Season 8 Episode 1

My Jerks

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jan 06, 2009 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • J.D.: So, this intern you mentioned earlier, I'm sure eventually he turned into a pretty amazing doctor, didn't he?
      Dr. Cox: Actually, it was a she.
      J.D.: It wasn't me?
      Dr. Cox: Oh, no, it was you. It was you.

    • Dr. Maddox: (Looking in Ted's briefcase) Hey, how come all you have in here is a smiley face button and a revolver?
      Ted:'s in case I get sad and...the other one's in case I get really sad.
      Dr. Maddox: Well! See you tomorrow.
      Ted: We'll see.

    • Dr. Cox: Mr. Hicks' cardiac test results. They're negative. What do you know about that? Just like the 100 other tests we ordered for a man whose only complaint was shortness of breath?
      Dr. Maddox: I assume there's a nugget of a point buried in there.
      Dr. Cox: Why are you running that guy through the wringer?
      Dr. Maddox: Because he's got awesome insurance. He's a 100 percent pure profit machine. Ka, and might I add, ching.

    • J.D.: Someone needs to send those interns to an intern-ment camp.
      Turk: Dude, internment camps are never funny.
      J.D.'s narration: I always forget that Turk is one-eighth Japanese.

    • Dr. Maddox: You're fired.
      Janitor: (holding up a photo) What about my son?
      Dr. Maddox: That's my daughter!

    • Dr. Maddox: Do you think it would have been funny if you'd broken his neck?
      Janitor: I feel like you want me to say no.
      Dr. Maddox: What's your name?
      Janitor: Oh boy. You really are new here. (She looks at his security pass.) Uh oh.
      Dr. Maddox: "The Janitor".
      Janitor: Howdy.

    • J.D.: Somebody has some very soft hands.
      Ed: I sleep in gloves.

    • Dr. Maddox: (to J.D.) Alright, listen, I want you to run some renal function tests on Mr. Hicks. Can you do that, or do you have more questions about my vagina?

    • J.D.: (handing Ed's phone to the Janitor) Hey, wanna phone, buddy?
      Janitor: (pressing some buttons and then sniffing it) No.

    • J.D.: Ed! Stop texting.
      Ed: I'm not texting. I'm looking at photos of Sienna Miller's breasts. There's a difference.
      J.D.: Okay, we'll do that more later when we're together.

    • Dr. Cox: (to Carla) I know jerks. Hell, I married a jerk. I divorced a jerk.
      J.D.: New freckle.
      Dr. Cox: I'm interrupted by jerks. Look, just give me two minutes with this Maddox, and I'll know for sure whether or not she's a jerk.

    • J.D.'s narration: Okay. Time to connect with the new Chief using a picture of my son and some brilliant acting.
      Taylor: Oh, is that your boy?
      J.D.: What's that? Oh yeah. His name is Sam.
      Taylor: I have a daughter of my own.
      J.D.'s narration: It's working. Now seal the deal with a follow-up question. But nothing too personal.
      J.D.: Did you deliver vaginally?

    • J.D.: Huh! That's new.
      Janitor: Oh yeah. My girlfriend gave me a watch. Do you give a crap, or are you just hoping that by pointing out something new of mine, I'll segue the conversation in talking about something new of yours? Like your new pre-pubescent Miami Vice beard.
      J.D.: There are those who say I look like a young Kenny Loggins.
      Janitor: Who?
      J.D.: Me.

    • Denise: You know, it's ironic that cancer starts with can because at this stage there's nothing we can do about it.

    • J.D.: This patient's loss of temperature sensation on the contra lateral side is consistent with which syndrome...Rodney?
      J.D.'s narration: There was Katie, the self centered climber.
      Katie: (whispering to Rodney) McConaughey's.
      Rodney: McConaughey's?
      J.D.: McConaughey is not a syndrome, he is however one of our finest working actors. I recently learned how I could lose him in ten days. Katie is sabotaging you, I assume, because she knows the answer.
      Katie: Brown-Sequard Syndrome.
      J.D.: (sarcastic enthusiasm) Yay, Katie got it.

    • (Janitor sticks out mop handle and trips J.D.)
      Janitor: Stop confusing me by being nice and giving me phones.
      J.D.: Fine! But why'd you have to trip me?
      Janitor: Let me answer that question with another question: 'cause I wanted to.

  • Notes

    • The large ambulance behind the Janitor while he is talking to Dr. Maddox outside is actually hiding the generator used on set.

    • This was originally the fifth episode, but because of Courtney Cox' guest appearance it was switched to the first.

    • This is the second time the song "Catch My Disease" was used in an episode. The first time it was featured was in episode "My Bad Too" (7-7).

    • Courteney Cox-Arquette is the second Friends alum to guest star on Scrubs. Matthew Perry guest starred in season four episode "My Unicorn".

    • This episode was nominated for the 2009 Emmy Award for "Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (Half-Hour) And Animation".

    • Zach Braff (J.D.) and Taram Killam (Jimmy) also worked together in Nobody's Watching, a 2006 pilot that was never turned into a series.
      Donald Faison (Turk) and Taram Killam (Jimmy) also worked together in in the 2002 movie Big Fat Liar.
      Eliza Coupe (Denise Mahoney) and Taram Killam (Jimmy) also worked together in the show Short Circuitz.

    • This episode marks the first appearances of Besty Beutler (Katie Collins), Eliza Coupe (Denise Mahoney) and Taran Killam (Jimmy).

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Latin America: May 5, 2009 on Sony Entertainment Television (aka Canal Sony)
      Sweden: October 7, 2008 on TV6
      Germany: March 16, 2010 on ProSieben

    • This is the first episode of the series to air on ABC since the switch from NBC. It is also the first episode to be shown in 16:9 widescreen.

  • Allusions

    • The couple named Neilsen, who thought that J.D. and his co-workers don't deserve recognition, are a reference to the Nielsen Ratings, a system that measures TV audience.

      The joke is that Scrubs ratings have in fact become lower lately, but that doesn't mean the crew is going to give up and cancel the show.

    • J.D. said that Dr. Shalhoub has won a lot of medical awards, while he and his co-workers haven't.

      Tony Shalhoub has won many Emmys, Golden Globes and other awards in the comedy shows performances categories for the show Monk, while Scrubs haven't, even though it has had many nominations.

    • J.D.: There are those who say I look like a young Kenny Loggins.

      Kenny Loggins is a singer, popular in the 1980s who is well known for sporting a beard.

    • Janitor: Like your new pre-pubescent Miami Vice beard?

      The Janitor is referring to 1980s show Miami Vice, where leads Tubbs and Crockett were well known for their designer stubble, trendy at that time.

    • Ed uses the screen name HotGirl99 on his Lost fansite and has the people he is trying to trick show up at the hospital with red balloons. These are both clever references to the song "99 Red Balloons" by Nena, which has been referred to in several past episodes.