Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Elliot Reid
Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian
Nurse Laverne Roberts
This marks the first episode in which Kelso mentions his dog Baxter.
When Turk and Elliot are watching/talking about Red Dawn, she talks about the Russians invading Michigan. But in the film the Russians are invading Colorado.
J.D.'s Girl Names: Marsha, Gloria
This episode marks the second time Ted sings in the show.
J.D. and Dr. Cox's bar scenes are interspersed with Elliot and Turk's studying ones. Nevertheless, in the last bar scene Dr. Cox says it's 2 a.m. whilst in Turk and Elliot's previous one we can perfectly see the clock on the wall showing 6:36 p.m.
Never before in the series J.D. was shown wearing pajamas as his sleepwear. Actually, most of the times he was shown awakening or going to sleep he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Hence, the red onesie he wears on this episode was probably an addition to make his pub scene with Dr. Cox more funny.
"Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison
"Have It All" by Jeremy Kay (Elliot helps J.D.)
When everyone is on the roof fixing to throw the watermelons off the roof, you see all four of them throwing one but when they show the watermelons hitting the ground you only see three of them hitting.
The fourth one is only in view for four frames. Watch the bottom left corner. Looks like it's the one thrown by Donald Faison.
J.D. only throws two things off the roof. The ground is clean before anything hits the ground, and Elliot declares that it's time for the finale before they throw the watermellons, so it is clear that it is all that has been thrown. When the Janitor is seen cleaning up the mess, there are more objects and something orange that were not there before.
Elliot: You know, I'm so sick of this. I mean, every time I come here, I'm going to see him, so just get someone else to do this stupid project with you.
Turk: No, look. Okay, maybe the reason why I asked you to work with me on this is because I knew it would force you and J.D. to see each other.
Elliot: I don't want to get back together with him.
Turk: I'm not saying get back together, okay? You guys made a terrible couple.
Turk: You know what's the cool thing about this movie? That this could really happen.
Elliot: Which part? The Russians invading Michigan or C. Thomas Howell being a tough guy?
Carla: Dr. Kelso? This is Matthew Rice.
Ted: He's the proxy for his uncle's living will.
Dr. Kelso: What a happy coincidence, you showing up out of the clear blue sky.
Ted: Oh God.
Carla: You're okay.
Matthew: So exactly how much is my uncle leaving me? Can I ask that?
Carla: Oh, no, Mr. Rice. This isn't about his assets. This is about executing his last living requests.
Matthew: So... No money at all?
Dr. Kelso: Not a dime, kiddo. I can't tell you how glad we are to finally put all this tomfoolery to rest. Once and for all! Cup of coffee, sport?
Ted: What happened? I blacked out.
Elliot: Look me in the eyes and tell me I'm not a geek.
Turk: Come on! You still got that rubber thingie on your finger!
Elliot: Eggs can be extremely slippery!
Carla: Bambi, I warned you about getting caught up in Dr. Cox's wake. But does he listen?
Laverne: You'd think so, with those ears.
J.D.: Uncalled for, okay? Listen, it's different this time. He showed up
at my place.
Carla: He's showed up at my house before.
Laverne: Showed up at my momma's on Mother's Day.
Ted: Ruined my wedding.
Bartender: And you owe me $53.
J.D.: I, uh, think I left my wallet in my other onesie.
Turk: Excuse me, nurse. I'm ready for my sponge bath.
Carla: Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry, I can't. I gotta go pick up a CD for this coma patient of mine.
Turk: But I'm wearing silk boxers.
Turk: They're the ones with the little dogs holding the big money bags.
Elliot: I'm not a geek.
Todd: What's that on your finger?
Elliot: It's a rubber thingie that I wear to help me turn the pages... quicker...
Todd: (Laughs) She said rubber thingie.
Elliot: Okay, we can finish the synopsis for chapter four and process the Stegman data if we pull an all-nighter.
Turk: Elliot, this isn't due for another month.
Elliot: Yeah, but if we finish one week early we can just sit back and play with the fonts and margins.
Turk: Oh, whoo... Tonight's date night with Carla, and I got on special underwear.
Elliot: Go. Do you mind if I keep working?
Turk: Yeah, that works for me.
Todd: I'm wearing special underwear too. They're invisible.
J.D.: You are not going to believe what happened yesterday. Dr. Cox just went ballistic and destroyed an entire lab room. Oh yeah. Broken computers, chairs through windows, shattered beakers. Beakers, people, beakers. How is this not good gossip?
Carla: J.D., he does this every year. And whatever you do, don't get caught in his wake, because if you do, he's taking you down.
J.D.: All the way?
Carla: So do you think you can help me locate one of his family members?
Ted: I guess I could try to locate one through some legal channels, but I'm really swamped.
Carla: You know, I love your worry lines. They're so adorable, they're like sexy little forehead smiles.
Ted: Careful, I've been hurt before.
Carla: Well, I came across Mr. Rice's advanced directive, and he has a few requests he would like us to honor.
Dr. Kelso: Let's see. Blinds open. That's done. Incense burning. Close enough. Glad you called.
Carla: Dr. Kelso? He also wants to hear Poison's 'Talk Dirty to Me' once a day.
Dr. Kelso: He wants to hear whose what?
Carla: Poison. It's a heavy metal band.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, like Motley Crue, and Winger. My son was a bit of a headbanger.
Carla: I'll get a tape-deck in here and we'll just...
Dr. Kelso: Miss Espinoza, that's not necessary.
Carla: It's just one song.
Dr. Kelso: It starts out as just one song, but then before you know it, half of the hospital staff is running around piercing their genitalia, and fornicating in the back of vans.
Elliot: Turk, you are going to be so happy you picked me to co-write this study.
Turk: Hell yeah. I thought we'd start off by having a couple of beers.
Elliot: Uh, yeah. I got all the info I could find on peripheral vascular disease, and then I highlighted the important passages and color-coded them to correspond with the outline on the back of your packet.
Turk: But I don't have a packet.
(Elliot whips out a packet)
Turk: Look at that, Turk's packet. So you did this last night?
Elliot: Yeah. Why? What'd you do?
Turk: Well, Carla had to work, so I scarfed down a bunch of fast food, right, and I got back home at around 7 o'clock. I went to the bathroom at
about 8. I got out of there at 11:15. It was a good night.
Elliot: I'm a nervous poo-er.
Dr. Cox: 'Sup, Newbie?
J.D.: My mom called and said my favorite high school teacher just died.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, the correct answer to that question is 'Nothing, Sir.'
J.D.: My high school teacher Mr. Peters died. He was a great guy.
Turk: You okay?
J.D.'s Narration: Even though I see death all the time now, I still react the exact same way I did when I was a kid.
J.D.: Doin' a lot better than Mr. Peters.
J.D.'s narration: When you're a doctor you need to be prepared for anything. Heart attacks, drug overdoses, gunshot wounds, but one thing you can't prepare for is what happens after you break up with a co-worker.
(J.D. bumps into Elliot)
J.D.: Watch where you're walking!
Elliot: You watch where you're walking.
J.D.'s narration: Don't let her get the last word.
J.D.: Just... You watch where you're walking.
Elliot: You watch where you're walking!
Elliot: Okay, let's get back to work. Okay, but it's gonna be different this time, okay? We take a systematic approach, we can maximize our efficiency.
Turk: I rented "Red Dawn".
J.D.: Well, you seem fine, so...
Dr. Cox: I am not fine. I mean, why do you think we're out here at this bar at two o'clock in the morning? Just so we can go into the urinal and piss on the ice?
J.D.: I love to melt the middle.
Dr. Cox: We're out here because if I go home and go to sleep, the only thing I'm gonna be able to think about is how I gotta get up tomorrow morning and go back to that place, and you wanna know something, pal? I got nothin'. Honest to God, I got nothin'.
Dr. Cox: If you don't toss that shot back I'm gonna throw you on the counter and make you sing the theme song from 'Endless Love'.
Dr. Cox: Yucky?
Dr. Cox: Oh my God, I'm drinking with a Mousketeer.
Dr. Kelso: Interesting. It isn't often I'm paged by a nurse. As a matter of fact the last time was when... (Mumbling) Uh hm ooh, what was her name. She hasn't worked here since then. (Stops mumbling) Oh, never mind, what can I do for you and your coma patient here.
Turk: How is it that you can blow me off, and it just makes you seem sexier?
Carla: Cause you're whipped.
Turk: I thought so.
J.D.: Uh, I'm going to go to bed.
Turk: Elliot, are you going to go with him? Too early for jokes, huh? That's good to know. It's good to
Carla: So the bartender just let you skip out on the tab?
J.D.: He said I could pay him back by giving him a complete physical, which is actually scary because I never mentioned I was a doctor.
Janitor: Girl problems?
J.D.: How'd you know?
Janitor: You look like you got problems, you're a girl, hence girl problems. Watch your nails. (Closes counter)
J.D.'s narration: I guess the only positive is that a hospital's like one big family. So if one relationship ends, there are always plenty of others around you can rely on.
J.D.: Dr. Cox, I was wondering...
Dr. Cox: I'd say you're about a B cup, yeah.
Janitor: At least they're real.
J.D.'s narration: Yep, it's a good place to heal.
Dr. Cox: 'Sup newbie?
J.D.: My mom called and said my favorite high school teacher just died.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, uh, the correct answer to that question is nothing sir. Oh my God, would you look at this hell-hole. If I have to see one more broken-down piece of equipment, one more gomer who is shuffled back and forth between some God-forsaken home, one more patient who is denyed treatment because they got the wrong insurence...there are times when I'm all by myself and I concentrate as hard as I can to see if I can't make myself catch on fire like the Human Torch, and mark my words newbie, if I ever pull it off I will be back here to destroy this place.
J.D. I used to like the Silver Surfer - hang ten!
Dr. Kelso: Would you turn that up please?
Dr. Kelso: I thought I told you not to play that in the house-eh hospital.
Carla: I'm just trying to do right by my patient.
Dr. Kelso: Well as of this moment, he is no longer your patient.
Carla: Doctor Kelso you...
Dr. Kelso: Young lady, when I ask you to leave it alone, I wasn't really asking you. It's like when I ask the paper boy to avoid hitting my rose bushes, I'm not leaving it up to him, I'm saying you damn-well better do it or I'm going to forget to put the chain on Baxter. Now get on out of here and take that boom-blaster with you.
Dr. Cox: (Writing note to lab tech) Dear incompetent dumbass...
J.D.: What the hell do you think you're doing?
Dr. Cox: Right now I'm apologizing to Franklin here for breaking his favorite microscope.
J.D.: You drag me out of my house in the middle of the night, cry on my shoulder and then pretend like nothing happened.
Dr. Cox: Alright. First of all Franklin, there was no crying (whistles) say it.
Franklin: No crying.
Dr. Cox: Good boy. And you my little precious should give some thought to purchasing some non-bunching panties. They give you the extra support you love so much while protecting against those offensive lines underneath your scrubs.
J.D.: Oh I get it, I'm a girl.
Dr. Cox: Franklin, you heard it, say it.
Franklin: He's a girl.
Dr. Cox: Good boy.
J.D.: You just can't go around playing with peoples emotions because you feel like it.
Dr. Cox: Okay newbie, I'm now going to give you an opporotunity to get the hell out of here before I grab you by your ankles and redecorate Franklin's lab.
Franklin: Please go.
Original International Airdates:
Czech Republic: January 3, 2013 on Prima COOL
As of this episode, Neil Flynn (Janitor) is credited in the main cast.
Title Explanation: "Heavy Meddle" stands for the death wish of a patient to hear heavy metal music in his room everyday.
When Dr. Cox is angry with J.D., he asks if J.D. wants to commit "Hari-Kari," which is a reference to Seppuku, a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment.
The Three Little Pigs
Dr. Cox makes a reference to the children's story: "The Three Little Pigs" when he knocks on J.D.'s door and says he will blow his door down.
Carla: (Refering to Turk's imitation) Who is that? Arsenio?
Arsenio Hall is an American comedian, talk show host, and actor. He became very known after starring "Coming to America" with Eddie Murphy in 1988, which probably led to the creation of his talk show, The Arsenio Hall Show, aired from 1989 to 1994 on Fox.
Turk: (Referring to him an Elliot being friends again) The Click is back together.
The Click is a hip hop group consisting of four members who are all closely related and were raised in a single household in Vallejo, California. After their 1995 albun, they disbanded, only to regroup in 2001.
Dr. Cox: (To J.D.) If you don't toss that shot back, I'm gonna throw you up on the bar and make you sing the theme song from Endless Love.
Endless Love is a 1981 drama and romance film starred by Brooke Shields and Martin Hewitt. The movie tells the story of two teenagers while their love becomes dangerously obsessive after one of their families tries to end their affair.
The movie's theme song Dr. Cox wants J.D. to sing is also called Endless Love and was originally recorded by Diana Ross and Lionel Richie.
Carla: Poison. It's a heavy metal band.
Poison is an American rock band from Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania, which originally achieved popular success in the late 1980's and early 1990's. Its music is characterised by straightforward melodies and catchy guitar riffs. The band's tunes are often not remembered as well as their garish costumes, overblown hair, feminizing make-up and frenetic stageshow.
Mötley Crüe & Winger:
Dr. Kelso: Oh! Like Mötley Crüe and Winger.
Mötley Crüe is a popular American heavy metal band from Los Angeles, California. It's considered one of the most successful American Glam metal and hard rock bands, having sold over 42 million albums worldwide and 24 million records in the US alone.
Winger is also a popular American heavy metal band. Formed in 1987, it was considered one of the best new heavy metal bands of the late 1980's. After three major success albuns, the band disbanded in 1994.
Turk and Elliot are watching the movie Red Dawn, which explored what might happen if the Soviets invaded the United States. They choose Colorado as their target for some reason, and a bunch of students form a resistance, calling themselves the "Wolverines". Their battlecry, "Wolverines!" is repeated several times throughout this episode.
Elliot: You want to throw stuff off the roof like Letterman used to do?
Elliot is referring to an old bit of David Letterman's where he used to throw objects (usually fruit) off of high rooftops.
Dr. Cox: (About J.D.) Oh, my God! I'm drinking with a Mouseketeer.
A Mouseketeer is a member of The Mickey Mouse Club, an ABC series ran from 1951 to 1959.
J.D.: I used to like the Silver Surfer.
The Silver Surfer, a Marvel Comics superhero created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, is an alien exiled on Earth by his former master, Galactus, the Devourer of Worlds, when he refused to help Galactus destroy Earth.
Dr. Cox: There are times when I'm all by myself that I concentrate as hard as I can to see if I can make myself catch on fire like the Human Torch.
The Human Torch is another Marvel Comics superhero who is a member of the Fantastic Four and, like the rest of his team, gained his powers on a spacecraft bombarded by cosmic rays. He can fly, control fire and safely surround himself in flames.
Janitor: The horror...
These are the last words of Col. Walter E. Kurtz, Marlon Brando's character in Apocalyse Now, a 1979 drama film set during the Vietnam War focusing on Cap. Benjamin L. Willard's mission to assassinate Col. Kurtz.
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