Elliot: Oh, do me! Do me! Do me!
J.D.: You're gonna want to be careful about yelling that out in a bar.
Elliot: I'm serious! All you guys get to be something: The dork, the jock, the spicy firecracker from the school of hard knocks. No offense, Carla. Dammit, what am I?
Carla: You're white.
Turk: The whitest.
J.D.: Yeah, you are.
Elliot: Oh, come on, J.D.'s white!
J.D.: I ain't hearin' that, woman, 'cause I'm talkin' to him.
Turk: Okay, it's a tie.