Season 4 Episode 23

My Faith in Humanity

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Apr 19, 2005 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
219 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Turk won't open up at couples' therapy. Elliot refuses Dr. Cox's romantic advice, when a very attractive man saunters into the hospital. J.D. learns a lesson in humanity from a dying old woman. The Janitor accidentally lets a bunch of rats run around Sacred Heart.

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  • The first disappointing episode of season four.

    Did anything really happen in this episode? I would have to say this was the most forgettable episode I have ever seen of Scrubs. A guy Jake comes to Sacred Heart, convinces a woman to die, almost gets sued, gets asked out by Elliot and leaves? Jake was by far the most two dimensional character I have ever seen, just a fill in character to adjust the plot. Not to mention this episode was incredibly cliche. The janitor's plot was completely unrealistic and not funny, him just chasing rats? Turk & Carla going to counseling wasn't very settling since their problems should have been resolved already, why are they going to not entertaining counseling? The only memorable funny quote was Elliot's "dead mom" joke, other than that, this episode was pretty much dead, and it didn't even do a good job of getting it's point across like it usually does.moreless
  • J.D tries to helps a guy named Jake, when his elderly neighbor's brother threatens to sue him. Elliot, with the aid of Dr Cox, tries to catch Jake's eye. Elsewhere Turk and Carla have trouble at marriage counseling when Turk won't open up.moreless

    One of my favorite episodes! All the story lines are hilarious with some very memorable quotes.

    Loved the somewhat bond between Dr Cox and Elliot and how J.D constantly tried to prove to Jake he wasn't an idiot and his efforts in covering up that he has no idea where New Zealand is!

    A Really great episode!
  • Turner and Hooch!

    While all of the plots in this episode are entertaining, my favourite would probably be Elliot and Dr Cox’s advice to her at getting Jake, which he made purely to embarrass her and the new character in question was also involved in the other plot where he is being sued for listening to his old neighbour’s problem and decision.

    JD’s plot of being hated by Jake for convincing him to listen to the woman was also great and had very funny shots at JD’s knowledge of geography, briefly mentioning the country I live in, Australia.

    Turk’s plot of therapy wasn’t given much time but also had great jokes such as the nipple pinching and punching JD whenever he said “goodbye”.

    Overall, the episode is certainly not the best of season 4 but is not the worst either.moreless
  • My Faith in Hilarity (aka My Loss of Faith)

    My Faith in Hilarity (aka My Loss of Faith)

    We’re heading towards the end of the season, which makes it a shame that this is such a poor episode. Jokes that fall flat, an initially appealing but eventually unsatisfying central storyline, and a mind-numbingly dull guest star make a bad impression. Only a few great lines and the reappearance of Hooch save this episode from one-stardom.

    When Jake, a guy who is so boring I can’t think of any adjectives to describe him apart from boring, brings his elderly neighbour whom he hardly knows into the hospital, he ends up convincing her it’s time to die. He subsequently gets sued, leading JD to question his faith in humanity. It could have been a great plot, if only more visible examples of nasty people had been given than the list of jackasses that Kelso gives (admittedly a high-point of the episode). The resolution, where Jake doesn’t run away from his problem despite the fact that he easily could have, is disappointing and could have been much improved. The whole thing is only improved by some great jokes involving Ted (‘I don’t get real cards until I win a case.’)

    Tied into this is Elliot trying to get a date with Jake, and enlisting Dr. Cox to help her. This works better, allowing Cox some great lines (see below for the best) and showing his not-always-visible nice side. It was a nice moment where Cox said he wanted Elliot to finally be happy for a change, and she does deserve it.

    Finally, Turk is having trouble with the couples therapy he and Carla have started. He doesn’t want to do it because he thinks it’s a stupid idea. After a few words from JD, and the ‘surprising’ return of Jake, he realizes he shouldn’t back down and starts to show interest. Again, another humdrum plotline, but highlighted by the reappearance of Hooch with his medicine-solving buddy Turner, the funniest running gag since the last one involving Hooch. Again, I say, more Hooch dammit!

    Elsewhere, the episode was not up to its usual comedy standards, such as a direly unfunny ‘Your mom’s dead’ joke and an extremely cheesy ending. Fortunately, there’s a few good bits, such as Turk crying after sex, and the Tod asking for ‘suction’ before the patient has even arrived.

    In this episode, JD questioned his faith in humanity but by the end he was emotionally satisfied. I questioned my faith in this show. Sadly, I’m still waiting for my satisfaction. However, given how this particular season has been more up-and-down than other, Scrubs may be riding on a high come next week. 2 out of 5 Badly-Timed Rats.

    Best line:

    Carla – “That’s the worst advice I’ve ever heard.”

    Dr. Cox – “Good point, Carla. Say, you don’t happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?”

Donald Faison

Donald Faison

Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk

John C. McGinley

John C. McGinley

Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox

Judy Reyes

Judy Reyes

Nurse Carla Espinosa

Ken Jenkins

Ken Jenkins

Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso

Neil Flynn

Neil Flynn

The Janitor

Sarah Chalke

Sarah Chalke

Dr. Elliot Reid

Josh Randall

Josh Randall


Guest Star

James Michael Tyler

James Michael Tyler

Couples Therapist

Guest Star

Jim Hanks

Jim Hanks


Guest Star

Phill Lewis

Phill Lewis


Recurring Role

Sam Lloyd

Sam Lloyd

Ted Buckland

Recurring Role

Johnny Kastl

Johnny Kastl

Dr. Doug Murphy

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • Featured Music:
      "Closer to Spring" by Bang

    • In the scene where the old lady's brother approaches J.D. and Jake and tells them that he's going to sue and walks away - if you watch closely in the background, you'll see him turn around and enter the scene again.

    • In the scene where J.D. reveals to Turk that Turk's been hitting him, there is one angle on Turk where he's wearing his badge, and another where he is not. Also, once Turk stops and realizes what he's been doing you can see his closed fist on one shot, the next shot (brown Hulk) he has his hand open, palm pointing sideways, and then closed fist back on the next shot.

  • QUOTES (54)

    • Lady: I can't believe that six young men stopped to help an old lady change a tire!
      J.D.: And don't you forget who put that tire on and tightened those lugnuts, Martha! Okay, sweetie, have fun at the swap-meet! Drive safe.
      J.D.'s Narration: Yep. It sure feels good to do the right thing.
      J.D.: Righty loosey, lefty tighty.
      J.D.'s Narration: Oh, "righty tighty! lefty loosey!" Ohhhh, man. It still feels good.

    • Dr. Cox: That's a cute couple. I give 'em a week.

    • Dr. Cox: Well, he's definitely leaving for good this time, there, Barbie. I'd, uh, I say go for it.
      Elliot: Why won't you leave me alone?
      Dr. Cox: Oh, I don't know... Maybe because the NHL is on strike and I'm not getting my fill of toothless men knocking the hell out of each other. Or, maybe because for the first time in four years I'd actually like to see you happy for a change. You believe whatever you want, I don't really care. Jake the Snake is bearing down on you, and if I were you, I'd step up to him, look him straight in the eye with those beautiful blues, and... invite him out for a cup of coffee before he escapes.
      Elliot: Hey, um... can I buy you a cup of coffee before you escape?
      Jake: What, now?
      Elliot: I me-I mean "go"?

    • Turk: I've got something I'd like to share today.
      Carla: Really?
      Turk: Yeah. I don't like it when Carla pinches my nipples when we're having sex. Baby, that's-that's one of the reasons why I cry - because you pinch them too hard, and it hurts.

    • Dennis: Well, look who's back.
      Jake: Look, buddy, I, uh, I barely know your sister, and I certainly don't know you, but like it or not, she told me what she wanted and I'm gonna honor that. Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and stay here 'til I can figure out a way to make you understand that, even if I have to get myself a lawyer.
      (Ted leans in with a post-it.)
      Jake: Not you.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Kelso had a point. I mean, in the outside world you'll occasionally see a stream of cars drive by an old woman with a flat tire. But around here, every time you round a corner, well...
      (A couple are talking to a doctor, the woman's face bruised and swollen.)
      Husband: She fell again.

    • J.D.: Look, you're gonna do whatever you want with your sister, but Jake's just trying to help. He's a stand-up guy, I think you should leave him alone. If you do, I think it would be dy-no-mite! Sorry, I was just watching 'Good Times' in the doctors' lounge.
      Dennis: Yeah. I'm gonna screw him to the wall.

    • Elliot: Hey, Jake. How's it goin'?
      Jake: Oh, heh, I've had better days. How are you?
      Dr. Cox: Listen to me, Barbacious, you gotta stay the course here. You gotta keep ignoring him.
      Elliot: But I am already ignoring him. How do I ignore him more?
      Dr. Cox: Aha. Piece of cake. First you engage him, then you ignore him.
      End Flashback
      Jake: Elliot? I said, How are you?
      Elliot: I actually don't have time for this, okay? I'm a doctor!
      Jake: But you asked me how I was.
      Elliot: Yeah, trying to save lives here. It's not always about you!

    • J.D.: Are you responsible for breaking up Turner and Hooch?
      Turk: I need an excuse to get out of couples counseling. Dude, I can't open up, man, I just can't do it. Besides, this way no one gets hurt.
      Dr. Turner: We had a hell of a run, man.
      Hooch: Just get outta here.

    • J.D.: Dr. Kelso, you can't do that.
      Dr. Kelso: I didn't. Your friend Turkleton did. And I can do whatever I want. (Doodles a curly marker mustache on J.D. and laughs) You look ridiculous.
      Turk: I thought we were doing mustaches on Sunday?
      J.D.: I didn't do this, Kelso did!
      Turk: You invited Kelso to Mustache Sunday?
      J.D.: Enough with the mustaches, dude!

    • Jake: Just admit it - you're just here from the future to destroy me.
      J.D.: I am not from the future, Jake! Gesundheit, Carol!
      (Carol sneezes.)
      J.D.: Yes! It finally worked! What are the odds?

    • Jake: He spelled "attorney" wrong.
      J.D.(reads post-it): "Buy Groceries. Kill Self."

    • Turk: So check this out: Our therapist says I'm the type of guy who pretends everything's okay even when I'm upset deep down inside.
      J.D.: Well, I think that's true. I mean, if you look at the whole Carla kissing thing, I think intellectually you moved on, but emotionally you're still upset. You'll get there, though, pal.
      Turk: I'm not upset!
      J.D.: Really? Oh, okay. I'll see you later. Bye.
      (Turk socks him in the arm.)
      J.D.: Ow! You see!
      Turk: See what?
      J.D.: Let's try it again. I'll see you later, buddy. Bye!
      Turk: Bye.
      (Turk socks him again.)
      J.D.: OW! Always the same spot! It's like your fingers are stone!

    • Jake: Hey, Elliot.
      Elliot: Mm.
      Jake: So that girl's kinda cute, what's her story?
      J.D.: She's a dude.
      Jake: Nuh-uh.
      J.D.: Gotta look at the Adam's apple, buddy.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Even though I had created a super medical crime-fighting team, I felt lousy. See, I had just told Betty that her lungs had finally given out and she wasn't gonna leave the hospital this time.
      Betty: So... what are my choices?
      J.D.: Well, we could put you on a breathing machine, but it's unlikely you'd ever come off of it. Or I could just make sure you're as comfortable as possible.
      J.D.'s Narration: "As comfortable as possible." I've said that a million times and I still have no idea what it means.

    • Dr. Turner: But Hooch, if the patient just has simple cellulitis, why aren't the antibiotics working?
      Hooch: Dammit, Turner! It just doesn't make sense!

    • Therapist: Chris. What's going on with you?
      Turk: Nothing worth talking about.
      Therapist: This is your third visit, and you've yet to say anything real about how you're feeling.
      Turk: That's because I don't think there's anything wrong with our relationship.
      Therapist: I think you pretend that everything's okay even though, deep down inside, a lot of things are bothering you. So, come on, tell me what you're thinking right now.
      Turk: I'm staring at that picture above your head. Yeah, now, is that one of those psychological ink-blot tests where I try and figure out what it is? Because if so, I'm seeing a duck.
      (There's a large photo of a duck)

    • Carla: Anyway, I worry that sometimes when I'm tense, I could be a little condescending.
      Therapist: Actually, I've noticed that.
      Carla: Have you really noticed it, "Mr. Therapist"?

    • Elliot: Ow! Some people just cannot take a good "your mom's dead" joke, you know?

    • Elliot: I just wish once a cute, thoughtful guy would walk through the door.
      Jake: Hi. I need some help. My neighbor fainted and she doesn't like ambulances, so I brought her in myself.
      Elliot: Let me take this one, Jenny, you've got a phone call.
      Jenny: Uh, I'll call them back.
      Elliot: Your mom died.
      Jenny: WHAT?!
      Elliot: Her mom's fine. It's just a little running joke we have. She'll be laughing later. Got you, Jenny! Dead mom jokes - always funny. Heh.

    • Elliot: She just got engaged. Bad comb-over and all!
      Carla: When Clarissa beats you to the altar, it might be time to hang up the ovaries.
      Elliot: Too mean!

    • J.D.'s Narration: Thankfully, Turk had gotten over the whole kissing incident. Still, there's a weird new thing he does whenever he says goodbye.
      Turk: Okay, I'll see you around.
      (He socks J.D. in the arm hard)
      J.D.: Agh!... Peace, homey!

    • J.D.'s Narration: As much as Hooch loved us, it was even better to see Turk happy. See, he and Carla had recently started couples therapy, and I'm not sure he was enjoying it.
      Therapist: Carla says you cry after you orgasm. Would you like to talk about that?
      Turk: No, not really.

    • Dr. Cox: Barbie. Go get him! I... believe in you?
      Elliot: Nnnno, you don't. You just want me to go and embarrass myself so you can laugh at me! Just like the time you told me the hospital fund-raiser was a costume party! I walked into a black-tie dinner dressed as Clarence Thomas...
      Dr. Cox: I was in a costume, too.
      Elliot: You wore an Armani tux.
      Dr. Cox: I went as someone who doesn't make a fool out of himself. How'd you not get that?

    • J.D.: Go enjoy your little rafting thing in New Zealand - which, incidentally, is ten thousand miles east of Australia, and famous for alcoholism and clam chowder. I've been brushing up on my New Zealand.
      Jake: You've been brushing up on New England.

    • J.D.: Can you believe this guy?
      Dr. Kelso: Son, look around. There's an old man with Alzheimer's who no one bothers to come visit. This morning I had a chat with a woman who refuses to stop using cocaine even though she's six months pregnant. And just last week I saw an older woman fall and break her hip because some guy was too busy to hold the door open for her!
      J.D.: Sir, you laughed and pointed when she fell.
      Dr. Kelso: I didn't say it wasn't funny - I just said it happened.

    • Jake: Buddy, you would not believe the day I'm having.
      Janitor: Quiet, jackass. What'd you say to Elliot to make her run off like that? 'Cause if you hurt her...
      Jake: I didn't say anything! Everyone around here is crazy.
      Janitor: That's not true. Let me put down my bag of rats and explain something to you...
      Jake: Bag of rats? Those alive?
      Janitor: Most of 'em are. I put a dead one in the middle, that way all the live ones get a good look at him, they start toeing that line. Know what I'm saying?
      Jake: I very much don't.

    • Carla: Elliot, do you see the problem with trying to appeal to its human side?
      Elliot: He doesn't have one.
      Carla: Exactly! But what does he have?
      Elliot: A shaved chest, a closetful of tiny tee shirts, and the eyes of a madman.
      Dr. Cox: OHHHH! I'm sorry! The correct answer she was looking for is "a giant ego"! I have a giant ego!
      Elliot: Dammit! I knew that!

    • Elliot: I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here! I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether!
      Dr. Cox: And on behalf of men everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the ones in the little mud huts - let me be the first to say thanks and halleluia!

    • Elliot: Dr. Cox, this is the most painful thing I've ever done, and I was a cutter for a week in high school - my shop teacher thought scars were sexy, but that is a whole other story. The point is your advice really worked with Jake, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me some more help.
      Dr. Cox: Oh, no problem Barbie. Let me just finish writing this, uh, prescription. You'll be all squared away.
      Elliot: This a prescription for "no."
      Dr. Cox: Correctomundo. It's to be taken with food every Saturday night while you're eating alone.

    • Jake: I don't know what the odds are, J.D., but what I do know is I'm about to go down to my truck, get my kayak paddle, and go Greg Barton on your ass.
      J.D.: Who's Greg Barton?
      Jake: He's a famous kayaker.
      J.D.: Oh, Greg Barton!
      Jake: I hate you, J.D.
      J.D.: I know.

    • J.D.: Yes. Here's Ted, our brilliant hospital attorney. Sharp as a tack.
      Ted: Mark my words, Jake! We're gonna take every last cent you have!
      J.D.: No, no, Ted, we're on his side.
      Ted: Oh. Here's my card.
      Jake: This is a post-it.
      Ted: I don't get real cards until I win a case.
      J.D.: Go take a nap, Ted.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Of course, he wouldn't've been able to do it if it weren't for his secret weapon...
      J.D.: Dr. John Dorian.
      Jake: What?
      J.D.: Wha?
      Jake: You just said your name in a weird kinda summing-up way.
      J.D.: No I didn't, Jake.
      Dennis: Ah, so you're Jake! Uh, as I understand it, you just talked my sister into ending her life. Long story short: I'm a lawyer, I'm suing you. Once again: Sister dying, brother lawyer, suing you!
      J.D.: See, that's summing up in a weird way.

    • Turk: I've been hitting you.
      J.D.: Yeah, you're like the brown Hulk.

    • Elliot's Narration: Oh my God, here he comes. Okay, this is easy, just compliment him - tell him he has a square head. That's not a compliment! What shape is a compliment? Triangle? Uh, pyramid? Circle! Circle head! Oh my God, you're stuck on shapes and Square-Head's almost here!

    • Janitor: Elliot. My neighbor fainted too! Hey, you wanna go clubbing tonight? And I don't mean dancing - I mean going up to the roof and killing rats.
      Elliot: Janitor. I thought we were done with this?
      Janitor: I know. Thought I'd give it a shot.
      Elliot: Ugh. Just...put her back in her room.
      Janitor: She's not a patient. I got her at the mall!

    • J.D.: Keep it light! Open with a joke, and before you know it you and your raft will be on a four-hour trip to New Zealand!
      Jake: No, it's more like fourteen hours.
      J.D.'s Narration: Oh no. You're dangerously close to revealing that geography is your Achilles heel. Say something smart to regain credibility.
      J.D.: Vasovagal syncope is mediated by the autonomic nervous system. And Betty needs you, pal. She does! Come on, do it. You'll feel good, trust me.
      Jake: Trust you? You don't even know where New Zealand is.
      J.D.: You can dance your way there from Old Zealand.

    • J.D.: She just wants to talk to you for a minute.
      Jake: Yeah? About what?
      J.D.: Just about how and when she should die.
      Jake: Oh, that's not a problem. I counsel most of my random neighbors on their deathbeds.

    • Carla: That's the worst advice I've ever heard!
      Dr. Cox: Good point, Carla. Say, you don't happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?

    • Dr. Cox: Hat's off, there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhea and stunned silence.

    • Elliot: Hey, Jake. Heh. So, uh, you're probably rushing home to wipe the old person smell off before your trip, huh?
      Jake: Excuse me?
      Elliot: No, I'm just kidding. I love old people. Still, there's no denying they have a distinctive smell. I mean, it's nothing bad, it's like a...general mustiness... Like, you know, when you get your cast taken off mold....

    • Betty: Is Dr. Reid coming back?
      J.D.: Oh, don't worry about her, Betty, you're in good hands with Dr. Dorian.
      Betty: Who's that?
      J.D.: That's me! Betty, Dr. Dorian. Cocoon. Wilford Brimley. Steve Guttenberg. The whole day. No?

    • Jake: If everything's all right here, I'm kind of on my way to the airport. I'm going kayaking with some friends in New Zealand.
      Elliot: Cool! So, what are you gonna do there?
      Jake: Mostly kayaking.

    • J.D.: So, Betty, you're back with us. And I see you brought a young, handsome buck with ya. What are you, trying to make me jealous? You know you're my gal!
      Betty: Who are you?
      J.D.: I'm Dr. Dorian. Uh, I'm the one that's taken care of you the last nineteen times you've been in here. She's getting a little forgetful - you know how that happens. Are you a relative?
      Jake: Uh, no, neighbor. I only met her once.
      Betty: It was raining, and you were wearing a blue sweater!
      J.D.: That's a lovely memory, Betty. You know what else is a lovely memory - that Sunday I spent eight hours helping you join the Wilford Brimley fan club. You don't remember that, do ya.

    • Todd: Nurse, suction.
      Nurse: The patient's not even here yet.
      Todd: I know.

    • Elliot: Uh, do you guys think that Clarissa is more attractive than me?
      Dr. Cox: Yes...who's Clarissa?
      Elliot: She's the short, balding woman in the pharmacy.
      Dr. Cox: Oh, then definitely yes.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Still, finding an apartment has not been easy.
      J.D.: I'm so sorry about your father. I'm sure he lived a wonderful life at... 14 Maple Drive, Apartment 4B. Was he lucky enough to enjoy a washer and dryer in his unit while he was alive?... Ever mention any hot neighbors?

    • Hooch: Everyone hates you guys.
      J.D.: Oh, Hooch!
      Turk: Hooch is crazy!

    • J.D.: Hey, Hooch!
      Hooch: That's my name....don't wear it out.
      J.D.: Classic Hooch!

    • J.D.: Listen, even though I'm not gonna be paid, I'm gonna cover your shift at the clinic tonight so you can do Mr. Schindler's endoscopy.
      Turk: And I'm gonna cross-cover all of Dr. Turner's patients so Turner can assist you on the procedure.
      Hooch: Why you guys going through so much trouble?
      Dr. Kelso: Who's doing the endoscopy on Mr. Schindler?
      Turk/J.D.: Turner and Hooch!

    • Dr. Cox: No Carla, men don’t love that. It turns out that we don’t love picnics, foreplay, candles, baths, photo albums or when you drive so we can relax. And always we’re not that big on Hugh Jackman. The only thing men actually care about as far as dating is concerned is the chase. If you want that guy to look your way, listen to me carfully, ignore the living hell out of him.

    • Janitor: (Panting) They're smart, they are organized...and they've got my keys!

    • Dennis: (On phone) Thank you. (Hangs up) I just got my sister into the hospital across town so I can finally get her out of this hell-hole.
      Dr. Kelso: Hey! I personally see to it that every inch of this building is up to the highest standards and codes!
      (Just then a stream of escaped rats scurry past his feet)
      Dr. Kelso: Well, that's just bad timing!
      (The Janitor chases after with a baseball bat)
      Janitor: Come back here! Sorry!

    • Turk: Couples therapy is killing me.
      Todd: I don't know how you do it! Make love with your lady in front of some old dude who's filming you?
      Turk: That's not couples therapy Todd.
      Todd: Then what did I do?
      Turk: You did amateur porn!
      Todd: Sweet.

  • NOTES (3)


    • Jake the Snake:

      Dr. Cox: (To Elliot) Here comes Jake the Snake.

      Jake "The Snake" Roberts is/was a professional wrestler in WWF/E and TNA.

    • Turner & Hooch: Dr. Turner is played by Jim Hanks, Tom Hanks' brother. This alludes to the fact that Tom Hanks played Turner in Turner & Hooch.

    • Turner & Hooch:
      Turner & Hooch refers to the 1989 movie starring Tom Hanks. A detective must adopt the dog of a dead man to help him find the murderer.