No results found.
No results found.
No results found.
Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Dr. Elliot Reid
Dr. Grace Miller
"Feel The Sun" by Bryan Schaefer
"One Thing" by Finger Eleven
When Carla knocks on the OR window, she has two folders. The bottom one says "CAKE ISSUES!" and the top one says "CAKE ISSUES" with out the exclamation mark. When it cuts to a closeup on her face, you can clearly see that the top folder has an exclamation mark!
As Turk is eating in the cafeteria, Carla rushes in with her planner and a purple folder with wedding papers. As Carla sits down, she sets down the planner and the closed purple folder. However, after Turk tells Carla that everything is cool, the camera cuts to Carla and suddenly the purple folder is open and exposed are a bunch of wedding papers.
While looking at their wedding cake, Turk complains about the white bride and groom cake topper and says that they don't make interracial cake toppers. Actually they do, one company even mix-matches bride and groom with options of caucasian, Latino, and African-American.
Dr. Miller: Dr. Turk. Meet me in the O.R.
Turk: Fat flaps?
Dr. Miller: You got it!
Turk: I love fat flaps.
Carla: I love you!
Carla: Do you want me to re-invite her?
Turk: Do you want her there?
Carla: No. She's too pretty. I want people looking at me.
Dr. Kelso: If you're wondering what this is, Perry, it's a list of the hundreds of people who've already signed up for our full body scan.
Dr. Cox: Well, bully for you, there, Bobbo.
Sean: Hey! So, U-Haul is parked outside, everything I own is in there. Well, except for this half of my salad tongs, but I-I was using it to scratch myself on the way over.
Dr. Cox: Not yet, you don't.
Mr. Corman: For Pete's sake... Will you leave me alone?
Dr. Cox: Look! This baby would mess with a normal person's mind. So please hear me when I say that if you get this scan, it will ruin you. The next year of your life is gonna be a series of endless tests, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep that from happening to you. Even if it means giving you free medical treatment the rest of your life.
Mr. Corman: How can I believe that you even care about me?
Dr. Kelso comes in.
Dr. Kelso: How are we doing, Mr. Corman?
Dr. Cox: Oh, uh, Bob. We, uh, we just had our scan. You win.
Dr. Kelso: And...?
Dr. Kelso holds his hand up and Dr Cox kisses his ring.
Dr. Kelso: Now, Perry, I know that was our first date, but next time, don't be afraid to put a little feeling into it.
Baker: Miss Espinosa, it was a little difficult changing your cake at the last minute, but I was able to make it non-dairy like you requested.
Carla: My Uncle Ramon thanks you, and the rest of the people at table 3 thank you even more.
Dr. Cox: Listen to me! I am not losing a bet to Bob Kelso!
Mr. Corman: All this concern about my health and my well-being, and it's about a bet!? You know what, that's a pretty reprehensible thing to do! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have a full body scan to take!... You drove me here. I'd like to see a dessert menu, please.
Mr. Corman: Listen, I appreciate the lunch. But are you actually trying to convince me, an admittedly frugal hypochondriac, not to get a free full body scan?
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything! Although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well, look who never learned to share.
Carla: Okay, why are you mad? You told me to un-invite people!
Turk: So, without asking, you went to my new boss and told her you didn't want her to come to the wedding.
Carla: Nooo. I told her we didn't want her to come.
Mr. Corman: Hey, what's going on?
Dr. Cox: Zip it. I know a shortcut.
Mr. Corman: Help! I'm getting chair-jacked!
Mr. Corman: Thanks for the lift. Because, for some reason on Tuesdays, my feet just swell up like Jiffy Pop bags. I'm sure it'll show up on the scan. Oh, if anything turns up green, it's probably an emerald that I swallowed from my mother's jewelry box when I was five. Gee, I'd like to get that back to her...
Elliot: You guys! Guess what. I just asked Sean if he would move in with me and... tell 'em what you said!
Elliot: Isn't that great!
Janitor: That is great! Isn't that great?
J.D.'s Narration: Full-lipped bastard.
Turk: Baby, I don't get it. Last night I was the golden boy, and now I'm fat flap guy. Why would Dr. Miller turn on me? I've been great in surgery, I've been nice to her... she's coming to the wedding!
Carla: No, she's not.
Carla: I un-invited her.
J.D.'s Narration: In the heat of battle, it's important to hold your ground.
Mr. Corman: Doctor.
Dr. Cox: Well, now, Bobbo, you hooked him, you got him in the boat, but he still got away!
J.D.'s Narration: Because victory can be snatched away at the last second.
Dr. Kelso: Mr. Corman, your full body scan is on the house.
Mr. Corman: I'm listening.
Janitor: For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it - "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Oooh, the last second, something might- oooh oooh oooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel.
Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from Bookkeeping.
Janitor: Why don't you just let her be happy with... stunningly handsome, full-lipped guy.
Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
Mr. Corman: Why should I even listen to you? The last time I was here, you tried to torture me to prove a point. Dr.- Dr.- Dr.-
Dr. Cox: Cox.
Mr. Corman: Mengele!
Dr. Cox: Uh!
J.D.: She's quite mad, you know. I hope she doesn't rub off on you.
Todd: Oh!... Too easy.
Dr. Cox: I'm not even sweatin'! Because, honest to God, what kind of gullible chump would go ahead and spend a thousand dollars on some silly scan if he's feeling perfectly fine?
Mr. Corman: Hello, Laverne! Shirle!
Turk: Close your eyes.
Turk: Take a deep breath... See how good that feels? Now take another one... Take another one.
Carla: Are you watching my boobs?
Turk: Deep breath! Nice!
Carla: Everything's wrong again!
Turk: Baby, it's cool. We're meeting with the cake guy tomorrow.
Carla: Nothing's cool! Nothing's cool!
Turk: Okay, okay-
Carla: The centerpieces are supposed to be cupids, but they have no arrows, so now they're just fat babies. I have 187 people who RSVP'd "yes" for a 125-seat wedding. Plus, I have to wear my grandmother's choker, but with my hair up it makes me look like one of those African tribeswomen with a coil around my neck!
J.D.: Oh, just make sure you got all your things out of my bedroom, okay?
Danni: I put all my stuff at Danny's house three days ago.
J.D.'s Narration: It actually wasn't that awkward breaking up with Danni. It was... a little odd that she stuck around for two hours to do her morning yoga.
J.D.: Anyway, I have to break up with her.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay, just let her down easy.
J.D.: Danni, I'm not sure how to do this but, uh... I just don't think we should see each other anymore.
Danni: Cool. I'm already kinda sleeping with this guy named Danny, anyway.
Turk: Whoa! I guess she wasn't calling out her own name after all!
J.D.: You know what! I don't even care, you know why? Because I bet she's calling out my name while she's sleeping with him!
Danni: No, I don't!
J.D.: See, like a bat, dude! Like a bat!
J.D.: Dude, Danni did the weirdest thing last night - she called out her own name during sex.
Turk: That is weird. Why are we whispering?
J.D.: Because she hears like a bat.
Turk: Bats hear really well?
J.D.: Yeah, 'cause they can't see.
Turk: Oh, yeah, that's right, sonar. Wait a second, that's whales!
J.D.: No, no, no, no, no. Bats and whales, bats and whales!
Turk: Okay, okay, okay.
Danni: I'm gonna go put some clothes on. After all, I am a lady... Oh, by the way, I used your razor to shave my pits.
J.D.: Keep it.
Girl: Mommy? When's daddy coming home?
Mother: He isn't. If only he'd loved us enough to get a full body scan at Sacred Heart!
J.D.: Hey, Turk! Where're you guys gonna live after you get married?
Carla: You mean where you gonna live?
Turk: Baby, not now. Don't know yet!
Danni: You know what I was thinking?
J.D.: Nobody cares, Danni.
Dr. Cox: Color me intrigued, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: I am considering offering full body scans here at Sacred Heart. What do you think?
Dr. Cox: I think showing perfectly healthy people every harmless imperfection in their body just to scare them into taking invasive and often pointless tests is an unholy sin.
Dr. Kelso: Does sound a little sketchy ethically, doesn't it? Thanks, Perry.
Dr. Cox: Did that just happen? Anybody?
(Sean & Elliot walking past J.D.)
Sean: It's, just it's so hard to make myself look for an apartment when im sharing my bed with the most beautiful girl in the world.
J.D.: Really, what's his name? (starts drinking coffee)
J.D.'s narration: That made absolutely no sense, so just keep sipping
J.D: Guess it's just the two of us.
Danni: Do you wanna have sex?
J.D: I guess.
Danni: Do I have to look at you?
J.D: Please don't.
Danni: Shut up!
Mr. Corman: Please, call me Harvey.
Dr. Cox: "Harvey Corman"?
Mr. Corman: Doesn't get me as much action as you'd think.
Turk: I cannot believe you are freaking out about this! It's a great idea!
Carla: Turk! We are not having wedding PIE!
Turk: That is so typical of you, Carla! This whole wedding has been about you, and I'll prove it!
Carla: Give me back my wedding planner!
Turk: Frank Sinatra as our first dance. Please, baby, that guy has only got one good song. You got...pink roses. I hate pink! Big screen TV at the reception! Big screen TV at the reception?
Carla: I knew how much you wanted to see the play-offs.
Turk: What's up with the white people on top?
Carla: Turk, they don't have tiny plastic interracial couples.
Baker: I'll just color it in with some chocolate frosting.
Turk: Oh, that's a great idea. Put 'em in blackface.
Sean: Elliot listens to you, J.D. Why are you messing with her head?
Danni: It's 'cause he wants what he can't have.
J.D.: Okay, new rule! Hospitals are for doctors and sick people only! Okay?
J.D.'s Narration: What does Sean have that I don't have?
Janitor: Don't compare yourself to him. He's better.
Turk: I'm ready to make the first incision.
Dr. Miller: Nah-uh! You get to retract the pannus.
Turk: You want me to hold the fat flaps?
Dr. Miller: More than anything in the world.
Mr. Corman: Now, if you will excuse me, I've already talked to the insurance company, so there is nothing you can say that can stop me from doing this!
Dr. Cox: Now, Mr. Corman, apparently your insurance company's not gonna cover it.
Mr. Corman: Good day to you, sir.
Turk: Please, man. I'm Christopher Duncan Turk.
J.D.: His dad loved doughnuts.
Turk: That's not true. Okay, you really need to stop saying that.
J.D.: How's the chicken today?
Carla: Oh, my God! Turk! What if someone's vegetarian!? I gotta go call the caterer!
Turk: Thank you. I just calmed her down.
J.D.'s Narration: She seems almost peaceful...
Danni: Later, butt-licks!
J.D.'s Narration: Maybe not.
Todd: Dude. Why is Hot Doc being so nice to you lately?
Turk: I don't know, but it's about time. I haven't had to work this hard to win someone over since Carla's mom.
Todd: I thought Carla's mom hated you?
Turk: Yeah, but she died, so I'm counting it as a win.
J.D.: Look Elliot, every year we bounce around this thing and I never had the courage to just stand up and tell you how I feel... I'm crazy about you. And I want you to know, if I had the choice of hanging out with anyone in the entire world, or sitting at home with you, eating a pizza, watching a crappy TV show, I'd choose you everytime.
Elliot: I.. I have to go.
J.D.'s Narration: I think that the problem with most people who want what they can't have is that, when they actually get the thing they covet, they don't want it anymore. But not this guy.
Elliot: Well, Dr. Dorian, you have me. You finally have me.
She snuggles close to him, and he finally takes a moment to realize what he has
J.D.'s Narration: Oh, my God! I DON'T WANT HER!
Sean: Yeah, and I gotta get up early and look for an apartment.
Elliot: Yeah, he wouldn't take this perfect one he saw today just 'cause the last tenant died there.
Sean: Elliot! Rats ate his tongue out!
Elliot: Yeah, but the kitchen was so cute!
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not dying of anything, although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions, I will be forced to kill you.
Mr. Corman: Well look who never learned to share.
Dr. Cox: Damnit all to hell Bob. I cannot believe you're gonna turn this hospital into some money making machine that coerces people into spending their hard earned cash on expensive procedures that they don't even need.
Dr. Kelso: Why not? Sounds like something I'd do.
Dr. Cox: You mark my words, if one single person gets a full body scan, I will, (pauses) I will kiss your ring.
Dr. Kelso: I will take that bet champ. You're our witness Laverne.
Laverne: How very exciting for all of us.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have?
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!
Todd: Man, I'd smoke her!
J.D.: Quiet time Todd.
Mr. Corman: I wanna know everything that's wrong with me.
Dr. Cox: Mr. Corman, you're not even feeling bad, you don't need this scan. If it would make you happy, we can just go ahead and do the exact same thing we've done the last fifty times you've been in here - take your temperature, draw some blood and give you a rectal. It's your basic "Aw", "Ow", "OOOWWW!".
Dr. Cox: I can't believe Kelso really asked my opinion, you know?
Janitor: Look pal, if I wanted to sit and listen to someone yammer on about their lives, I'd be at my A.A. meeting right now.
Dr. Cox: Listen there scrub brush, it just so happens it was the only empty seat in the whole joint and besides, as a fellow abusive drinker you are honor-bound by bar stool protocol to listen to every last word out of my mouth.
Dr. Kelso: I need your opinion about something.
Dr. Cox: Yes Bob, those pants do make you look like you're holding water.
Dr. Kelso: Perry, I'll tell you the same thing I told a comic I once saw in a strip club in Reno; I'm not here for the jokes.
J.D.: So, moving in together?
Elliot: Yeah. It's a little scary.
J.D.: It is scary. You know, I knew this girl in college who moved in with her boyfriend - everything changed. Stopped talking to each other, started fighting all the time and... you know the rest.
Elliot: They broke up?
J.D.: Oh no, he killed her.
Nurse: Dr. Reed, they need you to check on that stabbing victim in room 301.
J.D.: (whispers) Could be you.
Scott Foley and Tara Reid are credited as "Special Guest Stars".
The voice of the little boy with a deep voice is done by the Director, Richard Alexander Wells.
Kelso begins providing full body scans at Sacred Heart. Invented in South Africa in the 1980's as an easy way to keep diamond miners honest and first used in the US at the Shock Trauma Center (at the University of Maryland), Statscan has recently become a new tool in hospitals allowing full body X-Rays in just 13 seconds.
One lucky fan recieved a walk on role for this episode. Read EVERYTHING about it here!
Dayna Devon had 1 line in this episode. She is the host of the entertainment show Extra! A few weeks before this episode, the show did a backstage look at Dayna's day of filming, showing her interacting with the cast, and a few quotes from Sarah Chalke and Zach Braff.
"Mr. Korman" is finally revealed to be "Harvey Korman" which is inferring that he has the same name as accomplished actor Harvey Herschel Korman, who is best known for his work as villain Hedley Lamarr in the movie Blazing Saddles.
J.D.: She's quite mad, you know.
J.D. says that line in exactly the same tone that Jerry Seinfeld said it in to Jane Leeves' character when she was talking about organizing his closets.
Interestingly, Larry Thomas, who played The Soup Nazi in Season 7, guest stars in the episode "My Self-Examination".
Mr. Korman refers to Dr. Cox as "Dr. Mengele". This is an allusion to the infamous Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele who was known for torturing people by doing experiments on them.
Laverne & Shirley:
Two of the nurses Dr. Kelso is talking to are Laverne and Shirley, referring to the 1976 hit TV show. Mr. Korman even greets the nurses in a manner similar to Michael McKean And David Lander's Laverne & Shirley characters,Lenny and Squiggy.
The Janitor's reference to Ross & Rachel as a couple is an allusion of the hit series Friends.
User Score: 4485
User Score: 2562
User Score: 518
User Score: 290
User Score: 239
User Score: 237
User Score: 154
User Score: 149
User Score: 144
User Score: 130
User Score: 129
User Score: 129
User Score: 122
User Score: 120
User Score: 115
User Score: 115
User Score: 114
User Score: 111
User Score: 90
User Score: 76