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Dr. Christopher "Chris" Duncan Turk
Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox
Nurse Carla Espinosa
Dr. Robert "Bob" Kelso
Dr. Elliot Reid
Dr. John Michael "J.D." Dorian
JD says that Dr. Cox has never invited him out to have a beer. Yet a fairly major part of My Heavy Meddle, six episodes earlier, was about that very thing happening.
Dr. Kelso always calls the interns for their last names (including the surgeons). However, he called Todd by his first name.
J.D.'s female names given to him by Dr. Cox in this episode are Janice, Gladys and Carla.
Ben is in the hospital originally due to the fact that he shot a nail through his hand. Later in the episode when he goes out to talk to J.D. and show him the pictures he took, he shows no sign of having anything wrong with his hand. In fact, he lifts himself up onto the railing to sit down using the palms of his hands. This shows how J.D. is daydreaming the whole time Ben actually has Leukemia because reality does not show.
In the first scene where Carla approaches J.D. to talk to him about his search for a mistake in Ben's test results, she says "either your instincts are right, or your brain is trying to protect you from something". In the flashback to this scene later on, Carla says "either your instincts are right, or your brain is trying to protect you from the truth".
In the scene when J.D., Elliot, Carla and Turk are eating in the cafeteria there is a goof with J.D. and Elliott's drink. At the beginning of the scene J.D. is drinking what looks like apple juice and Elliot is drinking milk. At the end of the scene when J.D. is paged to go get Ben's results they've switched drinks.
However, this drink switch might signal the moment in the episode where J.D. begins to imagine a sequence of events, because he has already realized that Ben has cancer.
J.D.: Wait, why would you want a picture like that? I thought you said that posed pictures aren't real?
Ben: Come on, J.D. None of this is real. You know that.
Carla: Let me ask you something. You're kind of a boob guy, right?
J.D.: Excuse me?
Carla: I can tell, because I've seen you look at mine. Um, not in a sleazy way, or anything...
J.D.: I think this is the most uncomfortable conversation I've ever had!
Carla: You wanna touch one?
J.D.: I stand corrected! You're my best friend's girlfriend!
Carla: Ah, so your instinct is to pass on this fantastic one-time offer?
J.D.: I'm afraid so...
Carla: I'm up here, Bambi.
J.D.: Oh, sorry.
J.D.: Can you help me out here?
Elliot: What do you want me to do, cry?
J.D.: Can you do that?
Elliot: Sure. Gimme a second to think of something sad.
J.D.: Quickly! Quickly!
Elliot: Okay, that's not helping!
J.D.: I'm sorry, I shouldn't even put you in this position. I-
Elliot: Oh, there we go. You know, another man in my life trying to protect me.
J.D.: Stay with it, Elliot...
Elliot: I mean, everyone thinks that I'm just this little girl who can't take any criticism because her mom and dad give her nothing but criticism.
J.D.: Good, Elliot, this is good...
Elliot: And look where it's gotten me! You know, I'm 26, single, and all I do is work! You know, I may as well just give up the idea of being a healthy and... happy relationship, and just go ahead and... And... And...
J.D.: ...become your mother...
Franklin exits the bathroom
Elliot(crying): Check Mr. Sullivan's tests again!
Elliot: How cool was that!
J.D.: I'm just asking you to check, Franklyn, and see if you could've made a mistake.
Franklyn: Look, I've worked here seven years, and never made a single mistake!
Elliot: You mixed up my patients' urine samples yesterday!
Franklyn: Okay, I make lots of mistakes. But I really have to go to the bathroom right now, and after that I'm going to lunch.
Ted: Hey... there... buddy... How is my... best friend... doing?
J.D.: Ted, you and I hardly know each other.
Ted: These aren't my words.
Turk: Look here: My friend needs you to check on the Ben Sullivan file, and you're gonna do it right now. Why? Because you're not gonna drop the ball like you did on my patient.
J.D.: You said "drop the ball."
Turk: I know! That was totally by accident!
Turk: Yeah, I know who screwed this up. It's that same lazy-ass admitting nurse that mixed up my files. And there she is! I'm gonna go get her.
J.D.: Turk, I can fight my own battles, man.
Turk: You're not gonna write her one of your angry notes, are you? 'Cause she doesn't deserve it.
J.D.: No, I lost my thesaurus.
Turk: Okay, well you go get her, then!
Dr. Cox: Look, Ben, I know I am prone to making the occasional casual reference to your sister being a, well, a wire-haired man-goblin... but I hope that has no effect on your relationship with her.
Ben: That's really very sweet of you to think that you're that important.
Dr. Cox: Ben? Why?
Ben: 'Cause it's my thing. You're just jealous you don't have a thing.
Dr. Cox: I had a thing - I used to like to hike, but Jordan somehow got that in the divorce, too.
Ben: She got your hobby? That's vindictive!
Elliot: So, turns out she wasn't really pregnant after all, 'cause some idiot mislabeled her urine sample!
Turk: I was a heartbeat away from giving an appendix patient a crotch lobotomy! If I do my best, and I lose a patient? You know what, I can live with that. But if a clerical error is the reason why a guy's walking around here with only the lonely? Well, damn! That don't sit well with the Big Dog!
Ben: What the hell are you doing to me?
Dr. Cox: Just humor me. It's probably mono, anyway.
Ben: Isn't that the "Kissing Disease"?
Dr. Cox: Yeah.
Ben: Come on, let him have a little fun.
Dr. Cox: All right, Clara, you can go ahead and order yourself a Cosmopolitan; we'll just grab a cab home.
J.D.: Actually, Ben has been sneaking me beers all night, and I'm quite drunk.
Dr. Cox: Well, that's just great.
Ben: Kim Basinger.
J.D.: Please, '9 1/2 Weeks'. Winona Ryder.
Ben: Never naked, but just hand-to-nipple in 'How to Make an American Quilt'.
J.D.: Aww! Good! At last, a worthy foe!
Jill(into phone): Tim, sweetie, I wouldn't have slept with someone else if I didn't love you so much!
Elliot: No! No! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop! Take the phone...!
Jill(into phone): Hold on one second. Ho-ho-hold on! (To Elliot)Hi!
Elliot: Hi! Your last name is Tracy! Well, of course, you know your last name is Tracy, but what you don't know is there's a woman down in 308 whose first name is Tracy. So I started thinking about your urine sample, and how you always carry that water bottle with you and stay very well-hydrated - which is why your pee is a much lighter color than most people's pee. And then I remembered the sample that came back with your name on it was bright yellow and the other Tracy, she is not much of a water drinker... which is why I think her skin looks so pasty-
Jill: Okay, sweetie, I'ma need you to get to the point.
Elliot: You're not pregnant! The lab tech just switched the samples!
Jill: You're killin' me... (To her phone) Hey, Sweetie! You know I was just jokin' about all that stuff, right?
Dr. Kelso: Dr. Turk, I heard about your mishap earlier today, but here's the skinny: If that patient finds out what happened because you can't reign in your yapper, then heads are going to roll. And I promise you yours and Ted's will be the first to go!
Ted: What did I do?
Turk: Consider my lips sewn shut, sir. Which, in this hospital, could actually happen!
Turk: I can't stop thinking about Mr. Weinberg's testicles.
Turk: I mean, I almost removed one of them, Todd!
Todd: Which one?
Turk: Like it matters.
Todd: Oh, it matters!
J.D.: To buddies!
Dr. Cox: What in the hell do you think you're doing!? You can't drink beer, you're our driver! That's why we brought you to begin with.
Ben: It's just not right. You know, I'm gonna drink this for both of us.
Dr. Cox: Hey, Ben, you realize we haven't grabbed a beer in a couple of weeks - what's that about?
J.D.'s Narration: You know, he's never asked me to grab a beer. But I don't care...
Dr. Cox: Newbie? Would you like to come?
J.D.: Oh, God, yes.
Ben: Jordan, I'll call you later, all right?
Jordan: Okay, fine. Forget it. Forget it. You big jerk!
Dr. Cox: Y'happen to remember when she used to be fun?
Dr. Cox: Me neither.
J.D.: Me neither!
Dr. Cox: When spoken to, Newbie. When spoken to. Here, I thought we were clear on that one!
J.D.: Yeah, we were...
Ben: Hey, don't be mean to him. You're mad at me.
Jordan: Yeah, because you shouldn't be doing contracting work. You. Are. Clumsy! That's why things like this keep happening.
Ben: They don't keep happening.
Jordan: How many times have you hurt yourself with that nail-gun?
Jordan: Oh, come on.
Ben: What? With that nail-gun? It's a new nail-gun. If it'd been any other nail-gun, then, yeah, the estimate would be slightly higher.
J.D.: So, you're gonna wanna re-wrap the gauze when it gets soiled.
Jordan: Wow, re-wrap a dirty bandage. It's phenomenal how you doctors keep all this stuff in your head.
J.D.: You know, we don't - it says it right there on the box.
Jill: Oh, I almost forgot! I'm engaged!... Oh, right... There used to be a ring there, but then my, uh, fiancé did some soul-searching, and we decided that it needed to be a little more fancy.
Elliot: Oh, you have no idea how happy this makes me! I've been trying to figure out how to tell you the only reason you're vomiting and exhausted is, well... you're pregnant!
Jill: I'm what, now?
Elliot: Yeah, pregnant! Your fiancé is gonna be so happy!
Jill: My fiancé and I decided not to have sex until we were married.
Elliot: So he's not gonna be so happy.
Jill: More curious, really, than happy...
Jill:How are you!?
Elliot: How are you?!? I haven't seen you since your breakdown!
Jill: Oh! Which one!?
Surgeon: Patient's name is Moe Weinberg. Cancer is confined to the right testicle. Dr. Turk will be assisting with the removal.
Turk: Sorry, Moe - looks like you're about to either lose Larry or Curly!... Starting the incision.
Surgeon: Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop. I'm guessing Mr. Weinberg is Jewish?
Turk: Yeah. So?
Surgeon: Why isn't he circumcised?
J.D.'s Narration: A recent medical study found that a mistake is made on about twenty percent of all patients. Most of these are clerical and harmless, but, it still adds up to a lot of near misses.
Todd: Dr. Wen wants me to ask you if there could be a mix-up? Because our appendicitis patient, that dude doesn't have an appendix!
Dr. Cox: Hey, Ben, look what the cat tried to drag in right before it was skinned and eaten.
Jordan: You're still with the annoying camera?
Ben: Do you just skip the whole part where people say hello to each other?
Jordan: Hello, Benji. You look very pale.
Ben: I miss the sweet talk!
J.D.: You're a little weird, aren't you.
Ben: Just a little bit.
Ben: So, who's the, uh, fan club?
J.D.: Neat hug!
Dr. Cox: Newbie, no one likes a lookie-loo. Not now, not ever.
Elliot: Drew Barrymore, Meg Ryan, and Jennifer Connolly?
J.D.: 'Boys on the Side'; 'The Doors'; and as for Miss Connolly: topless in 'Inventing the Abbotts', bottomless in 'Requiem for a Dream', and in 'The Hot Spot', you gotta love her - frontal and... tush-tush!
Carla: Oh, my God!
Turk: You da man.
Turk: You ever notice how a tumor looks just like cheese?
Carla: Is that good cocktail conversation?
J.D.: I had this patient today, thought he had blood in his stool? Turned out to be pimento!
Elliot: I worked on a homeless guy who vomited up an entire mitten. I mean, that's not gonna stop me from wearing mine when it's cold out!
Carla: What is wrong with you people? We have a good bottle of wine, we all look nice for once - can we please talk about something other than work? Please?
Turk: Name an actress. J.D. could tell you which movie she appeared in naked.
Carla: I'm gonna go put on my pajamas. I can't believe I shaved my legs for this.
Hematopathologist: Call me Dr. Bobb.
J.D.: You go by your first name?
Hematopathologist: No, first name's Fred.
J.D.: "Fred Bobb"?
J.D.: OH! Why do you have to jump out and scare me all the time!?
Janitor: I don't jump out and scare you! I follow you around all day! I only got about an hour and a half worth of work around here, and the rest of the time I track you... like an animal.
J.D.: You're kidding, right?
Janitor: Haha... I don't know? Am I? Hmm...
Jill: The last time I saw you, I was really stressed out - you know, the weight of the world on my shoulders... So guess what I did?
Elliot: Quit your job!
Jill: Flushed my fish down the toilet! No more feedings, no more cleaning the bowl... No more being judged for having a second glass of wine...
Elliot: Oh, don't even get me started on judgmental fish!
Jill: Uh-huh. But then that sent me on this whole shame spiral, so I decided to travel. I got hit on in Venice! I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro! ...For about ten minutes - it's very, very steep... And then I went to Florida to swim with the Dolphins! And I don't mean the fish! There was an NFL thing going on at the hotel!
Jordan: Maybe it's been too long. Maybe my feelings were hurt a little bit.
Dr. Cox: "Feelings." That's a good one.
Ben: Jordan, you're a big girl now. When you got the divorce, you put people in the awkward position of having to choose between you and Perry.
Jordan: You're my brother!
Ben: Well, admittedly, that made it a bit harder.
Ben: Argh! You could hang a freakin' raincoat off my nipples.... Left one at least, only the right one's just a little shy.
Ben: When they're posed, they're not real. You know, I hate that whole, like, "gneen!" thing. That's why, at a party, you'll see me in the bushes with my camera.
[J.D. points at the two-by-four in Ben's hand.]
J.D.: So, what's that, like your lucky board...or something?
Ben: Oh, that? No, it's a nail-gun accident.
[Ben holds up the bloody board, very obviously nailed right to his hand. ]
J.D.: Oh, my God, that's disgusting!
Dr. Cox: I already dosed him with morphine, and the x-ray says the nail went straight through, so it's not that big a d...
[From J.D.'s perspective, the room begins to spin. ]
Dr. Cox: Oh dear God, she's getting woozy! Quickly, show her the bloody side!
[Ben holds the board up. ]
Ben: Look at that!
Dr. Cox: Yeah, yeah!
Ben: Touch the nail!
Dr. Cox: Touch the nail!
Ben: Wanna touch it?
Dr. Cox: Touch it!
Ben: Touch the nail! Touch my nail! TOUCH IT! LICK THE TIP OF MY...!
[Suddenly the room goes black.]
Dr. Cox: Good night!
Dr. Cox: [To Ben] Now, let's get you to a hand surgeon.
Ben: What about the tough guy?
[Dr. Cox strips off his rubber glove and shoots it at J.D. on his way out of the room. ]
Dr. Cox: Somebody'll get her.
[Following Dr. Cox, Ben leans over J.D. and waves the fingers of his nailed hand over the board. ]
J.D.: Oh, please don't.
Dr. Cox: [To J.D. at the bar] Gladis, if you could chalk it without pleasuring it that'd be terrific.
Dr. Kelso: Ted, tell him our most important rule at Sacred Heart
Ted: "Too much ha ha, pretty soon boo hoo!"
Dr. Kelso: My other rule.
Ted: Uh, "If you don't look for a mistake, you can't find one."
Dr. Kelso: That's right, Teddy-bear. Now... Stop looking for trouble just because you like this patient, and face the facts! Remove him, Ted.
Ted(while ushering J.D. out of the elevator): That "Ha-ha" rule is true!
Original International Airdates:
Czech Republic: January 15, 2013 on Prima COOL
Title Explanation: "My Occurrence" refers to the short story, "An Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge", in which the main character goes through a series of events only to discover that they had occured in his head - just as J.D. does.
All the still photos in this episode were actually taken by Brendan Fraser himself.
"Daydreams and Lies" by Keren DeBerg
"Hold On Hope" by Guided by Voices
An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge: The title of this episode is a reference to the classic short story An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge by Ambrose Bierce. As the main character, Peyton Farquar, is being executed, he engineers a fantastic escape. Ultimately this is shown to be just a vivid fantasy, and he dies. A similar occurence happens with regard to Ben's cancer.
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