scratch handwriting. Carla gives him attitude as she's running around all day. Jordan and Dr. Cox are having an arguement as he doesn't look after their son enough.

Their patient, Mr. Randolph, has a prostatitis problem and they aren't sure what's wrong with him yet. At rounds, Elliot's patient has a rash on his penis but she cannot say the clinical words and uses words like "peeper" instead. Dr. Kelso doesn't like it and tells her to get over it. The test for Mr. Randolph is back and postive for prostate cancer. He sends his wife around and Dr. Cox says it hasn't spread yet and they can have surgery soon. J.D. wants to know what's bugging Dr. Cox with his wife and Perry finally tells him th story. Every morning his son wakes him up early, then at the hospital he has a bunch of sick people where he only gets paid a little and when he comes back home his house smells like baby puke and Jordan bosses him around. J.D. recommends to just tell her how he feels openly.

Carla meets Turk in the on-call room. Carla suggests not having sex until their wedding night in six months time. Turk doesn't think this is such a romantic idea. At the cafeteria, Carla agrees to help Elliott get over her problem and at home, Turk is depressed about the no-sex thing. Dr. Cox walks in as he was thrown out after telling her how he feels. He sleeps in J.D.'s bedroom. J.D. is will have to sleep on the floor until he comes up with a new plan for Perry. Then he gets paged to the hospital. Mr. Randolph has changed his mind about surgery as his wife Katherine has downloaded some information on alternative treatment. J.D. says these methods only stall the cancer at best and that the surgery works fine in almost all cases. The medical side effects can be cured via viagra or a penis pump. Mr. Randolph does not like the sound of that and won't change his mind.

Carla tries to teach Elliot 'vagina' by showing pictures of magazines. Turk sees this and doesn't think it's fair that he has to see this during his no-sex period. Elliot accepts that some words make her uncomfortable and she has to get over it her own pace. What really makes her annoying is that nobody is allowed to make fun of Carla. Carla denies this and say her friends can make fun of her whenever they want. Everyone joins in by making fun of her.

J.D. and Turk want to get Mr. Randolph over the fear of surgery. He explains that him and Katherine don't always communicate too well but the one place he can tell her how wonderful and beautiful she is, is the bedroom. Thus he doesn't want to lose the abilty to perform and try to stall the inevitable operation as long as possible. J.D. offers to babysit for Jack and Jordan & Dr. Cox leave the baby and run off. Elliott tries to say dirty words to Sean says it's really hot. Carla comes home, and Turk has found out what romance really is so he accepts the no-sex idea. Carla has just spent the last 2 hours listening to her friends list her faults so she wants to have sex, now. J.D. babysits while watching Cinemax, as the only person who isn't getting any sex.
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