Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Dr. Elliot Reid
Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian
Nurse Laverne Roberts
The posters/billboards promoting Sacred Heart include the phrases:
"Wellness through diversity"
"Time to get an EKG, G"
"Our MD's have Mad Skills"
"WAZZUP? Your white blood cell count at Sacred Heart"
J.D.'s Girl Name: Supergirl
When Turk and Carla are discussing her problem regarding Elliot, behind Turk the clock shows 2:25, then 2:20 and then after a quick apology from J.D., who just popped up, 2:35.
Ted tells Dr. Kelso when he started working at Sacred Heart, he had hair. In a later episode, he tells other characters that he got his high school girlfriend by posing as her friend's dad because he lost his hair in 8th grade.
"Going Out With A Bang" by G-Sleep
"See Ya Around" by Keren DeBerg
"Wonderful" by Everclear
"The Magican" by Bobby McCall & Dontrell Mayfield
Carla: Elliot, there's no excuse for what I did.
Elliot: No, there's not... Are we done?
Carla: I'm really sorry.
Elliot: Don't be. If I was going out with my friend, I wouldn't invite you... Who am I kidding. Yes, I would, and she'd probably like you better and neither one of you would ever talk to me again.
Turk: You know, you're gonna have to see her eventually.
Carla: No I don't, 'cause I know the layout to the air-duct system here like the back of my hand.
Turk: Remember our college brochures?
J.D.: So what, they put you on the cover.
Turk: What makes you think I'd wanna be part of this, J.D.?
J.D.: I don't know! Kelso said it would make us role models. I guess I just assumed that-
Turk: Yeah, everybody assumes that I'm a good athlete, or-or-or that I grew up poor, or that I love 'Sanford and Son'.
J.D.: But you do love 'Sanford and Son'... We both do.
Janitor: When I saw that it was missing, did you not think I'd come to you?
J.D.: I don't know what you're talking about.
Janitor: Oh. So you're gonna play it that way, huh? Touche.
Reporter: Okay, we're rolling. So, how is my cameraman doing?
J.D.: Well, good enough that he asked me for mouth-to-mouth again!
J.D.: She is ta-haasty. Watch me work a little cat-and-mouse game with her.
Turk: She's married to the sound-man, bud. And that little thing that's clipped to your collar, that's a microphone.
J.D.: Dr. Cox? Have you been here the whole time?
Dr. Cox: No; I just came in through the couch door. Move.
J.D.: But I thought you said you were too busy to do my evaluation?
Dr. Cox: I am... Didn't her daddy sell the coal mine?
Laverne: Contract didn't stick.
Dr. Cox: Ohhh. That's interesting.
J.D.'s Narration: I can't evaluate myself.
J.D.: Would you describe me as 'warm', 'professional', or both?
Laverne: I describe you as: I'm on my lunch.
Elliot: So, what are we doing tonight?
Carla: Oh... go out to dinner, I guess.
Elliot: Ooh, dinner! Where're we gonna eat?
Carla: Oh, I don't know, some restaurant.
Elliot: Mmm! Some restaurant! Be honest, um, does this look, uh, "hip" enough?
Carla: Since when are khakis, a pink shirt, and a neckerchief not hip?
Ted: Sir, I've been the hospital's legal counsel for... well, let's just say when I started, I had hair... And a wife and family... The point is, I'll never get a raise without the support of senior staff like yourself.
Dr. Kelso: Can't do it.
Ted: Well, you did what you could!
Carla: So, do you want to get drunk and beg me to have sex with you now, or do you wanna wait till 2 o'clock tonight?
Turk: Let's wait.
Carla: Before you deny that you like looking at strange naked women - again - I should remind you that when you stay at my place, it's not a hotel; the movie titles do come up on the bill.
Turk: I'm sticking with we were protesting...J.D.?
J.D.: Outraged and disgusted.
Elliot: Who cares? It's only a grade.
J.D.: Really, what'd you get?
Elliot: An A-plus. But, then I turned on the water-works and the resident changed it to an A-plus-plus.
J.D.: It's a proud day for women everywhere.
Reporter: Excuse me, are you gentleman visiting the club?
Turk: No!... We're here protesting.
J.D.: I'm worried about the kids.
Reporter: So what's that in your pocket?
J.D.: Oh, this is just, um, it's thirty-eight dollars in singles... I-I bought a newspaper, and this is the change from my forty.
J.D.'s Narration: One of the best things about my friendship with Turk is that we're always challenging each other to try new things.
J.D.: I can't believe we're going to a strip club for lunch.
Turk: Oh, don't even think about it that way. This is just a nice place to buy a burger that's a short, convenient two-and-a-half-mile walk away from the hospital.
Dr. Cox: (emerging from the shadows) It's time. Sit down.
Now what do you want me to say? That you're great? That you're raising the bar for interns everywhere?
J.D.: I'm cool with that.
Dr. Cox: Well I'm not gonna say that. You're okay. You might be better than that someday, but right now all I see is a guy who's so worried about what everybody else thinks of him that he has no real belief in himself. I mean, did you even wonder why I told you to do your own evaluation?
J.D.: I can't think of a safe answer, I just figured...
Dr. Cox: CLAM UP! I wanted you to think about yourself, and I mean really think. What are you good at? What do you suck at? And then I want you to put it down on paper. And not so I could see it, and not so somebody else could see it, but so you could see it. Because ultimately, you don't have to answer to me, and you don't have to answer to Kelso...you don't even have to answer to your patients, for God's sake! You only have to answer to one guy, newbie, and that's you! There. You are...evaluated. (tosses evaluation to J.D.) Now get the hell out of my sight. You honest-to-God get me so angry I'm afraid I just might hurt myself.
Carla: You're such a guy. You can't even begin to understand something this deep on any kind of real emotional level.
J.D.: Hey, Turk. Look, I'm really sorry about the whole poster thing. It was racially insensitive of me; I should have been more aware of your feelings before I went ahead and spoke for you.
Turk: It's okay, your intentions were good, and there's never been an issue of race between us. Since the day I met you, you've been nothing but a friend to me.
J.D.: I love you, man.
Turk: Hit me one.
J.D.: Keep it real!
Turk: Yeah, we've got some things to work out, but, we'll get there... we'll get there.
Elliot: Ooh, someone's a cradle-robber!
Patricia: Darryl's my son.
Elliot: Oh, come on, the only way he could be your son is if you had him when you were, like, fifteen.
Elliot: Oh... I was close.
Janitor: Well, well, well, look what magically found it's way back!
J.D.: Window cleaner?
Janitor: No, this is ammonia. The window cleaner is... (looks around) why?
J.D.'s narration: That's just bad luck
Janitor: When I saw it was missing, did you not think I'd come to you?
J.D.: I don't even know what it is!
Janitor: Then why take it?
J.D.: Holy inferiority complex Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
Turk: It could be worse. You could be Alfred the butler.
J.D.: Damn you, sir.
(Janitor's digging through trash)
J.D.: Did you lose something?
Janitor: No, why? Did you take something?
Janitor: What'd you take?
Janitor: What'd you take?
Dr. Cox: (To J.D.) Listen Super Girl, I'm gonna break you down into so many little pieces that my grandmother, who can do a thousand piece puzzle of clear blue sky in less than an hour will never be able to finish putting you back together again, even if she does go back in time to when her vision was perfect.
Dr. Cox: Look Doogie, I'm up to my cha-chas in busy-work so I'm gonna go head take a rain-check on your report card - just have you do it yourself.
J.D.: You didn't even fill out my name.
Dr. Cox: Well now I think its John or Jimmy or "Jeh" or "Mmh" - oh gosh its in the j-family, but if you get trouble just ask the nurses for help.
Turk: Yeah, Dr. Kelso, um 'bout these posters, they're kinda makin' me uncomfortable.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you felt that way. Well here's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna leave them up.
Turk: I can live with that, or I can sue you.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turk, you are an employee here. I can advertise however I wish. I can use your image, your name, I can manufacture tiny-little Dr. Turk action figures. It'll cost twelve-ninty-five and when you pull the string it'll say "I don't like these posters of me!" Isn't that right Ted?
Ted: Oh definately sir. Of course you'd certainly be vulnerable from a legal stand-point.
Dr. Kelso: How vulnerable?
Ted: Sir, that lawsuit would be over so quickly, I'd advise you to bring cab fare to the courthouse since Doctor Turk would be driving your beamer home to his place.
Dr. Cox: (Talking to the hospital board) I would like to make a special mention of one intern here, John Dorian. Smart kid, he's extremely confident and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something. I see in him twenty-four hours a day. He cares, probably cares too much, but he's definately somebody you don't wanna loose. Now if you have any questions, well I could give a crap I'm going home, you all get paid too much for doing nothin' anyway.
Original International Airdates:
Czech Republic: December 20, 2012 on Prima COOL
Title Explanation: "My Fifteen Minutes" refers to J.D.'s fifteen minutes of fame after saving the cameraman.
This episode was specially broadcast on Thursday, following an all new episode of Friends. NBC was considering replacing low-rated Inside Schwartz for Scrubs in that slot, and launching the new Watching Ellie in the post-Frasier slot, but Scrubs had almost the same ratings as Inside Schwartz, so it remained on Tuesday nights.
The billboards in the episode actually ran in real life for a time to advertise the show.
Dr. Cox condescendingly calls J.D. Doogie, which is in reference to the show Doogie Howser, M.D. The show starred Neil Patrick Harris as a 16-year-old doctor.
Dr. Cox: Listen, Supergirl. I'm gonna break you into so many pieces that my grandmother, who can do a 1,000-piece puzzle of a clear blue sky in less than an hour, will never be able to put you back together, even if she goes go back in time to when her vision was perfect.
Supergirl is one of DC Comics heroines, although she's most known only as Superman's cousin.
J.D.: (Into microphone) I am so sorry. And I love ZZ Top.
ZZ Top is primarily a Rhythm & Blues band, with a few hits in Classic Rock. The band is famous for the insanely long beards of several of its members. The sound guy to whom J.D. was apologizing had a similar-looking beard to that of the band's members.
Sanford and Son:
J.D.: But you do like Sanford and Son. We both do.
Sanford and Son was a sitcom that aired from 1972 to 1977. Coincidentally, the show originally aired on NBC, the same network on which Scrubs airs.
J.D.: "Holy inferiority complex Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?" This line follows the same basic format as Robin's did in the Adam West Batman: "Holy (insert lame attempt at avoiding a swearword here) Batman!"
Mary Tyler Moore Show:
The scene where Eliot drives to town with a taxi, turns around a few times and throws her hat into the air alludes to the end of the introduction of the Mary Tyler Moore Show where Mary basically does the same.
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