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Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Dr. Elliot Reid
Nurse Laverne Roberts
At the cafeteria, J.D. asks Keith if he can have his pudding. When Keith looks down to pick it up before throwing it, the pudding flavor is both chocolate and vanilla, however when the Turkish guy tries to steal it later, it is all chocolate.
During this episode, Turk secretly keeps Carla on the birth control pill. However, he is shown giving her the pill at different times. The pill must be taken at a certain time each day or it loses it effectiveness. As a doctor he should know this.
The "Horse Hospital" scene originates from a comic strip by Gary Larson. (Far Side) It actually subtly references him by calling the patient with the broken leg Mr. Larson.
"Anything Can Happen" by The Finn Brothers
"Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet
"Devil Baby" by Mark Knopfler
In the opening scene you see JD handing back the Porsche to the guy who owns it plus his 'driving glasses', 'driving scarf', 'driving gloves', and 'driving sock', which is actually a 'Nike' sock.
The first cardboard cut-out that the janitor made was not from the picture shown in the episode, his head was tilted the other way and his thumb was sticking out.
When Dr. Cox arrives and sees all the cardboard J.D.'s, the supposedly real J.D. is actually also a cardboard, then when the camera switches back it's the real J.D.
The last "man" card kept switching positions in J.D.'s pocket during different shots.
In one of the scenes in the cafeteria there's a pun involving the Turks (Carla and Chris) in which there's a "Turk" (i.e. a Turkish person). The goof is that the "Turk" is dressed as a Sikh, which are not Turkish but rather come from India.
(J.D.'s trying to sneak out of the apartment in his underwear)
J.D.: I gotta make a quick twosie.
Nurse: Oh, Dr. Reid, are you joining us for lunch today?
Elliot: Ahhh... anyone want half a tofu-cheese sandwich?
J.D.: I'm gonna have a good year, aren't I?
Dr. Cox: Anything can happen.
Carla: That's it. All my birth control pills are gone.
Turk: Not exactly. That fig newton you're about to eat is not only fat-free but it's baby-free!
Carla: I just don't get it, Turk.
Turk: Look, we had sex twenty times in eight days, and I bet it's because you sensed my hesitance.
Dr. Kelso: Well, at least there's one attending around here I can count on.
Elliot: Ah, the hell with it, Bob. I don't work here! Have a good one!
Dr. Kelso: I hate this place
Dr. Cox: And it hates you, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: But now I need to know: Is this the type of attending you're going to be?
J.D.: I guess so.
Dr. Kelso: Anything else?
J.D.'s Narration: I could tell him there's nothing in my cup and I'm just pretending to drink to seem nonchalant...
Carla: Ah, you three are ridiculous.
Elliot: Hey! I'm just here to grab a ride to work.
Carla: At a hospital where you don't actually work! And you?
Turk: How am I supposed to tell you that I'm not ready to have a baby when you're so excited?
Carla: And you secretly moving back in here?... Now, I really don't love being den-mother to you three... fine, it's like crack to me.
Turk: Actually, J.D.'s been living here secretly.
J.D.: Turk, why!?!
Turk: Because I gotta get those damn judgmental eyes off me!
"Turk": J.D. didn't want to live here, I begged him.
Carla: Is that true?
Turk: I didn't say that - J.D. can do my voice.
Elliot: Hey, it's getting good!
J.D.: Well, thank you! Aw, I lost it...
J.D.'s Narration: The next morning was not good. Carla was not talking to Turk, Elliot had dropped by to help not talk to Turk, and I was sneaking out in my undies because my clothes were downstairs in the dryer.
Turk: Elliot, why are you here!?
Elliot: Oh, I have to make Kelso think I still work here so he doesn't have me arrested for stealing medical supplies.
J.D.'s Narration: As for me, I caught my culprit because he made the classic mistake of returning to the scene of the crime. And all because I, too, had been eating Turk's special homemade brownies.
Dr. Cox: Angie, my buddy down in the lab just told me that your urinalysis came back positive for the birth control pill. So! I will be taking one of... these. Thank you!
J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes you get caught because you couldn't slip your wife her pill last night, so you had to feed her one of your special homemade brownies.
Carla: What's that?
Turk: Oh, that? That's a tiny marshmallow with writing on it.
J.D.: Hey, Keith! I just called upstairs to see how Mr. Kellerman was doing? And get this - the nurse told me you never even started him on a Lasix drip. And Lisa! Imagine my surprise when she told me you never even increased his diuretic in the first place! I'm forced to ask, are you people trained killers? Say something, Keith!
Keith: Uh... I... eh... uh...
Jason: Dr. Dorian, if he gets bad enough and we have to put him on inotropes, he'll jump to the top of the transplant list and get a new heart.
J.D.'s Narration: They're messing up on purpose?
J.D.'s Narration: Being Turk's secret roommate was going great...until now.
Carla: Turk? I'm leaving for work.
J.D.'s Narration: Okay. You've been working on your Turk impression since college. Time to shine!
J.D.: (With Turk's voice) Baby, I'll be thinking about your lovelies and whatnot until the second I see you, but right now, I'm doing my business.
Janitor: How do you bother someone without being around them? That is the question.
Dr. Kelso: Dorian, I'm paying you to work, not stand around acting like The Fonz.
Carla: Elliot, you should be excited about meeting people over there. You could totally reinvent yourself.
Elliot: You're right! I'm gonna tell them that I am the most perfect doctor ever who never needs anyone's help with anything!
Turk: That'll end well.
Turk: Elliot, by the way, what are you doing here?
Carla: Oh, she hasn't talked to anybody at her new hospital yet.
Elliot: How did this conversation become about me?
Carla: Oh, babe, I borrowed your backpack this morning and all my change fell out the bottom.
J.D.: Maybe someone or something had to gnaw a hole in it to keep from suffocating.
Turk: Maybe someone already apologized for that about a hundred times.
J.D.: Well, maybe a hundred wasn't enough? I don't know.
Dr. Cox: (grabs a Man Card from J.D.'s pocket) Absolutely no lovers' quarrels.
Turk: Look, I gotta sex her up. I'll be back as quick as I can - so it'd be about a hour and a half.
Dr. Cox: Lindsay, by you reaching the level of attending physician, you have somehow managed to become a member of a club that I belong to. Obviously there was no vote. Because if there had been, you would still hear the sound of my voice screaming, "Nay, nay, oh, dear God, one thousand times nay!" That being said, it's my obligation to let you in on the organization's one and only bylaw: We're men.
Dr. Kelso: Dorian, after four years, I can only hope you are no longer following in his footsteps.
J.D.: I turned in my paperwork already, but I'm gonna wait till tomorrow to turn in my urine sample out of respect to the fellas in the lab... There's an asparagus issue.
Dr. Kelso: Now there's an answer that warrants a half-sincere pat on the shoulder.
J.D.: Thanks, Dr. Kelso! You know, he said "half-sincere" but I'm pretty sure it was full-sincere. Feel my shoulder - it's still warm.
J.D.: Hey, guys! Follow me. Listen, if you're having trouble finding a vein for an IV, please don't page me. If you're desperate, we're lucky - this is a city hospital, there are plenty of heroin addicts who are quite adept at this. Did you find a vein, there, Reverend Mayhem?
Reverend Mayhem: No problem.
Laverne: Has anybody seen Johnny, the tackling Alzheimer's patient?
J.D.: Hey! You must be Keith.
Keith: Uh, heh.
J.D.: Don't look so nervous, buddy. I got your back.
Johnny: (Tackling J.D.) WHO AM I?!
Laverne: I found him.
Laverne: Junior? Have you seen Johnny? You know, Alzheimer's patient, likes to tackle people?
Dr. Kelso: You're gonna love it here, sport.
Ted: Get out while you still can.
Ted: Seriously, get out while you still can.
Jordan: Sparky, it's five dollars a minute to stare in public. It's free in private...
Todd: Something on your shirt, kid.
Keith: (Looks down) Uh? (Todd does a nose flick) Uh!
Todd: Ha-ha-ha! Classic!
J.D.: Good morning, colleagues!
Dr. Cox: Oh, absolutely not.
J.D.: Ohh, what, Tall, Dark and Scary?
J.D.: Ow! Look, no harm done. Here are your driving glasses... here's your driving scarf... and here are your driving gloves... Fine... here's your driving sock.
Carla: Here you go, baby. I know you like foreplay, but I only have five minutes, so I made you a sandwich.
Turk: That's the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Carla: Over here, Turk.
Turk: My bad, baby.
J.D.: The Turks are sneaky.
Turk and Carla: WHAT?
J.D.: Not you guys, I think Omar stole my pudding.
J.D.: Keith! Pudding!
(Keith throws his pudding to J.D.)
J.D.: I love interns.
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I have kept my mouth shut about all the recent sexual harassment complaints because I don't think it's fair to punish a man for making small talk...or, say, asking his secretary just once to dress up as a geisha girl and call him Kelso-san...
Dr. Kelso: Nothing.
Dr. Kelso: I hate this place.
Dr. Cox: It hates you, Bob.
Dr. Kelso: Who the hell is responsible for not treating that man?
Dr. Cox: Well, Bobbo, I was going to treat him, but I lost my stethoscope.
Jason: There's so much paperwork. My dad was a veterinarian, and he never had to do any. Sometimes I wish this place were more like a horse hospital.
Elliot: I'm a little sick of the Turks.
Omar: Excuse me?
Elliot: Heh, not you, Omar. I love your people. I'm talking about their lovey-dovey crap.
Dr. Kelso: Gentlemen, a reminder: As attendings, you are expected to turn in your insurance paperwork and your required urine sample by tomorrow.
Dr. Cox: Bob, I'm not planning on doing any paperwork. But I did go ahead and leave my urine sample on your driver's side car door.
J.D.: Mr. Kellerman! How're you feeling?
Kellerman: Not great.
J.D.: Well, that's probably why you're here! Ha! Humor is a great ice-breaker for patients, okay? Follow me. Mr. Kellerman has congestive heart failure. Okay, Lisa, I want you to start him on diuretics - okay? - that way we'll loosen up some of the fluid around his lungs. The good news is he'll go home tomorrow. The bad news is, if he's not here, he won't move up the heart transplant list. See, in medicine there are lots of Catch-22s, a phrase made famous, I believe, by an old fisherman who would stay out fishing until he caught - how many fish? anybody? - that's right, twenty-two. See, in 1492, Columbus...
Dr. Cox: Newbie! If you loved the sound of your very own voice any more, you would probably just sit in a little room all day and sing to yourself.
Porsche Owner: Did you take my Porsche from the valet?
J.D. This didn't feel like my scooter.
Dr. Cox: I'm gonna go ahead and give you back one of these Man Cards. You deserve it.
J.D.: Wow. ...Wanna hug?
Dr. Cox (taking the card back): You held on to it as long as you could, didn't you?!
Dr. Cox: ..you're an attending now. And that doesn't just mean a fat bank account, expensive new toys, and a fancy lawyer on retainer for when you kill a prostitute.
J.D.: You know what I've been doing? I mean, besides listening to my Alanis Morissette CD to get pumped up to talk to you? (hands Dr. Cox a Man Card) Here.
Dr. Cox: I went ahead and took the liberty of making you five Man Cards. Hold them very dear, because every time you drop the ball, man-wise, I'm going to take one from you.
J.D.: I don't need your approval, or your stupid Man Cards! Although the lettering is darling. Have you ever done calligraphy?
Dr. Cox (snatching one of the cards): Thank you.
J.D.: Damn it!
Janitor: How depressing is it being you? Would you equate it to being a life-long Cubs fan, or being born without lips?
J.D.: Born without lips.
Janitor: I know a guy. His house just burned down.
J.D.: How sad.
Janitor: Well, he was smoking in bed. He shouldn't smoke... 'cause he looks ridiculous. "I have a snake face!"
Dr. Cox: This is my new imaginary warning light. Whenever it starts blinking, a situation has ten seconds to resolve itself before I flash white with rage and kill someone.
One, two, three, four..
(J.D. runs away and returns with his shirt around his head)
Dr. Cox: ..seven, eight, nine, and ten.
J.D.: I had a little trouble getting my Baby Gap tee-shirt off.
Dr. Cox: It'll happen.
Dr. Kelso: Perry: your lips, my ass.. they should meet.
Turk: Dude, you're still eating those brownies!
J.D.: I don't wanna get pregnant, shoot.
Elliot: Guys can't fake it!
Turk: Really?! Does this sound familar? Oh, oh, baby, we're going all night, NO WAIT DON'T MOVE...sorry.
Turk: ...you should have just let her fork me!
Elliot: I think that's how you got into trouble in the first place. Whazzzup!
Elliot: His vocabulary has gotten so much better!
Turk: I know I agreed to have a baby, but you were offering sex at the time - I would have agreed to anything.
J.D.: Ah Jason, when you're filling out a female patient's exam report, her breasts can be healthy or unhealthy never 'bangin' double D's'.
Dr. Kelso: Ketchup is for winners, Ted!
Carla: Why are you in your boxers?!
J.D.: Yes, I am, Carla! Because I know when Turk's sad, he likes me to come over in my boxers, because he likes to call me his "honky adonis." And that's what friends do.
J.D.'s Narration: They bought it? Are we that gay?
Carla: Dr. Cox says it's like having a dog that gradually learns to talk.
Portions of the episode are shown from the perspective of J.D.'s Intern, Keith. Keith goes on to become a recurring character in this series.
While JD is talking to his interns, he refers to Catch-22 and says it was a phrase made famous by an old fisherman who would stay fishing until he caught 22 fish.
In fact, Catch-22 is a self-contradictory circular logic rule, given that name in the book "Catch-22" by Joseph Heller, about war pilots in the World War II. He wrote: "There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he were sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."
The style and plot devices of "My Intern's Eyes" mimic those of M*A*S*H episode 7.10, "Point of View". In both episodes, the camera takes on the persona of a character, seeing the hospital and its staff for the first time. Aside from a few mumbles and grunts, the character never speaks until the very end of the episode to say "thank you". Also, in both episodes, the character carries around a clip board for the duration of the episode.
The Far Side:
There is a scene in which J.D. fantasizes about a hospital where the patients are treated like horses and the doctors carry shotguns. J.D. cocks the shotgun as he says to a patient with a broken leg: "I am sorry Mr. Larson, but I do not like the look of that leg." This is a parody of one of Gary Larson's "Far Side" cartoons.
When the Janitor makes his first cardboard cutout of J.D. and stands next to it, Dr. Kelso walks by and tells the J.D. cutout that he is paid to work, not to act like The Fonz. Dr. Kelso says this because the cutout of J.D. is giving the thumbs up.
The Fonz was a character on the TV show "Happy Days" played by Henry Winkler. He was famous for giving the thumbs up and saying "aaaay."
The Janitor asks J.D. how depressing it is being himself. One of the things the Janitor compares J.D.'s depression to is being a "lifelong Cub fan."
The Cubs, a Major League Baseball team, have not won a World Series since 1908 and seemingly break the hearts of their fans every season.
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