Season 5 Episode 4

My Jiggly Ball

Aired Tuesday 9:30 PM Jan 10, 2006 on NBC



  • Trivia

    • If Dr. Kelso didn't want his wife to know about his STD, why didn't he write himself the prescription rather than going to a clinic where someone might recognize him?

    • Just after J.D. loses his balance on his whelchair, the camera pulls back to show that Dr. Cox and the rest of the gang are still balanced on two wheels. However, at the angle the chairs are, you can see the two metal bars, parallel to the wheels themselves, beneath the wheelchairs that prevented the actors from falling over backwards.

    • When Dr. Kelso is flashing back to when he got the earring, there is already blood on the collar of his shirt before he puts it through his ear.

    • Featured Music:
      "Sideways" by Citizen Cope

    • When Dr. Kelso is telling Cox and J.D. about the rich patient that is the "money pinata waiting to be whacked open", Kelso's monographed lab coat clearly reads "Perry Cox".

    • During the wheelchair balancing scene, when they first start to balance "Snoop Dogg Intern" is one of the Attending Balancing. He is at the back right on his cell phone. But after JDs balancing act. During the second part at the East Wing entrance of the Hospital he is not there, while the rest of the attendings are.

      Watching closely, you´ll see that he actually reappears after the camera moves back from JD to the group.

  • Quotes

    • (After being pelted with tennis balls)
      J.D.: (His entire right hand is moving) Guys, I think there might be something wrong with my spine, because I'm not doing that!

    • Orderly: (Handing Elliot a chart) This guy has an S.T.D., and he definitely doesn't want his wife to find out.
      Elliot: (Walks in, sees Kelso)
      Dr. Kelso: Crap.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Even though I had no clue what I was gonna say, Elliot's attitude inspired me to go introduce the hell out of Bob Kelso.
      J.D.: Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Bob Kelso is a-
      Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Dr. Dorian! Thank you so much for this award. Delighted to see you all...

    • Janitor: Now, anyone who caught a jiggle rebound may step up to the death line!
      Laverne: I want you to think of this as a corn muffin.

    • Janitor: As it happens, we're heading out right now to play some Jiggly Ball. Are you in?
      J.D.'s Narration: Just say no!
      J.D.: Jiggle me in.

    • J.D.: Can I talk to you for a second?
      Janitor: No. I'm busy cleaning... Haha... That one always kills.

    • Dr. Cox: Anyway, I just wanted to introduce you to our Chief of Medicine.
      Mr. Morrison: Sir, I can't tell you how well everyone's treating me.
      Dr. Kelso: That's what we're here for!
      Dr. Cox: You, uh, you forgot to tell him you were bumping him from the drug trial.
      Dr. Kelso: I've got work to do, Perry.

    • Turk: It's true, Mr. Keck, you could probably get by without the surgery. But why would you? I'm the smartest, most skilled surgeon in this place!
      Mr. Keck: Are you stuck in that candy machine?
      Turk: I paid for my Rollos, I'm getting my Rollos!

    • Carla: So anyways, we figured if I offered to do the nursing schedules, and these guys volunteered to do extra shifts at the clinic, Dr. Kelso might give you your job back!
      Elliot: No, thanks.
      Carla: Why?
      Elliot: Carla, I can't do your paperwork, I am swamped!
      Carla: I got you your job back.
      Cut to...
      Elliot: Turk, I am not giving you my last tater-tot!
      Turk: I got you your job back!
      Cut to...
      Elliot: J.D.! I don't care if they're able to successfully attach one person's limbs onto another person's body - I am not giving you my hands!
      J.D.: Job back!

    • J.D.: Dr. Bailey was fired last night.
      Carla: Why?
      Dr. Bailey: For this procedure, I'm going to have to numb you... (Clicks on his pen light and stares at the female patient's chest) Num, num, num, num, num, num, num!
      End Flashback
      Turk: You know, in Dr. Bailey's defense-
      Carla: No, no, no, no.
      J.D.: There have been times-
      Carla: No.

    • Elliot: Look, I know this place isn't the greatest, but it's not like I lie awake thinking about being yelled at by Dr. Cox or playing Jiggly Ball with the orderlies.
      J.D.'s Narration: How do I not know about this game!?

    • Elliot: I cannot believe that you told these guys!
      Turk: Elliot, she didn't. My patient told me that his clinic doctor was this blonde-haired woman who talked so fast and in such a high-pitched voice when she was upset, her words just eventually became gibberish.
      Elliot(Increasingly high pitched): I really do not talk like that. I'm getting pretty tired of you guys constantly saying (gibberish)!
      Carla: Elliot, sweetie, nobody but me can understand you.

    • Elliot: Look, Lorraine, the sooner you let me have a look at that rash, the sooner we can get you back home... I mean, back on the street, which is your home. Hey! Home Street Home, huh?... I'm sorry, Lorraine, that was incredibly insensitive.

    • Dr. Kelso: Listen up, bozos. That gentleman over there is basically a cash piñata waiting to be whacked open. So how about someone diagnoses him so I can get my candy?

    • Elliot: (On phone) All right, now repeat after me...
      Mr. Keck: "You can't decide for me, that's not your duty."
      Elliot: (On phone) And are they both trying not to laugh at the word "duty"?
      Mr. Keck: (On phone) Yeah. (To Turk and J.D.) Hey, Heckle and Jeckle, you know what? No surgery.
      Turk: (Grabs phone) Who the hell is this?
      Man: (On phone) Where are my shoelaces?
      Elliot: I said to tell him that he had a laxity in the peritoneal wall and that surgery was unnecessarily invasive! Was that so hard?

    • Turk: Mr. Keck! What do you say we get you into surgery and take care of that hernia!
      Mr. Keck: Ummm, I don't know if surgery is necessary. Last night I was in pain, so I went to a free clinic. The doctor there said surgery wasn't my only option.
      Turk: Well, you're just gonna have to get him on the phone and tell him that I won't be second-opinioned by a clinic doctor who couldn't carry my jockstrap!

    • J.D.'s Narration: I know if I just follow Dr. Kelso around for a while, he'll eventually do something decent. I'm a master of stealth, I can sneak up on anybody.
      Dr. Kelso: Why are you following me?
      J.D.: Sir, aren't you being a little paranoid?
      Dr. Kelso: I was in 'Nam, you know. They pulled off my fingernails.

    • Janitor: I bet you don't know how to play Jiggly Ball!
      J.D.: That's because there's no such thing.
      Janitor: Ha-HA! I knew you didn't know.

    • J.D.: Everyone has a human side, Coxy. Even Kelso.
      Laverne: The hell he does.

    • Dr. Kelso: Due to lack of funds, I'm shutting down our babymobile, which means there will no longer be free prenatal care for underprivileged women. Bottom line - if you're thinking about knocking up a homeless gal, I'd do it this weekend.

    • Turk: Check it out - Keith's telling Mr. Morrison about his brain tumor.
      J.D.'s Narration: Seeing an intern tell someone they're gonna die for the first time is strange. Because even though it's a horrible and sad experience, if they get through it, there's a sense of... accomplishment.
      Keith: Nailed it! Hell, yeah!

    • J.D.'s Narration: I really missed living with Turk, but living with Elliot wasn't that bad.
      Elliot: Hey, roomie! I'm having the girls from my yoga class over for drinks tonight. And F.Y.I., Tina, the tiny brunette, just got dumped - and she's looking for rebound sex! Honestly, how could I be a better roommate?
      J.D.'s Narration: She could be half Turk and half Elliot.

    • (About getting an earring)
      Dr. Kelso: It's a hip-hop world son, keep up or get out of the way.
      J.D.: I gotta get an earring.

    • Elliot: At this clinic, I get to practice medicine for people who really need me. I mean, honestly, I feel like I belong here.
      Orderly: Dr. Cole just got stabbed in the parking lot and we're out of gauze. Is it cool if I take lunch?
      Elliot: This place is crushing my soul.

    • (As Keith is checking the countertop's heart rate)
      J.D.: Ah, checking Mr. Countertop's heart rate. (Slams a pack of paper on the countertop, hurting Keith's ears) Memories. Do you know that once, Dr. Cox made me give every air conditioning unit in this hospital a pap smear? The wacky thing is room 403 did have some yeast issues.

    • (J.D.'s fondling Turk)
      Turk: Dude, what the hell are you doing?
      J.D.: I miss having you as my roommate! I don't know.

    • J.D.: (To Turk) You'd make a pretty girl.

    • J.D.: (To Carla) You knew she worked here? I can't believe you kept a secret. Remember before your wedding when you sold me out to Turk?
      Carla: You showed up drunk at my shower screaming through tears that I'd never be as emotionally connected to him as you are!
      J.D.: Turk knew I was joking.
      J.D.'s narration: Because we're so emotionally connected.
      Turk: Elliot, nobody respects clinic doctors.
      Elliot: Really, Turk? I think your hernia patient does.
      Turk: (Laughs) I'm not upset about that.
      Carla: It's obvious you are.
      J.D.: It's more obvious to me baby...I mean Turk.

    • Dr. Cox: Mr. Morrison, I understand that one of our interns spent an hour in here telling you over and over that you are going to die. I would make him apologize personally, but I'm having him spend the rest of the day checking that counter-top's heartbeat.

    • J.D.'s Narration: Over the next few weeks, I couldn't help but think about what I had planned to say in my speech and about how pride define who we are. As far as Bob Kelso goes, I know sometimes even the good things he does are for the wrong reasons. Still, I also know that I wouldn't want to have to make any of the decisions that he makes. But when all is said and done, I'd like to think he does care a little even if he's too proud to show it.

    • Dr. Cox: Look, if you get up there and start kissing Kelso's ass, all your fellow attendings will forever think of you as a brown-nosing toady. On the other hand, if you don't pucker up, Kelso will make your life a living hell. You're officially trapped.

    • Dr. Cox: Did I say he wanted a long introduction? Because Kelso just, he just likes when people say his name. Hope you didn't obsess too much about that, Newbie.

    • Elliot: I'm proud? Carla! After the wedding, you wouldn't even take Turk's name!
      Carla: I use it for official things!
      Elliot: Letting him call you Mrs. Turk in the bedroom isn't official.
      Turk: But it is officially hot!

    • J.D.: Guys, why?
      Carla: The Janitor told us that if we pretended to know about Jiggly Ball, we get to throw tennis balls at you.
      Turk: And I couldn't pass it up, dude!
      Elliot: I got my shift covered! Heh!
      J.D.: I could see where it would be funny from the outside of the circle...

    • Dr. Cox: What really bothers me is that you can look in there at John Morrison, a guy you essentially gave a death sentence to...and just not care.
      Dr. Kelso: It's not my job to care, Perry.

    • Turk: Baby, she said she doesn't want to be helped.
      Carla: If J.D. were drowning and he told you he didn't want you to save him, wouldn't you do it?
      Turk: That depends. What if there're hot chicks at the pool? Maybe he wants one of them to jump in and save him?
      Carla: Let's say there's no women.
      Turk: There's always women at the pool, baby!
      Carla: Fine. He's in a pond.
      J.D.: Oh, I would never swim in a pond! They're infamous for serpents!
      Turk: You could swim at the Y on Tuesdays - men only.
      J.D.: Have you been to the Y on man night? Not me.
      Carla: N-okay-fine! Turk's the one who's drowning!
      Turk: Oh! So now a brother can't swim!

    • J.D.: Can you believe Elliot's working in a free clinic?
      Dr. Cox: Who?
      J.D.: Dr. Reid?
      Dr. Cox: I'm sorry, that's just not ringing a bell.
      Carla: She and J.D. used to sleep together.
      Dr. Cox: "J.D."?
      J.D.: That's not even funny!
      Dr. Cox: Priscilla, I honestly, on my mother's grave, thought your real name was Carol.

    • J.D.: Look, Dr. Cox, this intro is killing me. Have you seen Kelso?
      Dr. Cox: Nope! But, our new patient, Mr. Franks, in here is crazy rich, so I'd imagine Big Bob will be here momentarily to make love to his moneyclip.

    • Janitor: You're a bit of a know-it-all, aren't you.
      J.D.: Well, I know a lot.
      Janitor: Yeah? Who was Deep Throat?
      J.D.: Mark Felt, the FBI guy. That's been all over the news for months.
      Janitor: Oh, sorry, rich boy. My TV doesn't get the news. Just the Bible channel and some kind of Chinese boxing.

    • J.D.: You know, Laverne, I'm a doctor. So I'm not really gonna take my psychological evaluations from someone who dispenses them in between watching Maury and eating a corn muffin.
      J.D.'s Narration: Okay, that was too mean. Apologize.
      J.D.: Laverne, I...
      J.D.'s Narration: Aw, the hell with it. She's not gonna forgive you - go for broke!
      J.D.: I was watching CNN earlier. Apparently the terror alert in your armpits has been elevated to orange.

    • Dr. Cox: I don't think you understand the predicament that you're in here. Kelso expects a long, glowing testimonial. The kind that make men cheer and women...what is it that women do, Newbie?
      J.D.: How the hell would I know?
      J.D.'s Narration: They swoon!

    • Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Colonel Doctor.
      Colonel Doctor: Excuse me?
      Dr. Kelso: I'm sorry, I don't know your name, and you look like that Kentucky Fried Chicken guy.

    • Ted: Gather round, people! Dr. Kelso has an announcement to make!
      Dr. Kelso: That'll be all, Ted. You can go back to doing whatever you were doing.
      Ted: It was my day off.

    • J.D.: Yeeeeaaaah, I'm gonna need you to go back in there and use some form of the word "die" - dead, dying, deadsies, Deadwood - your choice.
      Keith: What was the middle one?
      J.D.: Deadsies.

    • Keith: Well, I just told him that there's nothing more we can do right now.
      J.D.& Turk: Ooooooh.
      Keith: What?
      J.D.: "Nothing more we can do right now" implies there may be something we can do tomorrow.
      Keith: Well, I also said we'd make him as comfortable as possible!
      Turk: Sounds like someone's getting new pillows and a comforter.

    • J.D.: So, this is where germs are born...

    • J.D.: I just say something nice about him that's actually true!
      Dr. Cox: You go do that and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible.

    • Dr. Kelso: This Friday I am receiving an award from the AMA..
      Dr. Cox (interrupting him): Jerk-off of the year.. no.. bastard of the year.. don't you tell me.. "Guy I despise so much I'd pay someone to kill you and stuff you and leave you by my bed so that when I wake up in the morning I gotto roll over and punch you in the face"... of the year.

    • J.D.: Turk, have you heard of Jiggly Ball?
      Turk: Yeah it's a game the orderlies made up.
      J.D.: I've heard of it, too. It's so awesome that we've both heard of it.
      Turk: Yes...that...that's awesome.

  • Notes

  • Allusions

    • Heckle and Jeckle:
      Mr. Keck calls Turk and JD 'Heckle and Jeckle' in reference to the cartoon characters; two wisecracking crows who always outsmarted their enemies.

    • Deep Throat:
      Janitor: Yeah? Who was Deep Throat?
      J.D.: Mark Felt, the FBI guy. That's been all over the news for months.

      Mark Felt had indeed recently outed himself as 'Deep Throat', the whistblower in the Watergate Scandal. His disclosures to journalists Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein led to the uncovering of the Watergate affair and the resignation of Richard Nixon.

    • Maury Povich:
      JD says "I'm not really gonna take my psychological evaluations from someone who dispenses them in between watching Maury and eating a corn muffin."
      He is referring to Maury Povich, a talk show host on NBC.

    • Deadwood:
      J.D.: I'm gonna need you to go back in there and use some form of the word "die": dead, dying, deadsies, Deadwood - your choice.
      Turk: Deadwood?
      J.D.: Did you know cowboys used to curse?
      Turk: I didn't know that.

      Deadwood is a western Drama on HBO.

    • Colonel Sanders:
      Dr. Kelso: Thank you, Colonel Doctor.
      Doctor: Excuse me?
      Dr. Kelso: I'm sorry, I don't know your name, and you look like that Kentucky Fried Chicken guy.

      Dr. Kelso is talking about Harland David 'Colonel' Sanders, the founder of the famous restaurant chain 'Kentucky Fried Chicken'.